Age gap between #2 and #3?

[jojoz]

@daniel1986 Haha that’s one way to do it!

 

[daniel1986]

@jojoz All joking aside, there’s pros and cons to different age gaps. If you feel you’re on a time crunch due to age but you’re wanting a 3rd, I say do it. I would always be wondering what if.

 

[preston354]

@jojoz 18 months between 2 sets of twins. I liked it because I was still in the thick of things. I couldn’t imagine starting over after independence, potty training, etc…

 

[jojoz]

@preston354 Oh my gosh 2 sets of twins! You’re amazing.

I have 18 month gap between #1 and #2 and I love it!

I agree with you — I planned them so close because I didn’t want to taste freedom before restarting from zero again

 

[rosierose]

@jojoz 16 months. The oldest will be starting Pre-K (3k) about the time the youngest goes to daycare, so it isn't as costly as having three in daycare at the same time, but it won't be cheap. I thought we were done after 1, so 3: 3 and under isn't a gap I would have chosen. I do look forward to having all of them out of diapers and through the toddler stage in a couple years. I have nephews that are 4 years apart and I can't imagine getting through this stage and saying "let's do that again".

 

[jojoz]

@rosierose Thank you! That’s exactly what I’m concerned about — daycare costs for 3 kids at once

I was thinking of timing it so that #1 is in Pre-K (we have a public Universal Pre-K program in my region) by the time #3 needs daycare, so we can keep the costs somewhat under control

 

[getonyourfeetmusic]

@jojoz 12.5 months lol. I have 3 under 3 and come next spring I'll have 4 under 4. Wish me luck

 

[jojoz]

@getonyourfeetmusic Omg, warrior! You’re amazing

If you don’t mind my asking, do you send your kiddos out for childcare (eg daycare) or are you a SAHP?

It’s the childcare costs that are scaring me about 3-under-3. I didn’t do very well mentally for the 1 year I was a SAHM, and I’m so much happier with our now-toddler in daycare

But daycare (or daycare + preschool) for 3 kids at a time is absolutely notttttt affordable

 

[getonyourfeetmusic]

@jojoz I stay at home with them. It's exhausting and has me at the end of my rope more days than not, but I wouldn't be comfortable sending my kids somewhere else during the day when they're still so young. Maybe it's a cultural thing, but that was never something I'd really considered even if it wasn't as expensive as it is

 

[stateemil]

@jojoz Our gaps are 6y, 24mo and 20mo - they’re currently 10y, will be 4y this month, will be 2y next month, and almost 3mo.

I’m 42.

Edit I’ve enjoyed/am enjoying our gaps for a variety of reasons. There’s definitely challenges, but I think that’s a given!

 

[jojoz]

@stateemil That’s amazing! If you don’t mind my asking, how was pregnancy over 40?

I’ve experienced doctors being real jerks about “geriatric pregnancy” and the associated increased costs (e.g., having to go to MFM for scans) kind of frustrating

 

[stateemil]

@jojoz It’s been totally fine, which I honestly didn’t expect because I’m definitely an anomaly in our area. I was 40 when #3 was born, and 42 with #4. I’ve been with the same practice (and actually saw them for a pregnancy we lost during second tri between #2 and #3), and they’ve been great. I saw MFM for both pregnancies because of the loss, and I was very comfortable with that. But otherwise really didn’t feel like I was treated any differently. I’m pretty comfortable being direct with providers about my needs and expectations, too, which may help (I’ve had 3 VBACs, so I always ask lots of questions from early on about keeping that an option and being proactive).