@pawnnolonger I feel you should do as much time as you can without being overwhelmed. I still have a house and other things to manage outside of it. If I could have the family members who are going to help out when she comes home up there without us, she’d have 24/7 care.
onegirlinchrist
New member
@onegirlinchrist That and I can’t imagine working around that all the time doesn’t desensitize you a bit. The nurses so far have been pretty great, it was an NP that said it. It wasn’t even rude how she said it, it was just jarring and made my already very overwhelmed wife feel terrible. We’ve had 1 “bad” nurse so far that seemed a bit sarcastic about us being there
@onegirlinchrist Bingo. It is very sad.
daddydubya
New member
@nyvic That seems like a lot of time spent in the NICU for two people who are working full time. What a bizarre comment
Luckily I work for a European company that understands what quality of life means so I had a decent amt of time off ..and good insurance - or else we’d be bankrupt. Our sons bill came out to be 3 million dollars
Luckily I work for a European company that understands what quality of life means so I had a decent amt of time off ..and good insurance - or else we’d be bankrupt. Our sons bill came out to be 3 million dollars
@daddydubya The NP is more than welcome to pay our bills and I’ll sleep there
I agree it sucked to hear
I agree it sucked to hearpawnnolonger
New member
@nyvic I had a nurse tell my wife we needed to be there more than 3 hours a day if we wanted our son to come home. She didn't realize that in addition to the 2-3 hours she was there in the morning, we also came back from 9pm to midnight every day because she only worked day shift. It's a really terrible thing to say and it's unrealistic. Nobody else expects a family member to stay with their loved one 24/7 during a weeks/months long hospital day but somehow it's different with the NICU?
@pawnnolonger The nurses don’t want to bottle feed the babies. They just want the parents there to do it all for them.
@nyvic We only had a week long nicu stay but I had a c-section and we had no family in town so my husband had to leave every day several times to care for our pets and come back to wheel me down. The nurses didn’t always have time to take me to the nicu. Then I got discharged before my twins did and we lived about 25 mins from the hospital and I was moving around super slow because I was still recovering and also pumping throughout the night and then family came in to town and had to entertain them. They did help out with the pets so we could get up there more but I never spent a night and I feel so guilty still 2 years later. I was never offered a bed or anything and felt like I had to get out during shift changes. It was really hard to pump up there and stay sitting up for too long. I was 37 and totally wiped out after twin pregnancy. I think I would have been shouting at the provider who said that it’s so insensitive. I’m sure they see a lot of sad cases where family doesn’t visit but I bet so many have kids at home to look after. Especially with prolonged stays. And bonding can be hard when baby is in the NICU. I had weird thoughts like that they actually belonged to the hospital and not me. PP hormones are rough. I am so sorry someone said this to you and they absolutely should be informed how upsetting it was and insensitive given your leave situations.
@nyvic I’m so sorry this happened. Its crazy that some of the nurses and staff don’t understand that life goes on outside the NICU- and that life includes working to pay for rent, hospital bills etc. One nurse practitioner made a similar comment to my spouse but luckily one of the nurses were beside and saw how tearful we got and then got mad at the NP and explained how not all jobs are supportive of paternity leave nor offer it.
@dannymudd THIS COMMENT CAME FROM AN NP TOO!! (I just found that out) my wife gets 12 weeks off(unpaid btw) and my work is semi flexible with my hours if I need them, but we’re trying to save the time we initially “budgeted” for when baby comes home.
@nyvic Omg are you serious!?!?!? Some of them are so bad! Even medical knowledge wise, some think they know it all but actions speak louder than words. My baby was having a difficult time breathing and I told the NP who shrugged it off. Baby was having retractions and breathing in the 80s. My regular nurse wasn’t around so I begged a different nurse to grab the attending. Sure enough he said my baby needed CPAP immediately. So scary but I guess that’s what happens when NP’s don’t do formal training like a residency.
@dannymudd That’s rediculous. Breathing in the 80’s absolutely needs support. That scares me too that they’re missing things that should be addressed.
@nyvic Yes absolutely terrifying. I just read the original post again- just remember that NP’s are not doctors or physicians. NP’s have no where near the training of an attending physician, one of the nurses was sharing this with me since she had her own NICU baby and had to be her own advocate as well. Stay strong and please be a loud advocate for your little one! And if you still have run in with mean staff please report them on your discharge survey (Press Ganey Medical survey). I hope you guys go home soon!
@jasperdog Funny enough, a couple of her nurses have told us she’s one of the best condition babies they’ve had through. Has had 0 setbacks and is just working on feeding now. She’s up to about 70% at week 37, and just needs to hit 80 to go home. We’re going to, I guess it was an NP who isn’t there much.
@nyvic One of my twin sons was in the NICU and i didn’t visit as much as his dad because i was taking care of his twin brother. I was so worried i was being judged but i did my best to send down colostrum. Luckily no one made me feel bad and im thankful but i can’t imagine how awful that feels. I know id go off on a doctor or nurse real quick.
@legrandvn Ours is very close. We’re hoping by the weekend if her feeds keep going up like they have been