kayleey_your_moon
New member
I'm done trying to fix misinformation on this sub. It's become exhausting. But I guess I leave you with this.
I have been wearing my kids since my 7 year old was 2 weeks old, 3 year old was a preemie and 5 days old, and still wear the 3yo. I became a babywearing educator with Babywearing Intentional 6 years ago. Anyone who calls themselves an educator from the US was probably too. That or the Center for Babywearing Studies graduate. It took me months to train for that accreditation and had to pass a pretty intense practical and written exam since we were helping people both online and in person.
For 4 years, twice a month, I would fit caregivers in a variety of carriers. Not everything is my specialty, and I know my limitations, but basic babywearing knowledge applies in all situations.
A - airway. Baby should always be close enough to kiss the top of their head without stretching your neck, their nose and mouth visible at all times, and you should be able to fit two fingers between their chin and their chest at all times. Positional asphyxiation is a thing, and this is why this is important. Imagine baby's airway like a drinking straw, if the straw is bent over no liquid can pass through. The same goes for their airway.
B - body positioning. For the most ergonomic support, baby should fit in a carrier supported from to knee to knee without overextending their legs. This is for optimal comfort for both baby and the wearer and for healthy hip development. This means baby's legs should bend freely at the sides of the carrier and their knees should be higher than their bum forming an m shape. Newborns have a gentle C curve to their spine. The carrier should be supporting this position, and if it's too tight that c curve will not be prominent. As baby grows their spine straightens out and this is less important. We're really talking mostly about newborns to 6 months here.
C - comfort. If you aren't comfortable you're not going to like babywearing. If your baby is not comfortable, they're going to let you know. Comfort is one of the most important parts of this. You can have the position 100% correct and not be comfortable, and that means things aren't adjusted right for YOU or this carrier isn't right for you. And that's okay. Carriers are kind of like jeans, what works for me might not work for you. The best carrier is the one that fits you.
D - don't drop your baby. A bit tongue in cheek I know, and comes across that way in person, but the sentiment is that if you're practicing a new skill, like a back carry, to do so with a spotter or over a soft surface like a bed or a couch. Babywearing is a skill to learn just like many other parenting things. It's a lot of fun, a little bit of work in the beginning, but it makes life so much better.
There are so many things that I see here that is just bad information and occasionally dangerous. the waistband of your soft structure carrier does not need to be under your breasts. It needs to be where baby is close enough to kiss and that you are comfortable. Everyone's torsos are a different length. Some people may find under the breast comfortable and that's the only place that baby's close enough to kiss. Some people may find their hips most comfortable and their baby is still close enough to kiss. Saying the carrier needs to be somewhere is just lazy advice.
An m shape is not well defined in any soft structure carrier, and a "deep seat" is typically only seen in a woven wrap or ring sling or a meh dai where you are forming the seat yourself. Exception is SSCs without a structured waistband. If baby's bum is sitting so low it's almost at the bottom of your waistband, you're actually probably doing something wrong. That waistband makes it so that their knees will still sit higher than their bottom but it doesn't have to be super deep. This is one of those things where in person assistance is so helpful, but because of the pandemic babywearing education changed.
There are so many more carriers out there than what you see in big box stores. The number of brands that you can find in Target or buy buy baby has skyrocketed since I started babywearing 7 years ago. Hell when I bought my first Tula I literally had join a Facebook group where people posted which small business websites were stocking which patterns and they could sell out in hours or even minutes. Most of those small businesses have sadly gone out of business. But there are always more brands to discover that you won't find in those corporate stores.
Ergo is not the end all be all brand. Neither is happy baby. Personally, I find ergo's carriers very bulky, hot, and hard to get a good fit. This comes from my experience as an educator fitting people with these carriers for years. I understand that there are definitely people out there that love the ergo Omni 360, but it's one of the worst carriers I've ever seen to get a good fit and I've never seen somebody satisfied with that carrier in person. Most return it after bringing it to a meeting with tags on and finding they just can't get comfortable, and seeing all of the other options. The ergos we had in our lending library just took up space. No one ever checked them out.
The meetings I volunteered at would have about 50-100 carriers for people to try on or check out through library lending program. We'd have average 25 people at the meetings I attended with usually 3-5 volunteers to help everyone. Non stop helping people for 2 hours because there were so many people who wanted to learn and like with most nonprofits not enough hands. I don't say this without experience.
I am so passionate about helping people learn how to wear their babies. My org is one of few who continued meeting after Babywearing Intentional declared bankruptcy and dissolved. We formed our own nonprofit with 30ish volunteers, having 8ish meetings a month across a 60 square mile service area and offering probably a thousand carriers for checkout. Since meetings shut down at the start of the pandemic I've been itching to help people, and Reddit has been great for that. As meetings start to happen again, I'm so excited to meet people in person. This sub has really helped me to fill my cup and help other people love babywearing too.
But the last couple weeks I've been so discouraged by the misinformation that gets spread here. Trying to correct it is so difficult and frustrating, and I think I'm done for a while. I know this post was not necessary, as I'm sure people don't even know who I am despite commenting daily for months. But I just wish people wanted to actually learn the correct advice to give and not just parrot what other people say. Everyone starts somewhere. I obviously didn't, and still don't, know everything. But you learn and grow. Know better. Do better. I wish people could see that.
Edit* thank you to everyone who left kind words. It really does mean a lot to me to know that I've helped people here. I love talking about babywearing, probably to the point that it's obnoxious, and I'm always happy to talk about carriers with anyone who asks. I might be just in and out of the sub, but I'm mostly likely going to take a long break.
Edit 2* sorry for the second edit. I realized I should have said the ABCs of babywearing came from Babywearing International, not me. I've used them for 6 years though and this is my version of the talk we give at meetings. Just want to give credit where credit is for.
