VENT I was just a bitch to my 16 year old daughter.

[vonhelton]

@jfp75 Hahaha exactly what I would say.

 

[angelanguyen]

@jfp75 Ever see a momma dog snarl at one of her puppies for working her last ever-loving canine nerve? I get how those dogs feel. Sometimes you have had enough and need to snarl back!

 

[kimberly72]

@jfp75 If you responded in a less than mature fashion to what sounds like repeated disregard and disrespect, use it as an opportunity to model apologizing for inappropriate responses.

Moving forward, It sounds like you might need to establish some boundaries to help you feel less used/disrespected by your teen.

It is always ok to say "I love you and enjoy doing things for you, but I don't like the way you are treating me/please check your tone/attitude etc. if you want me to continue ______."

Ask for clear communication of times she wants a ride. A calendar can help clear up the uncertainty of "did you tell me 6:30 or ????"

I have, when tired or sick, made a priority of my need for rest over my teens desire to do something. Unless it is a school/sport related activity, I reserve the right to say no to providing transportation. Sometimes my teen isn't thrilled but my own mental capacity benefits.

From time to time, I will say "no" to transporting and site the chronic neglect of a chore (what I want help with) as the reason. Basically: when you repeatedly ignore my clear communications asking for help, I don't feel obligated to give you my time transporting you to a place you don't absolutely need to be.

 

[emmer123]

@jfp75 Choose your battles here. I’m surprised you have people here telling you to let this stuff go. Maybe some of it, but definitely not all. This is what I call parental abuse in my house.

I think you need to bend less for her. You can say “no” or “not now” if she demands a ride without a heads up on time. Why don’t you tell her from now on she needs to ask you at least 4 hours in advance? You allowed yourself to feel pressured by her. You shouldn’t allow that any more. You get to say no. If she’s being annoying you get to say, “you’re being annoying!” I think you kind of let her bully you and then you unleashed. It sounds like you went overboard. You’re not the only parent that has yelled at their kid.

I’ve had the issue with my teen forgetting the lock also. I told my teen to promise me out loud that she will always lock the door and double check it. I made her say it twice. If you want to be more strict, you can tell her this time she gets a warning, next time she forgets, she has to pay you $50 or something. Your home could have been robbed.

The cheesesteak I would have let go.

 

[solvej]

@emmer123 It is easier said than done to have someone treating you like that and remain calm!

 

[jocelynvenus]

@jfp75 I feel you. Teenagers are SO INCONSIDERATE and self-centered. It's mind-boggling sometimes.

 

[crystalcoffee]

@jfp75 I don’t condone being a bitch to your kids, but we’re human and teen’s definitely push buttons so we’ll all slip at some point. I also believe like others that these in themselves are naturally occurring consequences for teens that pushing peoples buttons can cause them harm.

 

[linastewards]

@jfp75 No advice, but I'm right there with you. I just want to scream "would it hurt you to be nice about it?" Especially if she forgets to say something, whoever shes talking forgot, it was never her. It didn't use to be like this... None of her siblings are like this. I feel like I failed somewhere.

 

[olsi]

@jfp75 Well I'm not so good at the parenting thing with my own kids due to very uncommon circumstances beyond my control. But I did my best with other significant other's kids. For 1 the ( I'm probably older than some here) past few generations there's been a change in the teens of today & way different from when we were teens ourselves. Changes in the world also. But if ya think back to when you were a teenager I'm sure there were times when you were told the same thing over more than once cause ur head was some where else or you felt it wasn't that much of a deal. Security purposes is a very important thing thou. But in a kids life that every day is the same as they feel secure because of their parents.
The whole attitude thing is & this is where I refer us back to when we were teens once too & had a 'tude because of 1 or 3 things. Or because of being rode over the same thing over & over : Like Get Off My Back Already. This probably isn't helpful & is probably pissing more than you off all I'm saying is things & teens aren't the same as when we were. And to also put some hard thoughts into when you were that age & I'm sure you will see you were a little attitudity & forgetful. Instead of coming back with just as much attitude or anger take a breath and try and find the reason for the attitude etc . As for the teen getting what said teen gets whatever at the drop of a hat & you going out of ur way to make it happen. ( An this is only a suggestion) Make it known that this is very inconsiderable of the the kid & for every time it happens there's going to be a penalty for it. For every action there's a reaction like loss of something of the kid or if the kid has been looking forward to going somewhere specific like school event or concerts i e : I'm positive you know what I'm getting at. Yes ? If this doesn't work then I guess it's back to an old fashioned spank that ass to bring said teen back down to earth. Within reason of course. But I truly do hope this lengthy comment helps in some ways. And like I said I may not be right as far as advice because I wasn't a parent to my own kids. But the kids I was a parent to back when they were kids they didn't turn out to bad. Respectfully me