@eilightened I think you're spot on with your comment: no matter what you do or how you feed your babies, mothers will get judged for being mothers in public. But it's not by everyone, really just the people rude enough to say something. Realizing that those people are being incredibly rude helps me not feel ashamed, because I'm doing nothing wrong by feeding my baby, while they're going out of their way to try and make me feel bad for... Making sure my child gets fed?
We never really fed our older daughter out in public, because she was born just before the pandemic. So when she was tiny, we were too scared to take her to any indoor places for too long because of "an unusually bad cold/flu season". When she was bigger, all the indoor places were closed or restricted.
By the time things had improved enough to feel comfortable taking her out, we were onto solids.
With my second, I'll admit it feels a little weird, but I just take the formula out and make the bottle and focus on looking at her and engaging with her. I'm also combo feeding, so I get the best of being nervous about both things!
AND we're going through a bit of breastfeeding aversion, so it's a struggle to try and nurse, and then follow up with a bottle while she's crying. But I just focus on being a calm and patient parent for her, not on how much of a scene she's making.
Honestly, my game plan if anyone makes any comments is to start out with a very stern "oh, no thank you", and if they insist on carrying on with it I'll move onto, "What kind of person tries to ruin a stranger's day because they're feeding their baby?"