When did boyfriend sleepovers become a thing

[musicman61]

@ajhnh Yea it's not in thing in my parent circle. Not happening

 

[justme12345678910]

@ajhnh My daughter will be 16 in August and is on the pill for the same reason.. I allowed her to go on a ski trip with her boyfriend and his family at Christmas but sleeping over in the house I don't think I'm there yet. She actually just asked me if her friend and her friend's boyfriend could come over this evening while I'm gone and I said no boys in the house when I'm gone. Maybe I'm too strict I don't know.

 

[ohageman5]

@justme12345678910 Not too strict. You're good.

 

[godoy3774]

@ajhnh For my house, it’s not allowed in high school.

 

[christiananon]

@ajhnh I put my 15 year old on the pill (she also had bad acne which this helped immensely), gave her condoms, taught her how to use them, let her go to her boyfriend’s house whenever she wants as long as a parent is home, made friends with her boyfriend’s mom so we go to their house as a family and stay late on a regular basis, their family is talking about inviting her to go along on a future family vacation…

…but the moms still agree no sleepovers.

 

[ohageman5]

@ajhnh This would be a hard no from me. They may already be having sex, but that doesn't mean you have to allow the sleep overs. She's on birth control. Maybe consider also providing condoms for additional STD protection.

 

[jjcarenthusiast]

@ajhnh This is not the norm at my kids’ school AT ALL. They still have to sneak around, haha.

I would for sure not allow this, whether that makes me old-fashioned or not.

 

[tomvalois]

@ajhnh No fucking way.

 

[osnova]

@ajhnh I am against and not just because of sex. As others have said teens who want to have sex will. We are asking kids to be in mature relationships too early. These sleepovers force a level of maturity into a very young relationship that shouldn’t be there. My middle school daughter’s friend went on a vacation with her boyfriend and family. Why force that kind of level of relationship on 14 year olds?!? Let them be kids.

 

[pastorjdh]

@ajhnh Your friends are speedrunning becoming grandparents.

 

[opupi]

@pastorjdh Exactly!

Finally, someone said it.

 

[middaysun]

@ajhnh Geezus no way that will ever happen in my house and mine knows it. Not even on the radar.

When mine is out and on her own, then she can do whatever. I guess I’m really old-fashioned and a mean mom…but oh well. Too bad too sad. But she’ll thank me later.

 

[dariush]

@ajhnh This seems to be a common thing in my daughter’s friend group, but not in my mom friend circle. To hear her tell it, I’m the only parent in the world that is being unreasonable and doesn’t allow it

 

[poisedjade]

@ajhnh no way in a million years + surprised other parents allow at that age! it's one thing for him to come over and hang out in TV room, way different than a sleep over, you are not being old fashioned at all!

 

[giamfreeg]

@ajhnh I’m going against the grain and say that if they are going to have sex, they’re going to have it anyway. The way we approach sex ed in this country, there are also questions towards the parents, whether they can provide privacy and a safe space for the teenagers so that they don’t have to do it in unsafe circumstances. I also think it’s the parents’ role to ensure access to contraception

In my country age of consent is 16. They can also buy wine and beer at any store at 16 (hard liquor is from 18 onwards)

I have a 16yo boy and he’s not dating or at least I don’t know about it. If he had asked me the question at 15, I would have probably discussed it with the hypothetical GF’s parents but at 16 I think I would be ok with it

But he’s still quite innocent this way. Despite the legal drinking age, at his birthday party there was no alcohol at all. It’s obvious we have some at home but no one asked for it and for sure I didn’t propose any

 

[nmc]

@ajhnh I’ve been reading a book about parenting the new generation, and its main point is that your teen will do EVERYTHING. Whether or not you will be their backup is up to you. They will have sex regardless of you allowing sleepovers. So your really picking “hide it from me and do it at the park or somewhere even less safe” or your house

Also, I’d hard agree with not allowing the sleepover but my parenting mentality has been shook up recently and I’ve learned a lot of my mistakes as a young parent.

 

[dqueen]

@ajhnh My 19-year-old daughter still lives at home, and we wouldn't have her boyfriend over for a sleepover in her room.

15?! Absolutely the F not. I say stick to your guns.

Good luck, Mama!

 

[syndiseok]

@dqueen I’m so happy to hear this about the 19 year old.

For me, it’s less about sex and more about respecting the rules of the house. There’s just certain things that aren’t necessary.

I remember at 21, visiting my ex-boyfriend’s parents and meeting them for the first time. We had to sleep in separate rooms.

I know to some it doesn’t make sense and it’s just too hard to put it into words but as a parent I totally get it and expect the same in our home.

 

[michaelo]

@ajhnh I guess it would depend on the child, but in general, I do not think I would allow anything like this until they were like seniors, and heading off to college anyway. Fifteen seems young to me.

I have read more and more social media posts about this; I think it is sort of a side effect of the helicopter, constant surveillance, and safety movement — that basically parents know kids are having sex anyway, and rather than having the kid parked somewhere in the back of a vehicle or risking public indecency, some parents just want to give them a safe space…

I have mixed feelings. Fortunately, my teen boys have never wanted to do this, and knock on wood I cannot foresee it in the near future either.