Why should I not let my baby “use me as a human pacifier”

[yoshinat0r]

My baby is finally wanting something to suck on. (9+ weeks) He hasn’t cared much for the pacifier, but we’ve tried since week one, and continue to do so. He will take to it maybe once a day. He just recently started getting his hand to his mouth, but I’d honestly rather him not get into the habit of sucking his thumb, only because I’ve heard how hard it is to break that habit later on. Of course if it happens, it happens.

We EBF, and he recently has started to suckle as if it were a pacifier, for about 20 minutes into his sleep. I don’t mind it. It seems natural and healthy. I’m trying to figure out if one day I will regret it, seeing as there’s so much against it on the internet, but I can’t really figure out why. Should I really not allow him to non-nutritive nurse on me?

 

[miminonoko]

@yoshinat0r You are not a human pacifier, the pacifier is a plastic you.

 

[morgana]

@miminonoko 100 this. Babies are designed be to comforted by their mother’s breasts.

 

[smta]

@miminonoko I just like that this sounds like a life coach line

 

[miminonoko]

@smta Printing out my comment and taping it to my bathroom mirror

 

[andybrooks]

@yoshinat0r The only reason not to is if you don’t want to it’s perfectly fine to do and perfectly normal for baby to want to. As long as you are cool with it, it’s fine.

 

[patersonchristian]

@andybrooks Yup. It’s a lifestyle choice, not a health choice.

Negatives

• Mom gets fewer breaks from comforting baby
• It can be overstimulating for mom

Positives

• Mom always has a way to comfort baby
• No need to buy or sterilize pacifiers

I’m a huge fan of “Do what works until it doesn’t, then do something else.” Now-toddler used me as a human pacifier until he developmentally outgrew the need, at which point he stopped. He still comfort-nurses when he’s sick or going through big transitions, and I’m happy to keep providing that comfort.

 

[cutin]

@yoshinat0r There's basically no reason to prevent this behaviour, and it could even be beneficial for him to do it, since despite the name "non nutritive" they do get some small amount of breastmilk from doing it. It's also helpful in terms of stimulating your supply - largely irrelevant at this point in time, but doesn't hurt - and it's (apparently) regulating to the baby's nervous system.

The main reason that it seems to be advised against is because of discouraging feeding to sleep. If you're happy to feed to sleep (also fine to do) then there's no reason at all to prevent non nutritive sucking. The only other reason that I can think of that people would be against it is if they are used to the norm of a bottle and give breastfeeding advice based on an idea that a breast is basically exactly the same as a bottle of milk, which it is not, so advice in this vein generally doesn't make sense and can sometimes be harmful to breastfeeding.

In some countries (e.g. UK) a pacifier is called a dummy, ie, a false or substitute version of something. False version of what? Well, a nipple of course! So the phrase "he's using you as a dummy" is literally nonsensical - he's using your real nipple as a.... fake nipple?

 

[nezsruiz]

@yoshinat0r It never occurred to me that this could be a bad thing. Breastfeeding is for comfort as well as food. As long as you’re happy with it and it’s not causing you discomfort or messing with your sleep or whatever.

In the UK we call pacifiers dummies, which I recently learned means ‘dummy nipple’. You’re not a human pacifier; pacifiers are replacement nipples (I have nothing against pacifiers, but that’s literally what they’re for).

 

[goldandsilver]

@yoshinat0r Stuff like this comes up all the time in parenting-related subreddits: is it okay to nurse to sleep, do I have to sleep train, is it okay to always rock my baby to sleep, etc. Ultimately, in the vast majority of situations, the “harm” is that it can end up being wildly inconvenient/exhausting/otherwise challenging for the parent to nurse or rock or shake or soothe the kid to sleep every time. If that doesn’t bother you, and your kid is getting sufficient sleep, I’m not aware of any drawbacks. As others have said, you can always change your mind later and use various techniques to transition away from this habit.

 

[greg1234]

@yoshinat0r I’m studying to be a lactation consultant and NNS (non-nutritive suckling) is totally fine and developmentally appropriate for this age. It also helps to develop the baby’s oral cavity and build up muscle to strengthen their suck for actual BF

 

[mella]

@greg1234 This is the answer.

You may have to break the habit in the future but sometimes things that won’t work long term still serve a purpose in the short term.

In my book the more you have a nipple in a mouth the more in sync you are with each other.

 

[oml]

@greg1234 Oooh, thank you for posting an answer. On this same track… any clues for why a 9 week baby sucks more efficiently at bottle vs breast (over 60 min per feed vs 20 mins)? Has been affecting my son’s sleep, lactation consultant had no ideas so hoping at the moment a cranial osteopath consult will help…

 

[greg1234]

@oml I am not an IBCLC yet but it could be a number of things. The flow of the bottle could be faster so they’re eating faster. If the hole of the bottle nipple is big enough it could just be coming out in a steady stream so they don’t have to use a lot of sucking to get a good flow. My thoughts would be to try using a nipple shield to see if that helps. Or do some breast massaging / squeezing while feeding to try to up the flow. I would also do NNS either on the breast or with a pacifier to try to build those muscles so they can feed more effectively at the breast

 

[oml]

@greg1234 Thanks so much, very helpful!

 

[arvell00]

@yoshinat0r Our daughter was a day old and was comfort nursing, one of the lactation consultants said, “she doesn’t need to use you as a pacifier.” She said it in a tone that made her seem annoyed at my one day old and then unlatched her. She never gave a reason. I was too out of it at the time to even really process the interaction but now I think back on how unnecessary and rude it was.

 

[mollymorano]

@arvell00 And how else do you stimulate milk production. Some people are in the wrong profession.

 

[yoshinat0r]

@arvell00 Wow that is upsetting! I get so angry with unhelpful nurses/doctors in labor and postpartum. It’s such a big moment for new moms. They can really make such a big impact and so many are just so careless.

 

[katrina2017]

@yoshinat0r This is just my experience. But I had a baby who nursed all night, every night. She would wake more than hourly, like every 30-45 minutes. And of course she wanted to snack all day. She was a terrible sleeper (as you might have guessed haha) so we didn't make her rinse her mouth each time or none of us would ever sleep at all. I just let her nurse and go back to sleep.

We just had to have her put under general anesthesia a couple months ago and have over half of her baby teeth removed due to extreme decay. Most of the rest were root canaled and capped. She came through fine but I have never had so much guilt and regret over something I allowed to happen to one of my children.

I'm not saying this outcome is inevitable but I also saw no harm in it when it was happening, and I was wrong. If your baby gets teeth, you should at least rinse his mouth after night feeds. There seems to be a myth that breastmilk won't harm teeth. I assure you it can.

 

[seekingwanderer]

@katrina2017 Anecdotal, but I am a teacher and was talking to the mother of one of my 5 year olds a couple weeks ago and she said almost this exact same thing. Her daughter had to have over half her teeth removed due to this type of breastfeeding.