Aquarium is the same as the TV?

[eveningxhush]

Hey fellow moms, I just wanted to ask your opinion, as this really made me question myself.

I'm (34f) a SAHM and I have 3 children. Son A (16) son B (9) and daughter C (22 months).
We don't have a TV in our living room.

I am not a big fan of screen time, but the older two are allowed to play games on the PC or watch movies or YouTube on the tablet.
The oldest A has a smartphone with internet access as well.
Just not all the time, but I recognize that media consumption is normal nowadays and I think to learn responsibility with the internet, you should be able to use it.

My daughter C is not allowed to have screentime yet.
I think she doesn't need it, she has a Tony box to listen to music and lots of toys etc. And we play with her a lot, I go outside twice a day because we have a dog as well.

We do have an aquarium with seawater.
Its very pretty, colorful and there is obviously a lot going on.

C LOVES it, and i put her learning tower in front of it, so she is able to watch the fish whenever she wants to, without me having to pick her up.

Sorry for the long intro, now to the story.

Today a relative (K) of my fiance came to visit with her kids.
We sat together for coffee and cake and the kids were playing, everything was fine although K was loudly wondering why we didnt have a "normal" living room .

I told her the reason and that it helps me keeping up with the household when C has all her toys and play equipment in the living room, so i can cook, fold laundry etc. Instead of having everything in her room (she sleeps in our room anyway). And that we don't need a TV.
She rolled her eyes a bit but didn't say much.
Later I cut some fruits and veggies for the kids as a snack and C grabbed some apple slices and climed her learning tower to watch the fish while eating them.

K told me that that is the same as watching TV and eating and that I'm being hypocritical pretending to be crunchy (i never called myself crunchy)while letting C watch the aquarium just not to have to deal with her.

I was baffled...
We all eat breakfast, lunch and dinner together at the table but my kids were always allowed to take their snacks and play, or read or whatever...

Now I'm wondering if it is really bad for C? I don't want her to develop unhealthy habits just to make my live easier if you know what I mean,?

Thanks for reading all of that and sorry if my wording isn't good, englisch isn't my first language.

 

[moonbeams]

@eveningxhush K is ridiculous. Watching animals in their environment is not screen time...

 

[eveningxhush]

@moonbeams Thank you, that's my opinion as well

 

[kathyrat]

@eveningxhush Sounds like someone who feels bad about their own parenting choices and wanting to drag you down. Watching live fish is not comparable to watching TV. Especially with just a snack. Watching TV while eating isn't recommend for kids because the distraction increases the risk of choking and distracts them from "listening to their body" to know when they're full. Watching fish is not as distracting as seeing flashing images and constantly changing scenes and hearing music and sounds, etc.

 

[eveningxhush]

@kathyrat Thank you so much for your detailed comment.

You are right, C doesn't mindlessly eat until the plate is empty while watching the fish

 

[emmsmom81]

@eveningxhush Hahahah no of course not, K is weird. The reason why tv is 'bad' is because it's so attractive to us to watch that we don't look at the real life things around us, it actively stops us from interacting with people and things. It's technically over-stimulating, but at the same time not very educational - it doesn't really teach us much that is of real value when growing up - not many words, not many ways to do things, etc.

The aquarium is a real life thing, in fact a really cool real life thing that is teaching your kid about animals, plants and the way ecosystems can differ. Of course it's mesmerising to watch. But I'm sure that if you had three goats running about the kitchen, playing, eating things, interacting, she would be watching them nonstop as well. Animals are just really cool. That said, it won't have that over-stimulation factor because, well, real life doesn't tend to be over-stimulating in the same way as tv can be, even if it's really really cool real life.

 

[eveningxhush]

@emmsmom81 Thank you so much, that totally makes sence.
I was just uncertain by her offended reaction

 

[patersonchristian]

@eveningxhush She’s judging you so you’re too thrown off-balance to judge her. It’s a classic defensive reaction.

But also, it was judgemental af for her to criticize your interior design choices in the first place. She doesn’t live with you, she gets no say. Did she also tell you what color to paint the walls?!

 

[eveningxhush]

@patersonchristian Hahaha, no she didn't, she has a drastically different parenting style from mine, and I believe that she thinks she has to show me that hers is better, if you know what I mean

So she implied that I'm spoiling my kids by letting them have the living room as their playroom

 

[xdirtx]

@eveningxhush I sort of assumed that was a toddler-household given?? It has been in my experience with my house and those we have visited Sorry there’s evidence of children living here??

 

[eveningxhush]

@xdirtx I know what you mean, and you are absolutely right!

 

[patersonchristian]

@eveningxhush

 

[cheesecakephan]

@emmsmom81 So true! Toddlers just love animals- I think my 11 month old spends 50% or more of ever meal just watching the dogs - and they aren’t even colorful !

 

[maria2012]

@eveningxhush By this logic, whenever a bird flies by, windows are TV, too.

 

[eveningxhush]

@maria2012 Hahaha true

 

[jyothi]

@eveningxhush She’s insecure. You’re doing a great job

 

[eveningxhush]

@jyothi Thank you so much

 

[cameronb67]

@eveningxhush K is an asshole.

 

[eveningxhush]

@cameronb67 she can be a handful

 

[sevenout03]

@eveningxhush My toddler likes to watch our dog while we eat. Is that screen time now?! Ridiculous