2 under 2 with no support?

[niqhtcore]

I have a 6 month old currently and go back between being One and Done and wanting him to have a friend close in age. If we were to have another one I would either want one soonish or not ever.

The thing is that we don’t have much support. My husband’s family is nearby but I don’t fully trust them to watch our baby alone. Maybe when he is older but for now I just feel like they’re too careless with everything and it bothers me.

My point and question of this post is: is 2 under 2 possible with little to no support? I see people with 2 under 2 on social media all the time but behind the screens there’s no telling how much support they really have. Would we have to get a nanny? If that is the case I don’t want another one because of financial reasons. Basically my husband would have to get another job to solely pay the nanny. So there’s really no point. We would just never see each other anymore.

Thank you for reading and I appreciate any advice/input!

 

[heloise23]

@niqhtcore I don’t have any support, SAH and am a solo parent about 4 months of the year as my husband travels. I couldn’t have done 2u2 with no support and was terrified to get pregnant when my daughter was under 2 (she was not an easy baby or young toddler). But I’m pregnant with my second now and my daughter will be close to 3 at this baby’s due date. It seems totally doable, now. My first sleeps better, talks well, has been potty trained a while, likes to help clean and do chores, and is even easy going compared to her baby self.

 

[kimosabe2019]

@niqhtcore Would you be working? I had mine 2.5 years apart and we have a part time nanny. Since I went back to work early and we took the older out of daycare. But at this age gap it's doable alone, imo. 2 under 2 would have been brutal but the option wasn't fully there since I have a c-section and waited the recommended 18 months before trying again. The toddler adores the baby, it's awesome so far.

 

[niqhtcore]

@kimosabe2019 I wouldn’t mind 2.5 or even 3 years in between! I’m not super set on “2 under 2” I just think it’s a catchy saying and gets the point across of having 2 tiny babies at the same time haha.

But no I wouldn’t be working I would be a full time SAHM. That’s why I’m like debating. I’m like I don’t want to bite off more than I can chew.

So basically while you work from your home your part-time nanny watches the kids but otherwise you watch both alone? Thank u so much for your input! Ugh I would so love to see my child adoring a little sibling. So glad it worked out for you.

 

[kimosabe2019]

@niqhtcore

So basically while you work from your home your part-time nanny watches the kids but otherwise you watch both alone?

Yep. I am using my paid parental leave bridge the gap right now so I'm still full time. We planned the gap with the assumption our toddler would be in public preschool when the baby was between 4-9 months though. We'll find out this week if he gets a spot.

The biggest thing is communication. My toddler can communicate with me so it was easier to transition from 1 to 2 kids. Also, we dealt with a lot of challenging toddler behavior while I was pregnant. Our friends with 2 under 2 are having a harder time with that.

I mentally prepared to take the 2vs1 role mostly. My husband still hasn't attempted to handle both kids alone out of the house. He was annoyed that I got a fancy stroller wagon. We didn't get anything fancy the first time around and my toddler has never been a stroller kid. But we go out all the time now just the three of us because of that thing. I know a lot of my other friends have not attempted doing the 2:1 yet either because their toddlers hate the stroller.

 

[olds8598]

@niqhtcore It's...a LOT. Haha. I had mine close, but wished I had spaced them out a bit when they were little. We lived far from family and I stayed home with them, but I was run ragged most days for the better part of 4 years. It was hard on the family unit as a whole and my marriage. THAT SAID! Now that my kids are 5 and 7, they really are the best of friends and they can do (and want to, and are ready for!) a lot of the same things. I'm sure I'll reverse my thoughts on this when they are older and I have 2 sets of potentially demanding activities/sports they're involved in, 2 extra cars in the driveway, 2 colleges to pay for at the same time, etc., but I relish that right now is good!!

 

[elly1]

@niqhtcore I think it's really hard when they're little. I struggled with 2 under 2 with support.. however i still think we would have had a second even without support. We definitely wanted our kid to have a buddy (and of course it felt right for us to have another). If time limit is not an issue, I also think having a slightly older toddler can be really helpful to the parents. In the sense that they have some independence by the time a second one comes along (sleeping thru the night hopefully, feeding themselves, potty trained, getting themselves dressed, playing on their own, etc). I have 4 kids 1.5 yrs apart and I think 3ish years would be great.

 

[parsonbrown]

@niqhtcore I may be a unicorn here, but I’m a speech pathologist turned SAHM in this season with two girls 26 months apart, no support (husband is very involved but works from home), and it’s been a breeze. I love my daily life with two and we are eager to add a third. I will say my toddlers temperament is exceptional - she’s just so sweet, hyper verbal, really fun to be with and little sis is easy going and along for the ride. Can’t say how much is nature vs nurture but we are very happy!