My son is 7 weeks old and is on formula primarily (I pump a few ounces a day). And honestly… I’m so happy about it. It’s not what I had originally planned or thought would be the case, but I’m realizing how much better this is for us.
I love how much my husband can help with feeding. I can go hours sleeping without worrying about being the sole provider for nutrients. I felt some guilt for a while but now I’m so proud of my chunky formula fed baby.
@happilyretired I’ll chime in here as a husband: I’m so grateful my wife is ok with formula, that she had the mindset right from the get-go of “my baby is not going to starve because I’m on a ‘breastfeeding journey’”.
Since our son was a c-section, we had him on formula from his first feed. Since then my wife still pumps regularly (though to her dismay only gets about 1.5-2oz when our son take 4-6oz per feeding) and even breastfeeds him at night to buy me some time to go make the bottle.
It has been so wonderful to be able to take such a large part in feeding my son, and it’s entirely thanks to my wife and her attitude.
@kent2schmid That’s awesome! I highly respect women who EBF or pump because it’s so so hard. But if it’s not working out IT’S OKAY! My husband also enjoys being able to feed our son. It’s bonding for them too!
@happilyretired Started formula feeding after about a week, there was so many reasons breastfeeding was not working for us, now my 7 week old is a thriving hungry hungry hippo it’s a great feeling having a happy healthy baby!
@katrina2017 I’m glad I’m not the only one who calls my baby a hungry hungry hippo
We started combo feeding with formula week 1 and just made the full switch this week (week 5!), I felt a lot of guilt as first but now it feels so freeing to be done with breastmilk and in a good routine for our family!
@artofmcw Yes omg I think she’s going through a growth spurt because she will not stop eating right now!
I had a lot of guilt too, and just overall sadness. But her pediatrician told me to stop listening to what other people are saying because my baby is loved, safe, and fed and that is all that matters!
@katrina2017 My OB said once you see kids running around on the playground you’ll never know which ones were formula fed or breastfed. As long as they were fed!
@katrina2017 I keep showing my wife posts like these to help her with the guilt. Because of the society we live in, no matter her mentality and willingness to FF, she’s still bombarded and inundated with “breast is best” and “you SHOULD be able to give your baby all the nutrition they need” thus implying she’s somehow failing. Our 5wk old is thriving, happy, struggling a bit with gas and indigestion (which we’re handling like champs), and is growing at a healthy rate.
Any words of encouragement or things I could tell my wife to help her see how amazing she is in this journey?
@kent2schmid Tell her that having a newborn IN GENERAL is extremely hard. So many new life changes. On top of that we are going through mental and physical changes postpartum. WE ARE CHAMPS. Regardless of how our babies are fed. She is doing a great job!!!!!!
@kent2schmid Agreed- having a newborn and recovering postpartum is so difficult. So much more difficult in many ways, more than I imagined. “Fed is best” and all that jazz for the baby - but also a woman should do what is also best for her and what she wants!!
Even when I finally had a successful breastfeeding session after 2 weeks of struggle… I didn’t even enjoy it! And that was the final decision point for me.
@kent2schmid I think its awesome you are here asking this. I wish my partner was. I feel rather alone in my grief over the c-sec & breastfeeding journey... I cant help but feel Id get more deference as a mom if I was breastfeeding. Partner’s attitude is he can just as well meet baby’s needs & it makes me feel pretty insignificant only to add to the failure feeling. So hats off to you for prioritizing how wife is feeling. Seems like once baby arrives, mom is just not that important. Happy to hear not the case for your wife!
@happilyretired I sobbed and had a legit breakdown the day I decided to switch to exclusively formula despite the fact that I KNEW I was making the right choice for my mental health. I think it's just all the hormones combined with the whole 'breast is best' mentality of today's society. I really wanted to try again because I managed to go 3 weeks with my first before I switched to formula. My mental health suffers so much when I don't get adequate sleep.
Anyway, we're much happier now! Fiancé takes the night shift until he goes back to work so we're both getting sleep. I can't take care of my babies if I'm not taking care of myself.
@happilyretired I held onto my ego of 'I am a mother I shall breastfeed' till about 4 weeks. I pumped and I inhaled galactagogues and I was miserable. All of my own choosing.
It took a loss of my mental sanity, and my mother in law sternly pointing out that a) I was miserable and was not enjoying having a baby and no one was gonna give me a medal b) supply dropping to nil coz of the stress i was taking c) absolute breakdown in the middle of the night as I pumped for 60 mins and had 3 drops in the bottle for me to make the switch cold turkey.
Bub was already on 70:30 skewed to formula and was happier.
@happilyretired I had guilt too but having a 9 month old baby now and I'm so glad. There have been so many times these past few months that I think, "this would have been so horrible if I was breastfeeding" teething, doing errands most of the day, having to be away from baby for a while. It would have made me crazy.
@brokenroad That's why I was in mental turmoil when I was BFing. In the beginning I kept thinking "How am I going to get anything done? He wants to eat constantly! How am I going to feed in public? Where will I be able to hide to feed? What am I going to do when I have to go back to work? What if I can't pump a supply? What if I want some time alone and I don't have a supply? Am I ever going to be able to have time alone? Omg I have to quit my job but then we won't make enough money!"
@happilyretired The mental load of being the sole feeder is not talked about enough. Especially when your kid doesn’t transfer a lot consistently and needs supplementary milk, it’s just so much to bear. So happy you’re happy!
it’s a great feeling having a happy healthy baby!
