Boy (Trans) Dad

[taj]

@n14joe Good for you. I'd rather my son have the choice instead of making it for him.

 

[n14joe]

@taj Thank you. I’m sorry for your loss

 

[dpoblete]

@taj Voyeur premom here: Not that it should matter- but there is no difference in the esthetics of a grown person’s circumcised or uncircumcised penis when erect.

Plus i hear there are a lot of nerve endings in there.

 

[wolfpup]

@taj I'm with you on it not mattering and thinking OP will be totally fine. But non trans people are definitely way wrapped up in their gender identities, they just tend not to realize it.

 

[tmthy21]

@lookingforhope47 Hey!

I have very little insight into the journey of a trans person. Which makes me completely unqualified to provide you any valuable insight into your situation related to your question.

But I am a human being and a parent, which is where this advice is coming from.

Don't worry.

Stress is the biggest enemy to both parents during pregnancy. So try and focus your brain on preparing for the upcoming arrival and not the specifics of what challenges you may face post birth.

Know that this journey you take with your baby and partner, will have it's own story unique to the three of you. There will be some similarities in the challenges that most new parents face but this journey will largely be about the 3 of you.

Love your kid. Use common sense. Be good partners and then good parents. Lean on your support network.

Remember, purge your brain of any thought regarding what "perfection" looks like as a parent. Whether your wanted a girl and ended up with a boy, or that your baby breastfed instead of using formula, or that you only allow your kid 20 minutes of screentime, etc. Just ditch all of that and burn it. Give you and your partner the freedom to learn your baby and the ability to raise that baby how you see fit. You don't need a measuring stick to compare your parenting and child to the journey of others. Just love your kid.

It's selfish of me to say but I don't see you as a transmasc person married to a cis woman. You're just a couple expecting a baby, worried about how best to raise your baby. Going through the very real and very relatable stress of wanting to be the best partner and parent to your new family. So welcome, and congratulations!!

Love your partner, enjoy this moment, trust in yourself and your partner to make good decisions as they come.

Best of luck!

 

[twighlight]

@lookingforhope47 I have a daughter and a son, and a lot of the pre birth anxiety and worry went out the window at delivery. My wife and I are a great team. You and your partner will have each other to calm the other’s anxieties. There will be challenges, but you will get through them.

Talk to your OB and future pediatrician about circumcision, people who are more knowledgeable. There are pros and cons to everything, including choosing to circumcise or not. My son was circumcised at birth, and it was more or less a week of petroleum jelly and gauze and he healed nicely. He’ll never remember it, and today at 4 months has an amazingly smiley disposition, and all body functions are normal. My best friend and my FIL both were circumcised in adulthood and experienced far more pain and more difficult recovery. I know this is anecdotal, but again, speak to medical professionals and make whatever decision you feel is best for your child and family.

As far as sex or gender of your child, the fact that you’re seeking advice on parenting already shows you care, and while the child’s experience may seem somewhat foreign to you and your partner (which is fair), it will have minimal effect. Love your kid, foster and nurture them, learn when you feel you don’t know something.

You are going to be great parents. Congratulations!

 

[weemo]

@lookingforhope47 “Never do anything to my child without their consent” is the dumbest thing…circumcision I understand and that’s up to you whether to do it or not. If not, that’s fine you just have to remember to ingrain in your child that’s pulling the skin back and cleaning it is imperative.

But the whole “never do anything to my child without consent” is dumb…so just to be clear you will not give your child a vaccination without their consent? Will not have tubes put in their ears if they end up with chronic ear infections, without their consent? As a parent, you must decide what’s best for your child when they cannot think for themselves, or when they are not cognitively able to make an informed decision.

 

[dropbear]

@weemo Consenting to medical treatment for your child is very different from consenting to a cosmetic procedure.

 

[weemo]

@dropbear My point stands, the statement is dumb