Trigger warning ⚠️⚠️⚠️

[richyken]

Hi,
First off I would just like to add some context/ details so you guys can hopefully understand my situation a bit more. (This is gonna be a long one please bare with me)
So I took my first pregnancy test august 12,2023 resulting in a very instant positive. Not long after, I followed up with an obgyn and they also confirmed it. I couldn’t give them a date of my last period so based on the size they gave an estimate around 3-4 weeks. I did all the necessary and regular first appointment stuff (their normal procedure I guess u could say) on September 5,2023, I was along 6 or 7 weeks at the time. I got my first ultrasound of my little one on that same day but I also got some bad news.. my baby’s heart beat was low at 102 bpm and they wanted a follow up ultrasound. Today was the day, they broke the news to me with my poor husband in the room. The baby lost their heartbeat. I had this ultrasound at 8:30am and my doctor wasn’t there yet so they asked if I wanted to wait and speak to the doctor. I declined. I just wanted to go home and cry.
Long story short,
I posted this because I have some questions and need some advice.
This may sound silly but.. what would my doctor tell me that the ultrasound tech didn’t already tell me? I don’t want to hear from 20 medical professionals that I couldn’t carry my first child past 8 weeks. It’s waaaaay too soon.
I haven’t had any bleeding or any other symptoms of a miscarriage, is there like an estimated time I’m going to miscarry?
Is it possible the tissue won’t leave naturally?
Is the medication used to “speed up” the process of passing the tissue hazardous?
How should I prepare for the mental/physical exhaustion of miscarrying?
Thank you for your time guys and gals!
Any advice is helpful! Have a great day

 

[job28]

@richyken First of all, so sorry for your loss. Regarding the doctor thing, I am 99% sure that ultrasound techs aren't aloud to confirm anything, and it has to be the doctor that diagnoses the mc. At each of my scans there's been a tech and a doctor, or the doctor comes in right after to discuss the results. Your doctor will probably call and confirm what was seen on the scan and then give you options for miscarrying (likely the pill route or d&c route). While you can wait and see if your body processes the loss without intervention, it's possible that your body won't and you'll need intervention to avoid infection. There are pros and cons to each route, but make sure you ask questions and do what's best for you. There's not a lot you can do to prepare; it will be emotionally and physically draining. If you have the ability to, I would recommend taking some time off work, and letting yourself grieve. Lean on your close support network too. I had friends send food, cookies, call me, etc. and it really helped. It'll be tough, but you'll be okay.