We are about to have baby #2 and I’m really nervous about the transition from 1 to 2

[junesepa]

Hey dads. So we already have a beautiful girl who is about to turn 2yo. My wife is currently pregnant with our second girl and she’s due early April.

I feel like I finally got the swing of things raising a toddler and being a fully present dad. I work away from home 9 hours of the day and when I’m home I try and be as present as I can and eventually take some time to myself of spend it with my wife after our girl goes to bed. She finally (kinda) started sleeping better and we have about 2-3 hours a night to ourselves.

Baby #2 is coming soon and I’m really scared of the transition to two. I feel like our hands are already so full. We don’t live close to family. My mother in law lives in the same complex as us but she really isn’t much help. I plan to take about a month or 2 of paid leave (new Oregon law) but I’m still terrified. My wife will be alone with them after I go back to work and in a way I’m scared for her too.

Would anyone mind giving me some pointers? What to expect, etc.

 

[deminutio]

@junesepa I’ll say that going from 1 -> 2 was a lot easier than going from 0->1. You already know what you’re doing as a parent and just need to make some minor adjustments.

It’s a ROUGH infanthood, but it’s so much fun when they get older and start playing together with your first born. Just make sure your first knows that they aren’t being “replaced” by their younger sibling.

My kids are 4 and 2, and I often grin and tear up when I hear them having full conversations together.

 

[incimesih]

@deminutio Mine are 2 years apart too. I agree with the transition from 0-1 being waaaay harder.

You already have all the gear, you already basically know the generic stuff to expect. When hard stuff happens you'll feel like a vet instead of a rookie.

Your new kid will be awesome and will add love to the house.

 

[pinningcombo]

@junesepa Been in this exact situation with my 2 daughters. Here’s how things went for me;

• The transition from 1 to 2 is pretty tough mentally, I felt like my newest born was intruding in our little family unit we had. However I’ve always been more sensitive to suffering from poor mental health.
• I forgot how tough newborns can be, so it was a difficult time for us, lack of sleep, not to mention that she was a diva who was a very needy baby, she was never satisfied and always hungry or wanted attention. Lockdown babies born during COVID had it more harder unfortunately.
• I couldn’t spend as much time with my oldest due to caring for my youngest.

BUT

• The above is irrelevant in the long term because once they’re out of the newborn stage, you will absolutely love having two daughters.
• Sisters are best friends, my two daughters absolutely worship each other, they’re not only sisters, but best friends, it’s amazing to see their relationship and bond progress.
• I wouldn’t change it for the world, if anything, I’m sad that my girls are growing up very fast, I’d do anything to go through the last 8 years again, enjoy every single moment of being a dad to two girls.