What’s so special about months 6-12 trying unassisted?

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bella304

New member
Link to answer in the comments by @tjphipps - Leaving post up in case someone else needs to be pointed in the same direction.

Hello! My partner (25M) and I (29F) will have been trying 6 months (confirming O, OPKs, I have regular cycles, AMH 3.0ng/ml, Normal TSH/t4 free, normal prolactin - IUD use of 71 months after 5 years of BCP/Nuvaring) when this months cycle is inevitably also unsuccessful. I know it can take a year, but with so many people around me getting pregnant in the first 3-5 months of trying I’m REALLY not sold on the “try for a year” thing. It SEEMS to me like if you’re going to get pregnant unassisted, it’s going to happen in the first 6 months. Sure, there’s a small chance it could still happen before a year, but if you’re like me and you waited to try until you were 100% ready, that reduced chance in the last 6 months is not worth the stress that we all know comes with TTC.

This is not a negative Nancy post - I’m just really curious what’s so special about giving it six more months versus us going ahead and seeing the RE at the end of august. I, of course, have had ALL the testing and everything is normal. My husband wanted to wait a year to get an SA but after seeing how reduced the chances are after 6 months, I basically made this appointment to make him go ahead and get one.

If anyone has any info on this that’s more science-y, I’d LOVE to hear it! Is it a lining thing after being on birth control? Is it stress/do I want it TOO BAD?(this is a joke) is it egg quality? I’ve read ALL the BFP posts, all the wikis, and listening to ALL the podcasts but I can’t seem to find info on that middle ground - it’s all either super quick pregnancy or pursuing treatment.

I hope I’m making sense - y’all have been so helpful in the past for me!
 
@bella304 Part of it is most infertility will not have a reason as to why. So going in for in depth testing can be expensive just for them to say IDK what is wrong. By giving it a year you weed out more people who actually don’t have infertility.
 
@tjphipps Son of a gun!! Where was this hiding? I SWEAR I read the wiki all the time. This was perfect thank you!! I’m going to leave my post up in case someone needs to be directed to that post.

Thank you!!
 
@bella304 I am not as anti-testing before the year mark as some others are, so I’m not going to tell you not to get testing done. If you feel like it will help with any anxieties about conceiving, and you are fine with paying for it, I say go for it.

But the reality is that guideline exists because if it takes eight months, or ten or eleven, to get pregnant - there is nothing “wrong” and that’s completely normal. And I believe you are also still more likely to get pregnant in the next six months than you are to not.

I think the main reason is just that fertility testing and treatment is invasive and it can be incredibly expensive, and it’s not a good use of anyone’s resources (including fertility clinics that are often operating at capacity), for you to go through all of that until you have an infertility diagnosis.

Trust me, I know how frustrating it can be once you are past the six month mark. Also trust me that waiting another six months is worth it if you can avoid all the shit I’m currently dealing with for infertility treatment. Hang in there and good luck!
 
@alexaorza Thank you so much for your response. Your last comment:

trust me that waiting another six months is worth it if you can avoid all the shit I’m currently dealing with for infertility treatment.
Click to expand...

is what I'm trying to decide. In reality, my husband's testing would ease a lot of my anxiety. Thank you again for your response, I sincerely hope your treatments give you what you're hoping for.
 
@bella304 I think it’s totally legitimate to do all blood testing for you and SA for your husband at six months. That’s what we did, and I justified it by the fact that I was almost 34 and my husband was already 35 but I’d probably have done it regardless. That said, if we’d found nothing wrong I would have probably waited the extra six months to seek treatment. After more than a year of fertility treatment I am still unexplained. I’ve had more tests than you can imagine, and many IVF procedures that are considered diagnostic. Everything always looks “perfect”. My husband’s SA initially came back low, so we made an appointment with an RE right after we found out. though his parameters eventually improved we continued to not find success and decided to move to IVF. I think you can take a compromise position of doing all the non invasive testing, plus maybe an HSG, and then if everything is normal giving yourself some more months. It could just be bad luck, and the success rates for IUI aren’t that much better than for regular sex.
 
@bella304 Testing to relieve anxiety isn’t a great reason to test. I have come up completely unexplained and am still not pregnant. I have also seen many people with abysmal results (including someone who was about to get their tubes removed because they were “blocked”) get pregnant in the 12 month frame.
 
@bella304 There's a pretty good argument, either way. There is data that supports waiting 12 months, but there is are also scientific papers in which REs are proposing moving it down to 6 months prior to age 35. It just depends on what you would do with the information. If you wanted to go down the IUI or ovulation induction road earlier, you can absolutely find a doctor who would help. Not everyone has tons of time, personally I have to be off life saving medication to try so I am more likely to seek help after 3 months and no doctor would refuse me. Every woman has a right to know her AMH level, and get general hormone testing if she wants it even if she isn't trying just to get insights in to her health. I predict that will become more common in the future. I also think any man has a right to know his sperm analysis. It's a personal decision. 12 months is a guideline and everyone is individual.
 
@katrina2017 Thank you. My type A planner self is being totally rocked by this journey and I'm trying to balance "learning to be patient" with doing what I need to do for my personality type to be able to sleep at night.
 
@bella304 I think some of the less invasive testing could be done earlier in conjunction with continuing to try. Then by the time you hit a year, you have blood tests and a semen analysis done and can move forward if needed. After 9 months of trying, we started the blood work and semen analysis and found out my husband has zero sperm. Trying another three months would have been entirely useless for us. Obviously, this is a very extreme case but I think it's worth mentioning. I wish we could have had that done sooner because it's such an easy test, why would you not? Even just as peace of mind that there's nothing major blocking your chances.
 
@nelson9 Thank you for this. Going onto month 9… this might be a silly question, where would my husband go to get a semen analysis? His primary care provider?
 
@hiev Yes, that's what we did. Not sure about US Insurance, but from what I've heard I don't believe it's overly expensive if you do have to pay out of pocket.

I hope you're able to get what you need!
 
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