Using TCB’s S.I.T.B.A.C.K feels like the same night over and over again. Will it get better?

[kingdomincreseguy]

We’ve been using the sitback method on our 9 week old since she was about 4 weeks. We saw some progress in the beginning but about two weeks ago her bedtime changed from 10/11pm to 6:30/7:30pm which she seems to like much more. Once she changed bedtimes, we decided to add a dream feed 3 hrs after bedtime.

Now every night is almost exactly the same, with baby sleeping no more than 4.5 hrs after the dream feed and me having to do sit back for 3+ hours in the night. It looks something like this:

Bed - 7;

Dream Feed - 10;

First wake/sit back - 2:30 (falls asleep at B or A);

Second wake - 3:45;

Then i do sit back on & off until I finally feed her; each day I add 15 min. Last night was 5:30.

This schedule has been exactly the same for about a week, just with the feed time stretching out slowly every day. It’s starting to feel pointless since she does the same thing anyways.

Should I stick with it?

Should I keep extending her feed time until I get to her wake time of 6:30?

Would it help if we do a later dream feed like at midnight?

 

[rorylion]

@kingdomincreseguy I had a similar question and emailed support and they said even if you haven't "beaten the record" feed after 30 minutes. LO will eventually get the hang of it (I hope! Ours did! Until the 4 mo regression but we won't talk about that lol yours is already past when ours had hers early so maybe you'll luck out). So SITBACK until you've gone 15 m past the previous "record" OR 30 m has passed.

 

[showtime2507]

@kingdomincreseguy This is pretty much verbatim what is happening with our 3 month old. He fights his sleep sack and wakes us up sucking his hands and kicking his feet. I don’t think he’s hungry — we load him up during the dream feed — he just seems restless and wants to be held. I thought it might be sleep regression but I have more questions than answers. (He isn’t sleeping “independently” yet though we are working on it.)

 

[katrina2017]

@kingdomincreseguy I think it's normal that your baby is hungry at 3-4am if your last feed is at 10pm. I would try sit back once and then feed baby. I wouldn't try to push it until 6am.
Or try feeding baby later (like midnight).

 

[holly957]

@kingdomincreseguy I think Cara has a time limit on how long to do SITBACK for. I also thought you were only supposed to do it once then feed. If you purchased the course you can email them and ask questions. They will encourage you to a call but will still answer your questions.

 

[essell]

@kingdomincreseguy Personally, at that age I would be trying SITBACK for a short time and then feeding, rather than trying to extend them out. If nothing else works to get them back to sleep, it sounds to me like they are waking because they’re hungry. It’s not unusual for a baby that age to need a feed around 3-4am.

 

[seekinganswersinlife]

@kingdomincreseguy I remember this stage so so vividly (my son is 4 mos now). Our SITBACK was a little different because we have a SNOO, but the times you mention were identical. Fall asleep great at 7pm, dream feed 10pm, wake up at like 3 and would get SNOOthed back to sleep with the motion and some hand on chest/paci... then around 430, wake up again. My husband and I would spend HOURS trying to get him back to sleep using all the SITBACK shit+Snoo motion. Finally around 2.5 months, we said fuck it, why are we ALL awake for 3 hours when we could just feed this kid a bottle at 4am and all be asleep 30 minutes later. We made a plan that whomever was on the nightshift would try once to get him back to sleep at 4ish am - increased motion, touch, paci replacement or two. If it works, great, if it doesn't, just feed the damn baby. He will push out that last wake up as he is ready. Which he did, over time (and with some day sleep schedule adjustments etc). Since 15 weeks he has slept from dream feed to 630 wake up time.

I am a FTM. Looking back, I know now that my kid was born a pretty good sleeper, and I feel like SITBACK is meant for those newborns that wake up SEVERAL times a night and parents are just trying to consolidate the feeds to maybe two. It seems that you, like me, are lucky in that you have a baby who is really only waking once. So, if you need permission to just do a quick feed so you all can sleep instead of SITBACKing your face off... you have it.

One more tip, which I realize now might only be feasible with bottle feeding and I dont know if youre doing that - at some point we decreased that 4am bottle to like 4oz, just enough to get him to sleep, so that he would still do a full feed at 630am. We also kept 4am feed dim and boring, whereas 630 was HELLOOOO ITS MORNING TIMEEEEE HERE IS EVERY LIGHT IN THE HOUSE BRIGHT AS HELL WEEEEEEEEEE MORNINGSSSSSSS!

 

[kingdomincreseguy]

@seekinganswersinlife This is super helpful.. we have a lot in common (also using the Snoo, and bottle feeding). Sounds like I may not need to keep stretching the feed time. Thanks!

 

[2stupiddogs]

@kingdomincreseguy Same here!! Also Snoo bottle fed baby with the same schedule. He feeds at 1, 4, 7, 10 during the day.. at night we managed to push it to 3am instead of 1. But he still gets restless from 4 to 6..

 

[seekinganswersinlife]

@kingdomincreseguy If you have any other questions about what we did let me know!! You're doing a great job!!! Baby sleep is insane!!!

 

[katrina2017]

@kingdomincreseguy Interested to hear the suggestions you get, we’ve been doing sitback with our 7 week old and I think it’s helped but I’m not sure how long to do it for either. I usually pull the plug and feed him after a bit, especially if he’s gotten a good amount of sleep prior to waking/fussing. I don’t know yet whether it’s helped us get longer sleep as I think part of his sleep improvement is also developmental.

 

[writergirlrs]

@kingdomincreseguy I personally feel like a baby this age is too young to take to any “sleep training”. I just don’t feel it’s worth stressing yourself out for.

 

[kingdomincreseguy]

@writergirlrs Agree, she’s super young (and we don’t have it that bad at all actually!) this method is from the newborn class, so it isn’t really sleep training. Goal is to set a solid foundation for later.

I’m definitely not stressed, the schedule has actually been nice since we’re finally in a regular routine. I’m just not sure how to move forward to get best results.

Would love any tips from other parents who successfully implemented the TCB sitback method on their newborn