The key to having a baby is not to stress about having a baby [F29]

[rosswood]

@highonluna Hey there, I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone in feeling this way. Personally, I deal with constant anxiety, and my family is quite temperamental and emotional. Despite being generally calm, I've started feeling the pressure from questions like, "When are you getting pregnant?" or "Why aren't you pregnant yet?" This has been going on for the past two years, evolving from inquiries about marriage to the current pregnancy-focused ones. It's frustrating, and honestly, it's brought up fears I didn't even know I had, which I suspect many women share. Even though my family isn't bombarding me with these questions, they often compare my age to others, making me hesitant to discuss the topic with them. The only person I sense genuine empathy from is my father, who dreams of becoming a grandparent. However, he remains silent and hopeful, in stark contrast to the rest of my family. It's infuriating when people close to you, friends, and family are the ones bombarding you with these personal questions. Just recently, my cousin messaged me on Instagram, asking about "great news." It's frustrating because it's something beyond my control. Your frustrations are valid, and I can relate to that boiling blood feeling every time someone brings it up. It's tough, but hang in there. Sending hugs and girl try to ignore them for your own sake.

 

[liza0727]

@highonluna My mom is like this which is why I refuse to tell her we have been trying. Yeah it’s cultural but I still don’t care stop sharing information with them. Be honest and tell them they are the reason your stressing out so your now sharing anymore information. My plan is even if we do get pregnant I’m not going to tell my mom or his until I hit the three month mark and I won’t give them an exact time of when the delivery would be. I know his mom and mine would expect to be there. Specially my mom she would just automatically assume she will be in the delivery and staying with me it’s month or two after. And I love that woman but she’s judgy and she stresses me out. So for me I just plan to be stingy with the information mostly because it’s going to help keep me sane. Are they going to be mad? Oh yeah neither one is subtle about wanting grandkids like yesterday. But it’s not about them it’s about me and my partner. You might want to consider sharing less information with them.

 

[highonluna]

@liza0727 Ill be honest. My biggest issue with her asking constantly (other than it starting to become triggering) is I would love to suprise her with a pregnancy when it's time... i dont want her to know from conception. I missed out on a suprise proposal because of her too (she bribed my husband and I to get married so that people didn't know we were living together unwed). And I dont want to lose the suprise of a pregnancy announcement.

 

[liza0727]

@highonluna That’s horrible. Why do you keep sharing information with her? Just tell her your taking a break and haven’t decided for how long. And then stop giving her information. Look I know they are our moms and they want the best for us. But they don’t get to meddle in our life. They already lived their life. Now it’s our turn. We don’t have to share that personal of information. Stand up for yourself. And like I said they will probably be mad and give you the I’m so hurt speech I’m just trying to help. But I’m allowed to be relaxed without being pestered with their question and they are entitled to their feelings. Just let your partner know so they are on the same page

 

[highonluna]

@liza0727 It started out just because Im a forgetful person, Im not one to keep track of days and cycles (also why I think it's super stupid that Im told to relax through the first year/year and a half). She was trying to help remember to take my meds (I was also diagnosed with hypothyroidism in this process and have to take synthroid every day). If she asked me what day of the cycle I was in I wouldnt know and then she would find in our messages the last time she had asked me and I was on my period and count it out for me.

But like I said, I am stressed out now, and I dont need her to track it for me anymore. Not that I ever did tbh - even if I miss my thyroid meds once or twice a month.

 

[tiffanyc92]

@highonluna I thought you were gonna say at the end that you got pregnant

 

[highonluna]

@tiffanyc92 Pfft yeah maybe I should take the opposite advice and just stress my out like crazy and act as a control to this "just relax" theory. Like a previous comment said, women seem to get pregnant in aweful situations, and maybe then I'll get a BFP finally.