Visitors immediately post c-section

[howard1955]

@cbmiller Depends who it is. After my second c section, I was so out of it. In a daze, throwing up, basically naked. Lol but our moms were there. The only people I was truly comfortable with there and maybe my sister and niece. But anyone else would’ve had to wait. Lol post c section is rough.

 

[ezzeking]

@cbmiller No it’s absolutely not unreasonable. Hold your boundary. He’s also a visitor in your room and can be removed if he can’t be respectful.

 

[homeonline]

@cbmiller My hospital revised their visitor policy in a post Covid world… they only allow a max of 2 adults at a time, including a support person (my husband), so really we can only have one adult per visit and only from 9AM-9PM.

So if baby girl ends up being delivered after 9PM? That means a visitor won’t be able to come for at least 12 hours and they certainly are not allowed to wait (as they also only allow one support person with you and do not allow visitors to wait).

Might be worth looking into your hospital’s policy and maybe scheduling the C-devotion toward the visitor cut-off time?

 

[cbmiller]

@homeonline I have a feeling it’s 14:00 till 19:00 or 20:00. I also know it’s only two visitors at a time, but I wasn’t aware if that included my partner.

 

[outlawingrace]

@cbmiller I was just in my diaper and bandage for the whole day after my c-section and threw up four times. No one needs to see that.

 

[jesuslover90]

@cbmiller Yeah, this literally IS about you. You’re the one going through all the work birthing this baby. You decide what you’re comfortable with in the immediate aftermath. My partner is an only child with quite an overbearing mother, and I’m so thankful for his support on my decision on this. Hopefully he can see your side and stop with the bullshit.

 

[facebookbrett44]

@cbmiller How is it that men during pregnancy think they have the right to be more sensitive than us pregnant hormonal women are allowed to be? Sorry your struggling with your mil. Mine is in your face and very anxiety inducing as well.

 

[gidgetis1st]

@cbmiller That is a tricky situation. I was grateful I told my husband that when we have our baby I don't want visitors until a day later so we have time with the baby and each other alone and also for me to rest and spend time with baby. I also do not want anyone other than family at the hospital. Everyone else can wait. Siblings, parents, and maybe grandparents only. He told me he was expecting to have our parents waiting but is fine because I'm the one having the baby and they can just come the next day after I've slept a bit and bonded some with baby.

I also said I would like to go home alone (Just the three of us no visitors) and have 1-2 weeks of adjusting. Then once he goes back to work my mom, sister, aunt, and his mom are welcome to come help take care of chores so I can be with baby and watch the baby while I shower, get ready, use the bathroom, nap, etc.

 

[noscentia]

@cbmiller It's not selfish at all. Both our parents worked and I was scheduled early morning so we had basically all afternoon to ourselves before getting visitors. I definitely think it was best because once all the adrenaline went away I did take a nap which was well needed. We had some family come near the evening and didn't overstay their welcome. It was great. That's completely reasonable to expect some time to yourself it's not like you're saying no visitors at all. & even if you wanted no visitors that's still completely valid.

 

[mhikl]

@cbmiller My parents wanted to be there 1 week after birth (not even the day after) and I said no.

And after I actually had my c-section I can confidently say I am so happy I asked them to wait. Honestly that first week I was a mess. I was basically walking around in a nursing bra, maybe a shirt, and adult diapers. I absolutely did not want to wear pants unless I had to, and the adult diapers were super comfortable. I would not have wanted anyone to see that, I barely even like that my husband had to see it but I’m pretty sure he was too tired to care .

The only help I would have wanted would have been for someone to drop off food and immediately leave, so my poor husband wouldn’t have had to cook while also being exhausted himself from being my nurse . (We live in a 2-story house and it was hard for me to go up and down stairs, so I tried to stay in the bedroom most of the time)

 

[latenights]

@cbmiller Ugh. I’m sorry. It is your and his baby, but it’s your body. I had a c-section and the hours after are such a blur. I had a catheter in for 18 hours, and I was nauseous and vomited when we got to our room after surgery. You need to give yourself space to process, heal, etc. before considering visitors. I had visitors too soon at home (like my very helpful parents sleeping there) and it was frustrating because I was desperately trying to breastfeed and it wasn’t as easy to do as it would have been if it were just me and my husband at home.

Let him pout, you are most important here. Of course baby is too but it’s a lot on you, it’s major surgery. You both need to be ready before visitors.

 

[audreykate]

@cbmiller I shook so bad from the epidural, I couldn’t hold my daughter for over an hour post surgery. I needed hours to get myself together.. I would never let anyone in post surgery other than my husband! Stand your ground! It’s so ridiculous to expect visitors are ok that fast after a c section.

 

[silencio]

@cbmiller You are right, it's all about baby. My hospital advised no visitors during golden hour after c-section. We are expected to be in the hospital for 48 hours if all is well. Day one we are only having one visitor and I have asked for her not to come until mid day

 

[danmtz]

@cbmiller Anyway you could have a heart to heart with his mother and explain your reasoning and that you really need to feel supported on this? Obviously if she lacks awareness it won’t work and I wouldn’t recommend it. But sounds like my MIL and sometimes I just tell her how I need it to be and she does actually understand and follow through. Might be worth a try.

 

[jsharl]

@cbmiller He can have a human come through seven layers of his body after hosting it for 9months am shave visitors right away for that. Until they perfect that science it’s entirely up to YOU.

I’m personally all for visitors and yet I’ll still be waiting until I’m ready because with my first they were cleaning up down there then left us alone then came back and did lots more checks down there. My boobs were just out to the world for a good 6 hours.

It’s up to you and you alone. Have him voice him opinion at your next OB appt.

 

[barkley705]

@cbmiller Mama’s boy needs to grow up.
It is in fact entirely about you and the baby and he just needs to get used to it.
His mother can wait just like everyone else has to go see the baby AT HOME.

 

[mattbrown1022]

@cbmiller For me, I was excited to show the baby off and again, for me, I was in the best spirits while I was still doped up lol. I had parents and siblings all to the hospital in the first day or two. In the days and weeks afterwards it would have been very difficult for me to deal with people I don't care for, but needed a lot of support from my mom.

I understand dads are excited too and want to share with their family as well, but having been through it, the first little bit is so crucial for healing and bonding that if something is going to disturb your peace--dont do it!

 

[cozmoe]

@cbmiller Yeah you will regret it big time if you back down and let her come. As others have suggested, inform the hospital you will not accept visitors, they will handle it so well. Then let your husband sulk & deal with him later. My MIL showed up to the hospital the evening I gave birth (my partner didnt let her come in). Usually I would be so upset/angry & would dwell on it but I had my baby in my arms and it just completely distracted me in the moment. Dont let anyone domineer over you. You matter and your feelings are 100% priority right now. It's all about you and this baby. Everything else is secondary.

 

[drumr295]

@cbmiller Honestly… I would move back in with your parents and have the c section without telling him. It sounds drastic but his behaviour is worrying. He’s gaslighting you and demonstrating he doesn’t care about your needs, wants or boundaries. Long term - it sounds like you’ll have an easier time raising this child without him than with him.

 

[chris11376]

@cbmiller My mum comes in after about a hour after I'm out of surgery and into my ward room she comes with all my other kids she's the main baby sitter she'll be there again as soon as I'm in my room....my parents in law live a plane ride away they come in a couple of weeks to a month to see the new baby....I never really asked my husband if it was alright my mum shows up so quickly she just does it I'm her baby in the end she wants to check up on me