“She needs a sibling,” says my sister in law

@scarletl Be like my dad! He’s amazing. He flies up to help us from another state and is the only grandparent involved in my daughter’s life.
 
@dp26 “I think tf not you trick ass bitch”

In all seriousness, nobody needs a sibling. I have 11. I have beat their asses and tried to kill one several times. Siblings do not always work and parents of larger families play favorites (won't admit it)
 
@dp26 I disagree with other people saying it’s a passing remark or that they would take it as a joke. It’s totally unprompted. I would understand if you had sent a photo/video of her playing with imaginary friends or talking with her dolls etc to maybe imply that she’s lonely.

You’ve done a great job Mama, it is your decision whether you have more kids don’t let comments like this get to you but never sweep it under the rug either!
 
@dp26 I wonder if your sister-in-law is projecting? What's her family situation? I find that the people who press most are those who long for a baby themselves. They need to stay in their own lane FFS.
 
@onthepathtogod Oh you’re spot on. She is childless but not by choice. She doesn’t have a partner and has tried to conceive and adopt on her own many times the last 15 years and it’s been a heartbreaking experience for her. I know if she could have children she would probably have a bunch; however that doesn’t mean I have to!
 
@dp26 I'm sorry you've been through so much, even if she "means well", I'm positive the hardships you've been through are not completely unknown to her, so the comment is unnecessary and I'm sure she knows it.
 
@dp26 So sorry you're having to deal with this. Your dad sounds like an absolute gem though!

My wife and I have a 4.5 year old. Last week we were out at dinner with some family when one of them said, "He's almost five? It's time to have another. He has to have a sibling. You just have to have another one."

It's so easy for people to throw out statements like this without considering:
  1. We're finally sleeping pretty well at night. Will they come feed the newborn at 2, 4, and 6am before we have to get up?
  2. We love giving our son attention and playing with him and teaching him. Will they watch the newborn while we continue giving him our attention?
  3. Diapers and formula are expensive. We're no longer buying either. Will they foot the bill?
The list goes on and on. When people say things like this I don't get a sense of malice or judgment all the time, but it doesn't mean it doesn't exhaust those of us in the one and done camp. You know what's best for your family better than anyone!
 
@dp26 OMG, I hate this shit more than life itself. My now EX-MIL started this shit when my son was 3 months old. The first time she said DS needs a sibling, and I ignored her. The second time she commented you have to give DS a sibling to play with and I walked out of the room. The third time she asked when are you going to give DS a sibling, I looked at her and said as soon as DH gets pregnant.

My son turns 24 in September and is an only child...FUCK her...
 
@dp26 Could you maybe tell her this so that the comments end? I think understanding that you went through a lot with little support could help her to see that she has no place saying anything about siblings. Just my two cents
 
@dp26 I think I remember a post about what to say when someone offends you like this. Something like “omg that was so rude. You must be incredibly embarrassed!” Or something like that haha! It’s what keeps my snarky self sane when people start asking me when I’m having another. Or I’ll just say oh fuck no..
 
@dp26 I know this was a post from a year ago but I’m 13 wks and have had sudden urinary retention with no sign of UTI or any other infection. After a bladder and uterus ultrasound I have been given a catheter and no answers. Did you present with urinary retention? How did you get diagnosed? Thanks!
 
@dp26 i think it’s a passing remark but i can understand being triggered - i would too, if i were you. i think a lot of it stems from their lack of help and your having to struggle alone. for what it’s worth mad respect to you. surgery with a colicky newborn? i would not survive that!
 
@dp26 I think it’s clear that she just meant to say that your daughter is adorable. I think the intention of someone’s words is important.
 
@jdsnyd Actually she followed up by saying “I treasure my siblings so much and I know you want that for your daughter.” So….
 
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