I have been wearing my kids since my 7 year old was 2 weeks old, 3 year old was a preemie and 5 days old, and still wear the 3yo. I became a babywearing educator with Babywearing Intentional 6 years ago. Anyone who calls themselves an educator from the US was probably too. That or the Center for Babywearing Studies graduate. It took me months to train for that accreditation and had to pass a pretty intense practical and written exam since we were helping people both online and in person.
For 4 years, twice a month, I would fit caregivers in a variety of carriers. Not everything is my specialty, and I know my limitations, but basic babywearing knowledge applies in all situations.
A - airway. Baby should always be close enough to kiss the top of their head without stretching your neck, their nose and mouth visible at all times, and you should be able to fit two fingers between their chin and their chest at all times. Positional asphyxiation is a thing, and this is why this is important. Imagine baby's airway like a drinking straw, if the straw is bent over no liquid can pass through. The same goes for their airway.
B - body positioning. For the most ergonomic support, baby should fit in a carrier supported from to knee to knee without overextending their legs. This is for optimal comfort for both baby and the wearer and for healthy hip development. This means baby's legs should bend freely at the sides of the carrier and their knees should be higher than their bum forming an m shape. Newborns have a gentle C curve to their spine. The carrier should be supporting this position, and if it's too tight that c curve will not be prominent. As baby grows their spine straightens out and this is less important. We're really talking mostly about newborns to 6 months here.
C - comfort. If you aren't comfortable you're not going to like babywearing. If your baby is not comfortable, they're going to let you know. Comfort is one of the most important parts of this. You can have the position 100% correct and not be comfortable, and that means things aren't adjusted right for YOU or this carrier isn't right for you. And that's okay. Carriers are kind of like jeans, what works for me might not work for you. The best carrier is the one that fits you.
D - don't drop your baby. A bit tongue in cheek I know, and comes across that way in person, but the sentiment is that if you're practicing a new skill, like a back carry, to do so with a spotter or over a soft surface like a bed or a couch. Babywearing is a skill to learn just like many other parenting things. It's a lot of fun, a little bit of work in the beginning, but it makes life so much better.
There are so many things that I see here that is just bad information and occasionally dangerous. the waistband of your soft structure carrier does not need to be under your breasts. It needs to be where baby is close enough to kiss and that you are comfortable. Everyone's torsos are a different length. Some people may find under the breast comfortable and that's the only place that baby's close enough to kiss. Some people may find their hips most comfortable and their baby is still close enough to kiss. Saying the carrier needs to be somewhere is just lazy advice.
An m shape is not well defined in any soft structure carrier, and a "deep seat" is typically only seen in a woven wrap or ring sling or a meh dai where you are forming the seat yourself. Exception is SSCs without a structured waistband. If baby's bum is sitting so low it's almost at the bottom of your waistband, you're actually probably doing something wrong. That waistband makes it so that their knees will still sit higher than their bottom but it doesn't have to be super deep. This is one of those things where in person assistance is so helpful, but because of the pandemic babywearing education changed.
There are so many more carriers out there than what you see in big box stores. The number of brands that you can find in Target or buy buy baby has skyrocketed since I started babywearing 7 years ago. Hell when I bought my first Tula I literally had join a Facebook group where people posted which small business websites were stocking which patterns and they could sell out in hours or even minutes. Most of those small businesses have sadly gone out of business. But there are always more brands to discover that you won't find in those corporate stores.
Ergo is not the end all be all brand. Neither is happy baby. Personally, I find ergo's carriers very bulky, hot, and hard to get a good fit. This comes from my experience as an educator fitting people with these carriers for years. I understand that there are definitely people out there that love the ergo Omni 360, but it's one of the worst carriers I've ever seen to get a good fit and I've never seen somebody satisfied with that carrier in person. Most return it after bringing it to a meeting with tags on and finding they just can't get comfortable, and seeing all of the other options. The ergos we had in our lending library just took up space. No one ever checked them out.
The meetings I volunteered at would have about 50-100 carriers for people to try on or check out through library lending program. We'd have average 25 people at the meetings I attended with usually 3-5 volunteers to help everyone. Non stop helping people for 2 hours because there were so many people who wanted to learn and like with most nonprofits not enough hands. I don't say this without experience.
I am so passionate about helping people learn how to wear their babies. My org is one of few who continued meeting after Babywearing Intentional declared bankruptcy and dissolved. We formed our own nonprofit with 30ish volunteers, having 8ish meetings a month across a 60 square mile service area and offering probably a thousand carriers for checkout. Since meetings shut down at the start of the pandemic I've been itching to help people, and Reddit has been great for that. As meetings start to happen again, I'm so excited to meet people in person. This sub has really helped me to fill my cup and help other people love babywearing too.
But the last couple weeks I've been so discouraged by the misinformation that gets spread here. Trying to correct it is so difficult and frustrating, and I think I'm done for a while. I know this post was not necessary, as I'm sure people don't even know who I am despite commenting daily for months. But I just wish people wanted to actually learn the correct advice to give and not just parrot what other people say. Everyone starts somewhere. I obviously didn't, and still don't, know everything. But you learn and grow. Know better. Do better. I wish people could see that.
Edit* thank you to everyone who left kind words. It really does mean a lot to me to know that I've helped people here. I love talking about babywearing, probably to the point that it's obnoxious, and I'm always happy to talk about carriers with anyone who asks. I might be just in and out of the sub, but I'm mostly likely going to take a long break.
Edit 2* sorry for the second edit. I realized I should have said the ABCs of babywearing came from Babywearing International, not me. I've used them for 6 years though and this is my version of the talk we give at meetings. Just want to give credit where credit is for.
