1 year and a half in - sleep is impossible

[bondo]

Literally a living hell this. The girl is up 5/7 nights a week for hours on end in the middle of the night. We’ve tried everything from sleep therapist to changing her schedule during the day and night and nothing seems to work. How the f*** do people cope with this shit. I used to have a happy life, I’m struggling to see the bright side at times these days and cannot do the things I used to enjoy as can’t recover from them or don’t have the energy even if my wife stays at home to watch over her while she sleep- e.g. lift weights, catch up with friends in the evenings, just enjoy reading or playing video games.

Dad bod is definitely a thing and I despise it. I feel so unhealthy, overweight and like there’s nothing I can do about it.

When does this get better? All I do is work and look after child while trying to rest in between. It’s exhausting and quite unenjoyable. People who say “oh it’s so rewarding” honestly make no sense to me.

Edit - got a sleep therapist involved again. Turns out my daughter has some form of intolerance to dairy and cutting this out has been a massive help. No longer is she awake for hours on end. It’s just the odd wake in the night and then down again after her mum or I go in and reassure her for a few mins. Life in comparison to before is like night and day.

For those of you with a first child who loves food and appears to often be bloated, if their sleep is an issue you may want to look at intolerances as a potential issue. Hurts to think it’s been causing her discomfort for so long but all the professionals (consultants, doctors, nurses etc) we spoke to never clocked it either.

 

[helpmyheart]

@bondo Our first didn't sleep through the night till after he was 2. We thought it would never end. All the other parents had children who slept beautifully. Then one day he was poorly and he slept through the night and has been a great sleeper ever since! It'll end eventually. Keep chugging away.

 

[ckmervin]

@helpmyheart Ours is now 5 and most nights he is sleeping through the night. He would occasionally give us a couple nights in a row where he didn't get it.. Those mornings I woke up like "what year is it!" but mostly until he was about 4-5 he was getting up at least once a night. Now he can mostly just be told to go potty and then go back to bed not requiring much intervention unless he wet the bet which is also becoming more and more rare.

 

[hannahhansen]

@helpmyheart He was poorly?

 

[mattcruz]

@hannahhansen Sick. More common for Brits to say poorly.

 

[bryangonz]

@mattcruz Gosh you think they’d bother to learn English by now…

 

[faithwithobedience]

@hannahhansen He didn't make enough money that day

 

[christophert1991]

@faithwithobedience Peasant

 

[mydonspace]

@christophert1991 Silence Knave!

 

[oloriadejoke]

@bondo One day at a time mate. We're all just winging it, head just above water.

 

[otruitt]

@bondo I'm in the same boat. I feel for you, it's unbelievably hard.

Just throwing it out there, we had been putting him to sleep between 6.30-7 PM so we could also get some free time, but it turned out that it wasn't his natural rhythm, and he would wake up crying sometimes up to 10 times a night. Now we let him get tired on his own, which unfortunately means a bedtime around 9-10PM (kid has insane energy levels), but it did cut down his wakeups to 1-2 times a night. Worth considering.

 

[carra]

@otruitt 8 pm to 6 am is our magic window. My kid will sometimes be awake till 9 pm but I think that's largely because he can get overstimulated. If you're pushing 10 pm you're likely having an overstimulation problem and should reevaluate evening wind down activities.

Screen time (blue light) absolutely can fuck up their wind down rhythm. Being hungry can affect that too (i.e. they didn't eat enough at dinner).

 

[lulusinclair]

@carra Yea there’s no way a kids natural rhythm is to go to bed at 10pm, no matter their energy levels. When people advise to push back bedtime, they mean like a half hour- not 3 hours man. The issue is somewhere else, although I can appreciate you feel relieved to get better sleep.

 

[marcellus22]

@lulusinclair Circadian rhythm disorders exist, it's very much possible their natural rhythm is off by 3 hours or more and that could simply be how their brain is wired if there isn't a temporary cause. In that case forcing them to sleep outside of their natural rhythm would be like forcing them to go to bed at 5pm every day then waking them up at 3am.

 

[azziez2158]

@otruitt Funny I got shamed posting here before for such a late bed time. Glad I'm not the only one!

 

[muslimani]

@azziez2158 I’m like damn my two year old and I be up at like 1030pm watching cartoons lol. I’m a bad dad!!!!
We tried to early bedtime thing and nawww… both mom and I are night owls and the Apple has not falling far from the tree

 

[knrn]

@otruitt Just to throw it out there, both directions can help. I've had friends who moved up the bedtime of their energetic kids and that also helped sleep. I'm not saying a particular time is good, just consider trying different times to see if it makes a difference.

 

[dayspringadelusi]

@bondo My wife and I used Taking Cara Babies’ program and it worked like a charm. Our baby started sleeping through the night at 6 months old and hasn’t looked back since. She’s almost two now and sleeps from 7pm-7am every night.

 

[bubblegumjoy]

@dayspringadelusi Ditto for both our kids

 

[sports]

@bubblegumjoy Same for our first