Why should I not let my baby “use me as a human pacifier”

[yoshinat0r]

My baby is finally wanting something to suck on. (9+ weeks) He hasn’t cared much for the pacifier, but we’ve tried since week one, and continue to do so. He will take to it maybe once a day. He just recently started getting his hand to his mouth, but I’d honestly rather him not get into the habit of sucking his thumb, only because I’ve heard how hard it is to break that habit later on. Of course if it happens, it happens.

We EBF, and he recently has started to suckle as if it were a pacifier, for about 20 minutes into his sleep. I don’t mind it. It seems natural and healthy. I’m trying to figure out if one day I will regret it, seeing as there’s so much against it on the internet, but I can’t really figure out why. Should I really not allow him to non-nutritive nurse on me?

 

[miminonoko]

@yoshinat0r You are not a human pacifier, the pacifier is a plastic you.

 

[morgana]

@miminonoko 100 this. Babies are designed be to comforted by their mother’s breasts.

 

[smta]

@miminonoko I just like that this sounds like a life coach line

 

[miminonoko]

@smta Printing out my comment and taping it to my bathroom mirror

 

[andybrooks]

@yoshinat0r The only reason not to is if you don’t want to it’s perfectly fine to do and perfectly normal for baby to want to. As long as you are cool with it, it’s fine.

 

[patersonchristian]

@andybrooks Yup. It’s a lifestyle choice, not a health choice.

Negatives

• Mom gets fewer breaks from comforting baby
• It can be overstimulating for mom

Positives

• Mom always has a way to comfort baby
• No need to buy or sterilize pacifiers

I’m a huge fan of “Do what works until it doesn’t, then do something else.” Now-toddler used me as a human pacifier until he developmentally outgrew the need, at which point he stopped. He still comfort-nurses when he’s sick or going through big transitions, and I’m happy to keep providing that comfort.

 

[cutin]

@yoshinat0r There's basically no reason to prevent this behaviour, and it could even be beneficial for him to do it, since despite the name "non nutritive" they do get some small amount of breastmilk from doing it. It's also helpful in terms of stimulating your supply - largely irrelevant at this point in time, but doesn't hurt - and it's (apparently) regulating to the baby's nervous system.

The main reason that it seems to be advised against is because of discouraging feeding to sleep. If you're happy to feed to sleep (also fine to do) then there's no reason at all to prevent non nutritive sucking. The only other reason that I can think of that people would be against it is if they are used to the norm of a bottle and give breastfeeding advice based on an idea that a breast is basically exactly the same as a bottle of milk, which it is not, so advice in this vein generally doesn't make sense and can sometimes be harmful to breastfeeding.

In some countries (e.g. UK) a pacifier is called a dummy, ie, a false or substitute version of something. False version of what? Well, a nipple of course! So the phrase "he's using you as a dummy" is literally nonsensical - he's using your real nipple as a.... fake nipple?

 

[nezsruiz]

@yoshinat0r It never occurred to me that this could be a bad thing. Breastfeeding is for comfort as well as food. As long as you’re happy with it and it’s not causing you discomfort or messing with your sleep or whatever.

In the UK we call pacifiers dummies, which I recently learned means ‘dummy nipple’. You’re not a human pacifier; pacifiers are replacement nipples (I have nothing against pacifiers, but that’s literally what they’re for).

 

[goldandsilver]

@yoshinat0r Stuff like this comes up all the time in parenting-related subreddits: is it okay to nurse to sleep, do I have to sleep train, is it okay to always rock my baby to sleep, etc. Ultimately, in the vast majority of situations, the “harm” is that it can end up being wildly inconvenient/exhausting/otherwise challenging for the parent to nurse or rock or shake or soothe the kid to sleep every time. If that doesn’t bother you, and your kid is getting sufficient sleep, I’m not aware of any drawbacks. As others have said, you can always change your mind later and use various techniques to transition away from this habit.

 

[greg1234]

@yoshinat0r I’m studying to be a lactation consultant and NNS (non-nutritive suckling) is totally fine and developmentally appropriate for this age. It also helps to develop the baby’s oral cavity and build up muscle to strengthen their suck for actual BF

 

[mella]

@greg1234 This is the answer.

You may have to break the habit in the future but sometimes things that won’t work long term still serve a purpose in the short term.

In my book the more you have a nipple in a mouth the more in sync you are with each other.