4 month regression? Almost 17 weeks and now refuses bassinet. Unsafe sleep situation last night.

[mosesson]

@sweetkf Agree with others they probably need more sleep… you mentioned you cap a 2hr nap, so sounds like they’d like more sleep?

I had to start using an app to help understand exactly how much mine was getting. I’ve managed over a few weeks to increase from 11/12 to 15 hours sleep. I just have to carrier nap in the day and I do let him sleep 3 hours straight sometimes before 4pm but he’s only 10 weeks

 

[bip]

@sweetkf Increase your wake times a bit and then sleep train at the start of the night. Absolutely drop to 4 naps, 5 naps is newborn territory

If he won’t fall asleep with nursing and rocking he is way under tired and needs more sleep pressure

He’s not too young for Ferber. 4 months is a very common time to sleep train .. I did it on my son’s 4 month birthday.

If you go to the PLS Facebook page (great resource) people are applying SLIP at much younger ages than suggested in the book and the author is very active in that group

 

[onthewingsofeagles]

@sweetkf I feel like your post was written by me 4 months ago, so I'm going to share my experience.

We resorted to co-sleeping. I have a love/hate relationship with that choice. I loved the baby snuggles and how close I felt with my son - initially. But then it quickly became that I was the only one who could settle him AND he couldn't fall asleep anywhere but in our bed. Quite honestly it turned into an unsafe sleep environment very quickly. Because we let it go for so long, we've had to resort to CIO. I hate it and never thought I'd be this parent, but it's honestly the only thing that has worked.

Another horrible downside to co-sleeping that I never see mentioned; now I can't sleep without him beside me. My son has been blissfully asleep for hours and I'm scrolling Reddit to prevent myself from standing over him wanting a snuggle. My anxiety is horrible either way, and ultimately I regret co-sleeping because I think we both regressed during it.

If you had a routine that worked for you before, my advice is to stick to it. If you have to scroll on your phone or set alarms so you don't fall asleep, try it.

Best of luck to you, I hope your experience goes better than ours!

 

[sweetkf]

@onthewingsofeagles Ohh thank you for sharing your experience!! I have been way too anxious to co sleep but now that he’s bigger it’s tempting. I love the night snuggles but I also want to be able to sleep with my husband again someday.. and I don’t have a safe setup for it either. You sound like you’re regretting the decision to do it. But also sounds like it was somewhat necessary at the time… if it makes you feel any better one of my mom friends said she regretted NOT co-sleeping with her first baby so you’re damned either way I guess. And omg a mom sleep regression?? First I’ve heard of that but makes total sense!

 

[life1114]

@sweetkf These wake windows are wayyyy too long for 5 naps! This is basically a 3 nap schedule. I would def cut back to 4 if not 3 naps.

 

[sweetkf]

@life1114 Sorry can you explain? Do you mean the day is too long? Most of his naps are 25-35 mins long..

 

[life1114]

@sweetkf The starter wake windows for a 3 nap schedule is 1.5/1.75/2.25/2.5. Youre basically there but adding 2 more wake windows. Have you tried extending the wake windows? Even if it was 4 30 min naps thats fine but you said sometimes you get a 2 hr nap. I think youre adding a wake window instead of bedtime and he’s getting overtired.

 

[sweetkf]

@life1114 Ahhh ok I get it. I was aiming for 10 ish waking hours a day with my schedule as he seems to sleep 13 hours max..

 

[life1114]

@sweetkf Longer wake windows could extend his naps… I’d give it a try for 5 days and see how it does.

 

[life1114]

@sweetkf Longer wake windows could extend his naps… I’d give it a try for 5 days and see how it does.

 

[dano5]

@life1114 Sorry if I'm coming out of context but I really don't understand what does 1.5/1.75/2.25/2.5 means.

I see it quite often in this sub and can never understand it. Does it mean:

1.5 h awake

1.75h asleep

2.25h awake

2.5 h asleep?

Sorry for the ignorance and bringing this up! Don't mean to steal the focus of the help

 

[life1114]

@dano5 The numbers are time awake between naps, the wake windows and the / is a nap. 1.5 = 1h30mins 1.75 = 1hr 45 mins etc. hope that helps!

 

[dano5]

@life1114 Super clarifying thanks!

 

[0hplease]

@sweetkf I agree with the above baby could be way too tired and that's why he's fighting sleep. You're on 5 naps it looks like? Have you considered dropping to 4 and bringing bedtime earlier - 9pm feels quite late for 4 months? And are you preparing to sleep ahead of sweet spot, I'd say be napping at least 10 minutes before desired sleep time. And lastly is your baby getting lots of floor time? If they're gearing up to roll I've read lots of floor and tummy time to practise is really important.

Sleep training is a choice and I have no problem with CIO methods, but I'd argue something else is off with this level of sleep avoidance so I'd try to reduce it with scheduling first (personally).

I'm not sure I'd invest in safe cosleeping set up... my LO has always been a hold to sleep junkie, he doesn't fall asleep co sleeping as he's still on his back so it's always been asleep transfer to a next to me cot... but again wouldn't invest in that this late! As he'll soon be in his main cot.

Finally don't feel bad and ignore the haters, falling asleep with baby in your arms is not ideal but it's completely normal and we've all done it.

 

[ckm]

@0hplease 100% agree with this comment. Drop to 4 naps and pull bedtime much earlier. You may have some false starts for a couple of nights but I suspect this is a compounded overtired situation paired with an incoming sleep regression.

 

[sweetkf]

@0hplease He was going down at 11 pm until a few weeks ago and we’ve gradually shifted him to 8:30-9 pm bedtime.. When he went to bed at 11 he’d wake at 8:30 or 9, and now that he goes down at 8:30 he wakes at 6:30** so I’m nervous to try pushing bedtime even earlier and be getting up at 4… based on the advice I got here I’m going to try to push his WW longer and drop to 4 naps.. I’m still not sure if he’s over or undertired but I do suspect he truly has lower sleep needs because even when I had his WW dialed he was only able to do 9 hour nights…

Also yes he is not a fan of being carried so spends most of the day playing on the floor! Lots of tummy time