Trigger warning loss: my baby girl died

dan1988

New member
On March 12th 2023 I experienced the most painful event of my life. I woke up and baby was moving but it was light, throughout the day she kept moving and I didn’t find anything concerning. I’d told my doctor on Thursday March 9th at my appointment that I was having contractions and that I felt alot of pelvic pressure. She checked to see if I was dilated and I wasn’t so she told me that must be just normal third trimester pains.
Cut to yesterday when I was deep into nesting and I started to feel severe back pain along with my stomach tightening.
My husband rushed me to LD and they couldn’t find her heart rate anymore. The doctor (I think it’s all a bit fuzzy) rushed in did the ultrasound and found her but there was mo heart beat.
I was having back to back contractions they found this when they put me on monitors and sent my blood work to be checked and found that my blood counts were quickly dropping I was in the mid 200s and quickly getting into the lower 200s.
I was rushed into a c section where they found blood in my stomach and that my placenta had detached and baby wasn’t getting what she needed.
Her name is Iris Joelene Rodriguez and she is the most beautiful human I’ve seen. And I’d you believe I’m anything at all please send me prayers, vibes etc. I need them.
Bless all of y’all, I read this forum almost daily to find out information about everything baby related and while I’m kind of a creeper who doesn’t post too much y’all were like family to me.
 
@dan1988 Iris Joelene is a beautiful name. Whenever I hear the name, I will think of you and your beautiful girl.

You carried her for every second of her life and you will love her for every second of your own. You will not forget her, and neither will I. Sending you so much love and healing.
 
@dan1988 My daughter was stillborn when I was almost 39 weeks along on March 26, 2020. I haven’t been ok since. I empathize with you and what you’re going through. I’m so, so sorry for you, your precious baby, and your family. It’s so unfair.

You’re more than welcome to shoot me a PM if you want to talk. You’re not alone. Hang in there. Remember, as long as you breathe, you carry her with you and she will always be a part of you.
 
@dan1988 I am so, so very sorry for your loss. I am sending you all of the healing vibes I possibly can. I know there’s nothing I can really say to make it better, but please know that I am thinking of you and praying for you and your little family.

Rest in paradise, baby Iris 🤍 May you always watch over your family and protect them, and may your memory live on forever.

I’m sorry mama. hugs
 
@dan1988 I'm so sorry for your loss. Please know that this outcome was not your fault, even though you're probably sitting on tremendous grief filled with what-ifs, and if-only-I-hads. All your little girl ever knew was love.
I lost my little girl, Reese Jolene on November, full term stillbirth and hope that if there's anywhere that good souls go, my baby is with yours, showing her the ropes and how to send signs that she's with you.
 
@bioleap Thank you, I’m sobbing right now reading your message. I’m sorry for your loss as well and you’re right I feel like I failed her as in if only I’d rushed to the hospital even an hour earlier they could have saved her. Bless you and thank you I hope Reese Jolene is with Iris Joelene showing her the ropes. Little angels may they rest in peace.
 
@dan1988 Wow, this is heartbreaking to hear. Sending you an immense amount of strength mama. Rest in peace to your darling girl, I can’t begin to imagine the pain and grief. I hope I can offer you some comfort by saying there is a light at the end of the road. May her memory live on xx
 
@dan1988 This may make you cry, but I hope it's in a good way. This is meant as a reassurance and hopefully something positive you can hold on to.

When they say your babies will always be with you, it's down to your DNA. When you're pregnant, your little one and you become 1. As your body is growing them, they heal you in so many ways and that sticks with you permanently.

On days when you feel down, just remember that Iris is truly with you. The guilt and grief must be unimaginable, honestly all I can say is that I hope you do your best to be yourself everyday. Even if your best only looks like staying in PJs some days. Eat that ice cream, drink the wine, cry in the shower, enjoy the sunshine, stay in bed and please laugh at anything and everything you find funny... find yourself again when you feel ready to
 
@emari333 Thank you so much, again sobbing but your words are so kind. I don’t know how I’ll make it through each day but I’m going to try for Iris.
 

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