“You ate a lot”

[pat449]

Hi everyone, I’m feeling a little hurt over something my partner said. He unapologetically eats a lot, or so it seems. And farts more than anyone I’ve ever known, seriously. He’s not fat, just a little belly.
I’m 4’11 and was right at 100lbs before getting pregnant. I’ve gained 10 lbs and am in week 20. I clean houses for a living and often miss lunch because clients like me to come midday. I usually eat a late light breakfast and a big early dinner, no lunch.
Same thing today, except we were taking our friend out for dinner which meant I had to hold off two extra hours while starving until we went out for dinner.
So when we got to the restaurant, I was starving. And I scarfed down a fried mushroom and coleslaw sandwich which sounds gross, but it was delicious. Afterwards, he commented that I ate a lot when he ate all almost all of my fries and some of my friends fries, no joke.
We have this happen a lot where he judges what I eat and he will happily eat like a pig, which I don’t judge him because like he can do him, it’s fine. I don’t care but when I get upset is when he judges my eating habits. One time we went on an 11 mile hike that gained a lot of elevation. We were out there all day and all I had was an avocado cheese wrap, and trail mix. At the end of the day he had eaten so many Cliff bars that he wasn’t hungry at all. He didn’t understand that I was hungry and I needed to eat before our 2 hour drive home. He almost refused to stop to get me food, which ended up being pizza from a gas station that they were minutes away from throwing away that was barely edible. This was before I was pregnant and generally he’s a really sweet guy, but this food thing is really getting on my nerves. I don’t mention how he chews with his mouth open and kind of eats like a pig, because I love him and it’s whatever, but if he would just let me eat when I’m hungry without commenting. I’m a recovering bulimic and, it really upsets me to come this far with my relationship with food and have him comment on my eating and make me feel guilty and self conscious. I literally ate a sandwich for dinner, a vegetarian sandwich, and he told me I ate a lot after I cleaned for four hours, didn’t eat lunch and being pregnant. Anyway, sorry just a little rant. Thanks for listening.

 

[yolo2324]

@pat449 Sounds incredibly toxic- red flag. I'm sorry.

 

[woodbs]

@pat449 I think you sound put your foot down. Think about whether you'd want him saying this to your child. Maybe some therapy for just you to help you be able to approach this in a way that is comfortable to you.

 

[sbobet779]

@pat449 Consider counseling if you want to stay with him. This is not okay even without the information that you’ve struggled with ED before.

 

[nevyn34]

@pat449 This is pretty serious and can end up escalating. I highly suggest you let him know how it makes you feel and ask him to stop doing it immediately. If he doesn't, then I'd suggest going to therapy.

 

[wizz]

@pat449 Well that just triggers all my own food stuff, when comments are said to me. That’s so insulting! And!!! Opposite to helpful: you’re pregnant and are also in charge of managing your own food i take

 

[mrdelicieux]

@pat449 Oh honey, you don’t deserve that kind of criticism. You eat when you are hungry, and tell him to go pound sand because his opinion is not needed and not requested. Eating too little during pregnancy carries more risk to the baby’s development than eating too much. If he keeps it up, definitely see a therapist and work on boundaries. Or leave him. Because he definitely sounds like he doesn’t know or want what’s best for you or your baby. It also sounds like maybe it would be a good idea to prioritize more protein based snacks and meals too, which is good for baby and will help stave off hunger.

 

[frenchfrye]

@pat449 I eat so much more than you. I am recovered from a ED too. 25 weeks pregnant. Husband has never commented on my eating, only I do that. Your partner is being super insensitive, hopefully just not thinking rather than trying to make a point.

 

[tex12345]

@pat449 Wtf? How can you even tolerate this in a partner? That’s absolutely vile and unacceptable, even if you weren’t pregnant. Add in the fact that you’re recovering from an ED and growing his baby and it’s almost unbelievable that he would act so stupidly, why doesn’t he care about your nutrition?

 

[reineke]

@pat449 He’s bike, however, going forward ALWAYS have snacks on you. You’ll get so hungry at the end it make you want to puke! And snacks once the baby is here too!

 

[ann56]

@pat449 Oy that guy is not good for you. Being a recovering bulimic, this relationship is too toxic for you. If he knows that you are recovering and comments on your eating he is T-O-X-I-C and you should find a man that actually cares. You deserve better. He should not shame you for eating. Seems he is putting you down to feel better about himself.