@jamesmason10 You may believe that you’re entitled to emotional intimacy but a lot of people - especially guys - are not wired for it, and didn’t grow up being comfortable with emotional intimacy. If one wants emotional intimacy with their partner, and he’s not naturally wired that way, then they should approach it as a process, and approach it with the humility that they asking something of the other person that he doesn’t naturally have. Basically, don’t demand it. If you do, then just understand that entitled behavior has consequences, and the consequences are usually not great.
@nathan98 That's ok, a man not willing to make even the slightest effort to move out of his comfort zone to make his wife happy isn't a big loss. Nobody said it had to be an immediate or drastic change but in a relationship you have to compromise. Both of you, men aren't the ones with the power to decide to stay or leave.
@jamesmason10 Compromise is meeting someone in the middle on wants and preferences. Attempting to change who someone fundamentally is, isn’t compromise.
@nathan98 Yes, meeting in the middle. I might want someone who writes me poems but would settle for being asked how my day is. I don't think basic empathy and manners should be something you have to teach anyone, and if you do they shouldn't be in a relationship.
@nathan98 I feel like there is some truth to this idea of acceptance. One thing that stuck out to me in reading fair play was the idea that each partner owns their tasks. So, as long as minimum standards are met, leting your partner take over tasks means that they may not get done like you want them to.
My husband is definately an acts of service type guy as well and it has been a struggle for me to acknowledge that that is his style.
@cristy I can relate a bit! The thing that helped us (me!) the most was to have tasks that he “owns.” He still helps a ton when asked and stuff, but having a set list of things that he does is a game changer.
