@nyvic I have no idea how a NICU nurse can get away with saying things like that to people. That's very insensitive. My daughter lost her job from her baby being in the NICU for 97 days and her needing to be there. She had just gotten the job & didn't qualify for FMLA so she had to file for disability. Anyway, she still didn't spend all day at the NICU until the last week the baby was there because she had other kids at home to take care of. Parents have to get back to work and the nurses should realize this.
@nyvic Fuck that. Sorry, you’re doing what you can. I personally would address because this stress isn’t needed right now when you have enough going on than have to deal with their comments. They pulled something on me with daycare…so I asked if I was supposed to quit my job? They said well no. I definitely couldn’t have afforded it. Where was I supposed to get this magical cheap/free nanny from? Probably the same place you’re supposed to find the time to work and be in the NICU 24/7. You can only do what you can do.
@raiders47 We’re going to. We’re lucky enough to have the family support to not do daycare, but without it we’d be in the same boat. We can’t all be doctors, that’s why they get paid so much
she feels better after talking with our nurse, pretty much said she had no idea why that was put in the notes.
she feels better after talking with our nurse, pretty much said she had no idea why that was put in the notes.@nyvic I feel this is from lazy nurses. We encountered it too. It felt like it after every visit when they asked when we would be back. We went every other day as I had to work. Soon as the wife could drive she went everyday.
Then I had to listen to one of them complain about vaccines and how it’s better to home school. Though she was lamenting that her kid wasn’t getting math. At 9 could barely add. lol poor kid.
Wife worked for this healthcare provider at one point too. There leave was 12 weeks lol
Then I had to listen to one of them complain about vaccines and how it’s better to home school. Though she was lamenting that her kid wasn’t getting math. At 9 could barely add. lol poor kid.
Wife worked for this healthcare provider at one point too. There leave was 12 weeks lol
jordancoquelle
New member
@nyvic Is there a charge nurse or supervisor you would be able to speak to regarding this behavior? We have been in the NICU for a month so far and never had that experience. Had one instance where the discharge coordinator wanted me to change my breastfeeding schedule and I tried it out but went back to my original one after a few days because it was draining to not be able to feasibly go home for a few hours to sleep during the day and my baby was as alert and active for the original schedule as the new one. I was firm on it and didn’t get anyone complaining or being rude about it.
archangelsammael
New member
@nyvic So. This is a big issue. Just because people are healthcare professionals doesn’t mean they are great with bed side manners of have high EQ or empathy.
Lucky for us patients, we have lots of ways to provide feedback — from charge nurses to department leads to hospital admin.
What I learned during this time is to advocate for myself, my baby and even other families in the NICU by addressing the issue head on or to the supervisor. They will listen to you more if you’re still in the hospital setting.
Lucky for us patients, we have lots of ways to provide feedback — from charge nurses to department leads to hospital admin.
What I learned during this time is to advocate for myself, my baby and even other families in the NICU by addressing the issue head on or to the supervisor. They will listen to you more if you’re still in the hospital setting.
crosstcause
New member
@nyvic Hi OP, I am not sure if this is applicable to you yet or not- but in the comments, I noticed that you spoke about insurance and bills for your LO’s NICU stay. I just wanted to share something that may or may not be helpful regarding that… if your baby has been in the NICU for a certain length of time (I think over 30 days), then they should automatically qualify for Medicaid and SSI.
My baby was in the NICU for 54 days. Our NICU social worker notified us and submitted an application while she was still a patient. I had a call with the social security office a few days later. Medicaid covered her NICU stay and my girl should have it until she is 3 yrs (?). We haven’t paid for anything regarding her stay. Just ask the NICU case worker about it if in need of extra support in that area.
On another note, we were there 2-3 hours some days. My husband and I couldn’t stand to be there for longer than 5-6hrs. We didn’t want to overstimulate her too much while she was she in the incubator and vented. Also, it was so dark and warm in our NICU with uncomfortable chairs… I just couldn’t spend all day in that environment. I’m not sure where that doctor gets off making comments like that!
My baby was in the NICU for 54 days. Our NICU social worker notified us and submitted an application while she was still a patient. I had a call with the social security office a few days later. Medicaid covered her NICU stay and my girl should have it until she is 3 yrs (?). We haven’t paid for anything regarding her stay. Just ask the NICU case worker about it if in need of extra support in that area.
On another note, we were there 2-3 hours some days. My husband and I couldn’t stand to be there for longer than 5-6hrs. We didn’t want to overstimulate her too much while she was she in the incubator and vented. Also, it was so dark and warm in our NICU with uncomfortable chairs… I just couldn’t spend all day in that environment. I’m not sure where that doctor gets off making comments like that!
@crosstcause Yeah, we have Medicaid for her, we’re on day 63 currently. Was more a sarcastic way of stating it, but my wife was emergency C-sectioned for her(baby was out in less than 4 minutes it was wild) and has had some post complications that we’ve had to go to the hospital for as well. Unfortunately she can’t get it as our income is too high. Not high enough to not care about bills though
@nyvic Our NICU nurses did a few things
1. Tell us we didn't go enough
2. When we went, they would wait until we went to the cafeteria to change, bathe, and feed our baby, which we were obviously there for, so we wanted to do all these things.
3. When my husband went to change to do his first skin to skin, the nurse waited until he was gone to tell me that was my job, not his, and dads didn't matter as much as moms did.
4. They shamed us for being a little sad that he wasn't getting better for a while. They acted like we were disappointed in him and talking crap
5. Not for our son, but one of the nurses taking care of a baby also in our son's room said "well, I'm with you just about every day I might as well be your mother"... it's their job to be there every day. They're getting paid for it, not us. It's hard to be there. I didn't even have maternity leave because I had just switched jobs.
6. When we were super excited because we were told by the DOCTOR he was ready to go home, one of the nurses said to my face, "He's not going anywhere any time soon, sorry. "... I was absolutely pissed me off, and he graduated not even 7 hours after she said that.
1. Tell us we didn't go enough
2. When we went, they would wait until we went to the cafeteria to change, bathe, and feed our baby, which we were obviously there for, so we wanted to do all these things.
3. When my husband went to change to do his first skin to skin, the nurse waited until he was gone to tell me that was my job, not his, and dads didn't matter as much as moms did.
4. They shamed us for being a little sad that he wasn't getting better for a while. They acted like we were disappointed in him and talking crap
5. Not for our son, but one of the nurses taking care of a baby also in our son's room said "well, I'm with you just about every day I might as well be your mother"... it's their job to be there every day. They're getting paid for it, not us. It's hard to be there. I didn't even have maternity leave because I had just switched jobs.
6. When we were super excited because we were told by the DOCTOR he was ready to go home, one of the nurses said to my face, "He's not going anywhere any time soon, sorry. "... I was absolutely pissed me off, and he graduated not even 7 hours after she said that.
@nyvic Some doctors are out of touch with the people side. Our doctors round in the morning and ask us to notify them when parents are at the bedside for updates. If parents don’t come by 4pm, they’ll call them. I’ve had docs make similar comments to me because THEY haven’t seen the parents in weeks. I’m like… they’re here EVERY evening? Just because you didn’t SEE them doesn’t mean they aren’t coming. Sometimes I wish they’d just talk to the nurses before opening their mouths 