TV at daycare, feeling conflicted

[maverik379]

I was pretty sure the in-home daycare I take my 11 month old to played the tv for the kids sometimes, but I was kind of in denial about it. Then the daycare helper jokingly showed us a video of my son sitting back and watching some Thai tv (my daycare lady is Thai).

I was bummed. We don't play the tv for him at all at home and I recently watched a TEDtalk that makes me nervous about any screen time.

My husband and I went into the daycare this morning and asked the main daycare lady about the kids watching tv. She says she puts it on for a little while after breakfast, and the before the parents arrive. "Maybe one hour"

She said my son doesn't really pay attention to it, he walks around and plays with toys.

From the researching I'm doing I found one study that says 70% of in-home daycares turn on the tv and 30% of daycare centers do (though for less time than the in-home).

I love so much about this daycare:

• Fresh, homemade food with lots of fruits and veggies. My daycare lady even sent home some extra of her homemade chicken and veggie soup for my son one night because he loved it so much. I tried it, it was wonderful and he gobbled it up for dinner
• Lots of outdoor playing
• Lots of love. My son is so happy when we drop him off. He launches into the arms of the ladies

Ugh, I love our daycare but I'm sad about the tv. What are your thoughts?

x-posted in /r/beyondthebump

 

[katrina2017]

@maverik379 My thought is that its WAY too hard to find a in-home daycare with as many perks as you mentioned to leave over some screen time, but if it bothers you that much, thrn stick to your gut. To me, a place that the child LOVES to visit and doesnt fuss or cry at drop-off, with that kind of cooking, would be like a needle in a haystack. Youd have to pry my kids spot from my cold dead hands.

 

[lightbringer72]

@katrina2017 Also: he's watching Thai TV, how cool!

(As an adult) I learnt to count in Spanish from an episode of Sesame St. I'm all for multilingual viewing!

 

[princessj2]

@maverik379 Screen time isn't an issue that personally bothered me at all but less than an hour a day in the background really doesn't seem that bad. We haven't limited our 20 month old's exposure in any way and he still doesn't pay any attention to the TV for more than 5 minutes at a time max.

 

[isaacig88]

@maverik379 Listen, at home daycares are awesome... and they are not. We also send our 2 kids to one. We LOVE it and our daycare lady, but she now has 6 kids to watch. We have a 9 week old that started 3 weeks ago and another mom of a toddler started her newborn in December. The only reason our daycare took on 2 babies, was because we already had children with her. Sometimes multiple kids with one adult is overwhelming. I think 2 kids at home can be overwhelming. Sometimes turning the tv on is the only way she can prepare lunch or clean up the mess from lunch.

One hour of television is not going to hurt your kid. There is a difference between a little screen time, and screen time all day long. I'm not going to lie, my 2.5 year old has her own tablet and watches movies and plays games on it. And to be honest, since her sister has come along, she has spent more time on it while we are adjusting to life with 2 kids. It's not something we would have ever bought for her, but it was given to my husband by his work. I think it's a great learning tool. She's not sitting there watching Ninja Turtles all day. She is learning to count and read and sing! She knows her alphabet, can write the first letter of all of our names, she knows all of her shapes and colors, and she can count to ten.

Relax a little bit on this. I think the trade off for screen time and all the things you love about your daycare is worth it.

 

[martina2510]

@maverik379 I think you're hard pressed to find a daycare that wont use a tv for a bit, especially with lots of kids. Our daycare has it on at breakfast, and then in their contract it says they usually have kid music videos playing (a lot of the kids like to stay on the carpet and dance), and then they'll "use the tv a little more as needed on rainy days, or more difficult days with the children." My daughter watches some at home, but never focuses on it, usually just plays with toys and reads books while its on. TV isnt going to kill your kid, and if you have a good daycare, keep it! Good daycares are hard to find.

 

[deborah23]

@maverik379 One hour a day isn't bad. Especially if it's something educational (maybe the program is teaching him another language?). Visit the day care at different times on different days to ensure it's only on at the times she says it's on. Love, nutrition and outdoor play are things I'm more than willing to accept an hour of TV for especially if he doesn't watch it at home.

 

[msspenny]

@maverik379 My in-home daycare was upfront that she puts TV on for 30 mins a day while she's preparing lunch. I think that's acceptable. The kids spend tons of time outdoors, which seems to be everyone's preferred place. My son is also 11 months.

We generally keep the TV on at home for background noise and he mostly ignores it, except if Wheel of Fortune is on.

Edited to add: is your son in his "stranger danger" and/or separation anxiety phase yet? My son won't let anyone hold him who he doesn't know. He screams. This age is probably not a good time for changes in his caregivers, unless you were truly worried about his safety.

 

[maverik379]

@msspenny He definitely has separation anxiety. He pretty much just wants me all the time (makes his dad sad). This is part of the reason it's such a relief he's so happy at daycare. He looooves his daycare ladies. He happily goes to them.

 

[msspenny]

@maverik379 Aww. Mine is greedy, he usually wants both of us. Though he has a little preference for just dad sometimes.

 

[maverik379]

@msspenny Dad is the better tickler. I think my little guy goes for me because I smell like food and he's a good eater

 

[jomarie]

@maverik379 I think you are probably over reacting. Unless the day care has tons of helper adults the best way to make sure as many kids are safe as possible during meal prep is to give them something to watch so they sit quietly and don't get into lots of things. It's a smart allocation of resources.

 

[momofadozen]

@maverik379 I take it this is your first kiddo?

 

[maverik379]

@momofadozen Hahahah. Yes. . You'll see from my history that I've had anxiety about just about everything. Pacifiers, sleeping, TV... Sigh.

 

[momofadozen]

@maverik379 Don't worry we've all been there. Plus now as a mom of 3 looking through my time hop I cringe at some of the things I did/said as a new mom haha. Now with a 4yo, 3yo, and 4 month old I've learned to pick my battles and be okay with it if my kids eat chicken nuggets and applesauce pouches all day while watching way too much cartoons. My husband is out of town Monday through Friday so some days as long as we're all alive, fed, and happy I call it a win

 

[maverik379]

@momofadozen Haha, totally a win! Everything I stressed about turned out fine, so I should learn to relax one of these days

 

[gbtg]

@maverik379 My first child did not watch TV until 2. My second at 9 months. My third right away due to siblings. My youngest is my most intelligent with a high concentration level. And oddly enough does not want to every watch TV now. I feel like I might have deprived the other two.

 

[twyla]

@momofadozen I'm sure you didn't mean this in a condescending way, but if it's important to OP, it's important to her. No need to invalidate how she's feeling because she's a FTM.

 

[momofadozen]

@twyla Nope I didn't - but it's hard to convey tone through text.

 

[maverik379]

@twyla Aww, thank you for this. I didn't take offense though, totally made me laugh.