18 y/o freshmen in college wants to get apartment with his gf of 6 months

[bishopjordan]

How can we convince him this is a bad idea? (because we can't legally stop him)

Some additional info. They started dating at the end of their senior year and she followed him to the same university. They are about 1000 miles from home. Neither have jobs and this is their first relationship. The relationship is still in the honeymoon phase and slightly toxic. Both get jealous of the other, neither are socializing with others, no extra curricular activities, 'dumb' arguments, etc.

I'm hoping this will just fall through on it's own, since neither is working, but I don't want to take that gamble. Was also considering reaching out to her parents. Help!!

 

[ewb1948]

@bishopjordan I wouldn’t recommend reaching out to her parents honestly.
If neither of them is working, i would recommend you maybe make a comment like “you need to add how much rent will be to how much you approximately will be paying in light bill, water bill, internet, groceries(break it up so it seems like a lot lol) so you know how to budget”, “how much fo you guys have saved for a deposit, first and last month rent, a moving truck and furniture?”, once you put it like that into perspective it becomes a little more realistic feeling of “wait, how am I going to pay for all of that?” kinda thing, and that might slow it down.

Also, like another comment said, you need to make abundantly clear that you will not be supporting two adults and they will have to cover their living expenses on their own, just in case they might be counting on you or her parents for this. It might not be the case but it’s better to make sure he is 100% aware of this.

I feel like at that age they do the opposite of what you’re going to tell him. At the end of the day he is an adult and like you said, there is nothing you can do to stop it. Sometimes people need to realize things on their own.

 

[bishopjordan]

@ewb1948 Thank you, he definitely is a stubborn one

 

[ewb1948]

@bishopjordan And I’ll tell you I was not a rebellious teenager or anything, I was your average teenager, good grades, never got in trouble, good relationship with my family, but when the idea of moving in with my boyfriend got in my head at 20 years old, I don’t think there was nothing my mom could’ve said that was going to make me change my mind. Of course it didn’t work out and a year later it was time to leave. Guess what I had? My mom… She was right there on that Saturday at 8am to help me pack my things and load the truck, no judgment, no “I told you so”, just the one making sure I didn’t leave anything behind.

 

[daveautumn2]

@ewb1948 You have a good mom