@tiiira You’re right it’s a killer. Be as kind and gentle on yourself as you can be right now. Rally any troops you can. It will pass but you’re in the trenches right now.
@tiiira It’s so hard. The only thing that helps sometimes is time. Each week you’ll have a new baby and the changes and new things to figure out is totally head spinning. Lean on your partner if you can. The biggest thing that helped me was getting some decent sleep. Sounds impossible but if there is anyone who can help you out so you can sleep, ask for help! Once I had a few hours of good sleep in me I felt SO MUCH BETTER. Was able to handle things better and more sanely lol.
The up every hour cluster feeds were torture but didn’t last too long. Try to sleep when he sleeps during the day, too.
Someday in the future, sooner than you think, he’ll sleep 3 then 4 then 5 hours straight and you’ll feel like a brand new human. Hang in there.
@tiiira I’d encourage you to look into the “safe sleep seven” and safe cosleeping. Even if you never plan to do it, almost every parent ends up sleeping with their baby at some point, many times unintentionally. Personally it was a lifesaver for us and our daughter slept next to me for 5 months nursing every 1-2 hours and now she’s in her own room and sleeps through the night most nights (she’s 1). Depending on your risk factors, it’s incredibly safe. You can also check out http://www.sidscalculator.com
@tiiira Reddit is very divided on this issue, and of course you make the choice that is right for your family. Accidentally falling asleep in a recliner or on a couch is much much more dangerous than planned bedsharing in a safe setup. The cosleeping subreddit is a helpful resource if you’re interested. Ultimately you have to do what you feel is best! Plenty of families never bedshare, but I was surprised that almost 100% of the fellow moms I sheepishly told under my breath that we were cosleeping said “oh me too!”. It’s the way we all slept for all of human history until very recently, and is significantly more socially acceptable, talked about, and supported by medical professionals in many countries outside of the US.
@tiiira If following the safe seven, risks are next to nothing. The risk compared to out of the room compared to bedsharing goes up a lot if there's alcohol or smoking involved
@tiiira It is not easy. Thru 4-5 months was really hard. Once we got past the swaddle phase and she was sleeping on her own (Ferber method) that was a game changer.
Encourge good sleep habits.
Take breaks and switch with your husband/wife. Marathon mentality.
I was told and kept repeating it in my head…This is just a phase….
@tiiira Are you on any sort of schedule right now? If so, what is it? Having a strict schedule helped my boy. Unfortunately, I didn't learn that until about 4 months
@tiiira I kept my headphones where I fed babe, and listened to funny podcasts like “Absolutely Not”. Heather McMahan is my girl! Also, I stopped automatically changing with every waking, that way he didn’t wake as much and take so long to get down. Now, if around 2+ months, your baby starts to get very sensitive to bassinet transfers and waking, I highly recommend trying a put down/pick up approach. We just started a cpl weeks ago (3.5 months now) and it makes all the wakings so much easier to put him back down.
@tiiira The newborn phase is brutal, but it gets better. Hang in there. I’m someone that likes routine so I found getting my baby on a schedule helped for me. And I say schedule loosely - we weren’t aiming for perfection.
@tiiira Are you breastfeeding? My baby was like this too so after a month I started to exclusively pump and feed him 3-4 oz each feeding. I felt like this helped because it forced him to be full. But I would breastfeed 1 time during the day and a middle of the night feeding to continue the bond. He is now 3 months and wake up 3-4 hours still to eat . Still pretty often but not as often. Hang in there!
@tiiira I was the only one getting up with baby every single night and it was rough. I will say finding a good game, book, podcast, or show (or all of the above) for sure helped me stay awake and not dread getting up. I know the nights seem to drag on forever and I felt anxious every time night came, but they really do go by so fast. My baby is almost 6 months now and finally sleeping through the night and those newborn nights feel like a lifetime ago.
@tiiira Aah cluster feeding, pump if y’all are using breast milk, if you have to take every feed your gonna burn out fast, also if you can, someone be up with him at all times we spent like 2-3m with me being up till near 3am hubby going to bed by 10, and then switching off that way one of us was on duty :3 I’m aware this isn’t an option for everyone but it worked well as I’m a night owl and he’s an early bird :3