Wife’s water broke at 31 w / 4 d - scared and alone

@anon9000get My babe was in the NICU for a short stay so I can't say much about the long term effects. She was only three weeks early. But the nurses I've met in the NICU are all amazing. It takes a special person to be in there. Your babe will be in good hands.
For me the scariest thing was not knowing what I was going to see every time I came in that room. Would she have taken a step back? What will I see when I walk in? It was so emotional and I'm glad I had my husband by my side. You being there will do a lot for her. Tell her you admire how strong she is and how much you love her and love your LO. That helped me. I wish you luck. We're all here for you.
 
@anon9000get My water broke with my daughter two years ago at 29+6, was on hospital bedrest until a long induction at 34 weeks, she was born at 34+2. We spent 16 days in the NICU, 5 on CPAP then just feeding and growing. I won't lie, it was one of the hardest experiences of my life but my daughter is doing amazingly well now. Her verbal skills are super advanced and she is caught up on growth. You wouldn't know she had such a rough start.

I'm guessing they won't let your wife go past 34 weeks, that's usually standard because the risk of infection outweighs the risk of prematurity at that point. I've read some studies suggesting 35 weeks is a better cut off, so it might depend on your hospital. Once you hit the 48 hour mark without going into labor, you have a much better chance of making it to 34 weeks.

I'm now 27+1 with a baby boy and I'm terrified of having another preemie or Pprom again. All the what ifs are tough. But here's the thing: none of us is promised a healthy kid with good outcomes, physically or emotionally. Your son or daughter might need glasses, have ADHD, struggle with depression, etc. That is true whether they are born today or at 40 weeks. Prematurity can increase these risks but you'll really never know if that's why your kid has asthma or if they would have had it anyway. Lack of control is one of the hardest things about parenting and all we can do is buckle in and enjoy e ride, because it's a beautiful one. Good luck to you and your wife!
 
@anon9000get I was born at 32 weeks in the 80's and was in the NICU for 8 weeks on ventilatory support. I have no residual health issues and will be graduating medical school in four months, now also with a little one of my own on the way. Things have turned out just fine :)

Medical technology and research on premature birth are advancing every day, and I've personally seen babies who survived as early as 26 weeks gestation and have done very well. Modern medicine continues to push that boundary earlier and earlier. At 31 weeks, your baby would be significantly more developed than some of the other babies in the NICU, and 34 weeks is even better. It will be difficult to see your new little one covered in tubes and lines but perhaps try the perspective that those devices are working to keep your baby healthy and safe and are temporary. From personal experience, baby will not remember any part of this. Take time to be with your wife and make sure you create some time for your own self-care as well. Best of luck to all three of you!
 
@anon9000get My son had a birth defect and was born at 35 weeks. He stayed in the NICU 31 days. He is on the smaller side (he was growth restricted) but has no emotional or developmental issues and he’s 3 years old.

It is always going to be scary when it comes to your child being born early. There are so many variables. I was a nervous wreck and I knew my son was going to be premature — there was no way for him to make it to term.

But, just keep the faith and stay positive. Sure, acknowledge there may be some emotional/developmental issues. But there is a very good chance of there being none. Most premature babies have to play catch up and have adjusted ages. But after a year, the mile stones aren’t as important because after a year kids develop differently.

My inbox is always open.
 
@anon9000get My boss was born at 28weeks 40 years ago when that was much closer to the no chance point(the advances we’ve had since are literally astonishing). He is possibly one of the smartest and nicest people I know. He can be a bit of grump(who can’t?) but honestly, I wouldn’t worry because chances are baby will be perfect. A little small and need a little time in hospital, but perfect none the less.
 
@anon9000get You have to be calm around your partner. Freak out and worry away from her and come back to her strong and happy. She needs positive and happy people around her.

My water broke at 21 weeks and I held the kid in until 24 weeks. We were in the NICU for 82 days and if you see him now, you'd never know he was a micropreemie.

Those steroids are a miracle and the medicine in NICUs now are so advanced that kiddos are succeeding and thriving more than the research can catch up. Be positive. Preemies are fighters. They have an unknown source of spunk and energy that is amazing and beautiful. My son was able to lift and turn his head enough to pull his breathing tube out at 28 weeks. They routinely find micropreemies moving from one side of the isolette to the other. It is extraordinary what those doctors, nurses, respiratory therapists, and occupational therapists can do. Your baby will be in great hands. And your baby is stronger than you think.

As far as development goes, if there are problems, the resources available now are amazing. You'll have a team of doctors and development specialists there to help. If there are delays, just remember that every child is different, even full term kids develop on a wide spectrum of time. My preemie is 3 now, he had a mild speech delay but is caught up now. No signs of emotional or sensory issues.

Don't think about what could happen, focus on the here and now. You celebrate every successful day your child stays in her belly. Once he or she is here, you celebrate the weight gain and respiratory advancement. It's much easier and better on your anxiety to focus on small success.

You've got this. Your partner's got this. And most of all your son or daughter is going to do it's upmost best to be a Rockstar and kick some ass.
 
@anon9000get My friend went into early labor at around the same time in the pregnancy. I don’t remember exactly how far along she was but it was about 1-2 weeks before the scheduled baby shower so maybe around 32 weeks. Anyway it was way too early for the baby to come out. She was hospitalized and given steroids. The labor stopped and she was able to go home and carry the baby to full term, and delivered a health baby with very strong lungs.
 
@anon9000get I was born at 33 weeks and a few days. My parents say I stayed in the NICU only a few days.

I was tiny with amd my lungs took a while to fully develop. They had to constantly watch and make sure I am breathing okay. Other than this, I had no health issues growing up, I have a graduate degree and now I am expecting my first child.

A premature birth is always scary but every baby and birth is different. It is possible to have a relatively smooth ending!
 
@anon9000get I was born at 28 weeks.
Have asthma, but symptoms only show up when there is drastic temp changes, respiratory illness, or heavy cardio.
Have ADHD, dropped out of high school, went to college following year, got my Bachelor’s in 3 years.
Was treated for ADHD six months when I was 17, and six months when I was 27. The struggle is real and I make constant detail-oriented mistakes, but I’m determined to keep moving forward.
I’m a manager of a group home; none of my people were premature.
 
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