2 months postpartum and i don’t know where to start 😕

R

rrruff

New member
I need some advice and maybe some encouragement. I’m two months postpartum with twins. I had a C-section, and I have been feeling so disgusted with myself.
It started with me just hating my body, but now I just think I’m the most hideous thing ever.
I look in the mirror and just hate everything I see. I’ve always been insecure and a bit overweight, but now my belly is so floppy (I don’t know how else to describe it) my boobs are saggy, I haven’t been to the gym in a while, and my whole lower body is covered in cellulite. I feel like I have the ugliest face I’ve ever seen. It’s starting to affect my relationship because I can’t see how my man can be attracted to me in the slightest.
Any other moms feel this way? How did you overcome it?
I know getting back to the gym will help, but I don’t know when I’ll be able to do that because of childcare, time, and money. I’ve been trying to do at home workouts, but I feel like they’re pointless
 
@rrruff I made one small change every 2 weeks: bought a fitbit, started walking with my baby (in the stroller), started walking to the grocery store, worked on my transverse abdominal muscles, stopped eating at 7pm, started taking my multivitamins, started having smoothies with protein powder for breakfast, something beany for lunch like a veggie chilli, something vegetable-heavy for dinner like a buddha bowl, a homemade, healthier than store-bought dessert, spending 5 minutes doing my makeup every day and two minutes styling my hair, drinking coffee in a fancy mug, using dumbbells at home. Keep adding one more thing that will help you feel like yourself again.
 
@lovejoy76 Having some sort of reference for a time frame is so helpful. I feel like I’ll never get passed this, but it’s reassuring to know I will eventually.
 
@rrruff I felt exactly the same way. I’m 4 months pp today and I’ve been feeling A LOT better the past couple weeks. I’m just now able to fit in to SOME of my pre-pregnancy clothes. Remember that hormones are still affecting you at this time and go easy on yourself ♥️
If you ever need extra help don’t be afraid to reach out for it! Theres no shame in taking medications or therapy if it’s needed either!

Edit: I totally missed the twins aspect the first read through. That is so much harder on your body and you deserve some extra grace from yourself!! Please please please be patient with your body as it heals. You are beautiful and you did a beautiful thing!
 
@rrruff Well first congrats on your twins! I am so impressed by parents of multiples. It takes such executive functioning to keep that train on the track. And second, I can 100000% relate. My girl is 3 months and I keep being astounded and embarrassed at just how much heavier I weigh now than a year ago. I see old pics of myself and I’m like damn I was so attractive now look at me! I’m an old ugg that’s been all smushed down and creased and droopy.

But then I remind myself of a few things. Number one, there is no hurry. With my first it took me 2 years to get to a place where I felt really good. (Then I got pregnant again 🥴) Like seriously, what’s the rush? We have a lot of life left to live and it’ll be ok if we’re not our goal weight for a year or two (or any!) of it.

Second, we see our greatest results in the kitchen as opposed to in the gym, but for a lot of us neither mean much if our hormones aren’t on board. I just stopped breastfeeding and can tell my hormones are sorting themselves out. Once they get back to equilibrium then I think the scale will reflect that. Also, sleep and stress play a massive role in hormones. I am one that’s hyper sensitive to cortisol and when I’m tired and or stressed I hang onto excess weight. Trying to fight that will actually make it worse. That said, I’ve been watching what I eat extremely closely and it is slowly coming off.

I know that’s not comforting in terms of how we feel at this moment, but big picture it is reassuring to me. It just takes time. 💛

Eta- something else I do that helps me feel good is do 2 minute makeup every day! For me the most bang for my buck is brows, lashes, and blush.
 
@forgiven2013 This is amazingly reassuring! I feel like I’m going crazy sometimes feeling so down on myself. I also just stopped breastfeeding, and I beat myself up for that for a few days. I didn’t even think about the hormones that are reeking havoc on me. Its almost gotten to the point that it’s affecting my relationship with my husband because I just assume he things I’m as gross as i do.
 
@rrruff I am 6 weeks postpartum and feel exactly the same way! What’s helped me is forcing myself to put in a little extra effort on things that make me feel better about my appearance regardless of my weight, which for me is doing my hair and makeup. Even though I’m not leaving the house, and am wearing dumpy clothes covered in spit up, having a couple things about my appearance I like has helped!
 
@rrruff Two to four months pp was the hardest for me mentally because I felt removed enough from pregnancy that I was craving my “normal” body back, but also still looked very pregnant and was carrying a lot of extra weight.

What helped me was starting with easy changes, like switching to a more Mediterranean diet or cutting out certain junk foods. After a few months of that adjustment, I felt confident getting back into a real fitness routine with nightly home workouts and calorie tracking to maintain a deficit.

Your mental health is in such a vulnerable place right now. It’s important to find the balance of healthy diet and exercise while still loving your body at its current place. If you have the wiggle room, go shopping and get some new clothes that help you feel like yourself. I promise it will get better.
 
@rrruff Is your area walkable at all? I think a lot of post partum mothers can relate to you. I’m 9 months post partum and am only recently finally started to feel like myself in a lot of ways. It does get better! You don’t need a gym membership to get there. Diet is more important anyways to lose weight. I stalled in weight loss a bit after birth and finally maybe at 5-6 months I had it and got a gym membership BUT I love and miss the gym and it’s also a couple min walk from me so is convenient. I’m still pretty bad at going but to be honest I tried a YouTube video workout the other day and it KICKED MY BUTT. Plus was only 20 mins, so don’t knock home workouts! My area is also walkable assuming it’s not mid summer so I try to get at least 10k steps in a day as well. Assuming you can walk around your area, that is the easiest because you can just bring the babies :) If I couldn’t walk around outside, I’d probably get a treadmill for the home..
 
@aurora I live in a rural area, I can walk around my yard, but I can’t take the babies. I haven’t figured out how to get out on a walk without needing to pack them up and drive somewhere. We go on a few walks a week
 
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