@hasanali147 I feel you!! I turn 35 this april and I'm already trying to plan a trip somewhere (safely, of course!) To redirect my focus, since I know I'll be feeling down. I figure if I have something else to look forward to, maybe I won't be depressed about this advanced maternal age nonsense?? Hope so anyway. I'll tell you what I keep telling myself: it will happen when it is meant to happen! I wish you a very happy birthday and know you are not alone in these feelings!
The Big 3 5
- Thread starter hasanali147
- Start date
hasanali147
New member
@pdizzle09 Thank you! I'm going camping for the next few days & leaving the pregnancy tests at home so I'm not tempted by early testing. I hope you get to go somewhere fun! Yes, it'll happen when it happens.
@hasanali147 That's awesome and a great idea! Have fun!
thehardertruths
New member
@hasanali147 I’ll be 35 in July. I’m doing ivf by myself because I’m done waiting for a guy. However everyone keeps telling me I should wait, I’m not ready.
Uh, I’m working on buying a house, I make almost triple what I did when I had my son, and just because I can’t afford a 500k house in my hometown doesn’t mean I’m not ready. Get over yourselves. If not now, when? I already have fertility problems, so how much longer should I wait? Really????
Uh, I’m working on buying a house, I make almost triple what I did when I had my son, and just because I can’t afford a 500k house in my hometown doesn’t mean I’m not ready. Get over yourselves. If not now, when? I already have fertility problems, so how much longer should I wait? Really????
hasanali147
New member
@thehardertruths Wow, I'm so impressed! Good for you! 
thehardertruths
New member
@hasanali147 Thanks, I still have some things to work on, but that’ll be soon. We’re gonna have to move, but it’s a better school district and better for special needs. Higher teachers pay, so once I finish my degree I’ll make more. My job is moving with me, so it won’t be out of work. All in all a win.
thehardertruths
New member
Oh and happy early birthday!
samuel_alexander
New member
@hasanali147 I’m turning 35 next week too! Yea, I’m trying to just stay positive and not let tcc stress get in my head this month. We can only do our best and the body is just gonna do what it’s gonna do...so let’s be kind to ourselves and enjoy some cake next week. 
hasanali147
New member
@samuel_alexander Happy birthday to you! Yes, working on staying positive. I think I'll be fine once the day has come & gone.
little_sparrow
New member
@hasanali147 Happy birthday for soon! Feel all you need to feel to get you through. Rest assured though that we’re all here with you on this journey!
Also turning 35 (April) and will have been trying for a year by then. Such a strange age like we’re meant to have our shit together by now and having kids earlier would have been so much easier but I try to remember that this isn’t necessarily true and we’re not the oldest age to be mums anymore. Mine had me at 39 so I hold on to knowing that it will still be possible. It also helps me to feel upset/angry/jealous about people falling pregnant around me for a day then tomorrow/next month is a fresh start.
All the best!
Also turning 35 (April) and will have been trying for a year by then. Such a strange age like we’re meant to have our shit together by now and having kids earlier would have been so much easier but I try to remember that this isn’t necessarily true and we’re not the oldest age to be mums anymore. Mine had me at 39 so I hold on to knowing that it will still be possible. It also helps me to feel upset/angry/jealous about people falling pregnant around me for a day then tomorrow/next month is a fresh start.
All the best!
hasanali147
New member
@little_sparrow Thank you! Yes, there is still time. I'm just impatient. Thankfully I don't feel jealousy or anger toward pregnant people I know bc I can't know what TTC has been like for them, but I can only assume that it's as hard for them as it is for me. So I feel happy for them. Fictional characters, however? They're the ones I get upset with bc it's either so easy, or they're unhealthy, or they don't want it.
little_sparrow
New member
@hasanali147 Oh I totally get you re fictional characters!! Also impatient. We’ll get there soon 
cross_product
New member
@hasanali147 I know a couple who conceived in mid 50s the man was 50 the wife was 45 they have a healthy 7 year old
hasanali147
New member
@cross_product Well if they can do it, I can!
@hasanali147 So I talked to an acupuncturist who specializes in fertility and at 34, mentioned my concerns about my age. While 35 is when to start being more aggressive about fertility, she told me 38 is really the big swing of “at risk” and egg depletion. Of course, every woman is different, but hopefully this lightens your mood and happy birthday! You’re beautiful and valuable with or without children and regardless of your age or skin’s smoothness
hasanali147
New member
@hasanali147 So I just had a consultation to see if it’s right for me. She was clearly very passionate about what she does and gave me a shit ton of information!!! She encouraged me to reach out to my doctors and gave me some solid advice on how to advocate for myself. She recommended I do some opks that will help tell when I’m ovulating and give some info about my hormones. I didn’t schedule an appointment just yet because I wanted to talk to my doctor first. I’m going to order the opk kit she recommended and use it next cycle and also get the tests my doctor is suggesting. I will feel more confident with a complete picture and once I get the all clear on those fronts, I think I’m gonna go for it!!!
She didn’t claim to be a miracle worker which I appreciate, but rather a part of a care team that can help offer support and help get my mensies and ovulation on track! (I ovulate pretty late in my cycle and suffered an ectopic last spring which was treated with MTX). My cycle has always been sort of irregular so I’m curious if she can help me regulate.
I got super busy with work for a while and decided now wasn’t the best time for it but it’s coming together and I’m collecting a small village for this journey including my OB, a therapist, this acupuncturist and a few supportive friends. Godspeed to you!!!! I’ve only heard great things about fertility acupuncturists so why not give it a try? That’s where I’m at.
She didn’t claim to be a miracle worker which I appreciate, but rather a part of a care team that can help offer support and help get my mensies and ovulation on track! (I ovulate pretty late in my cycle and suffered an ectopic last spring which was treated with MTX). My cycle has always been sort of irregular so I’m curious if she can help me regulate.
I got super busy with work for a while and decided now wasn’t the best time for it but it’s coming together and I’m collecting a small village for this journey including my OB, a therapist, this acupuncturist and a few supportive friends. Godspeed to you!!!! I’ve only heard great things about fertility acupuncturists so why not give it a try? That’s where I’m at.
hasanali147
New member
@hasanali147 I'm going to turn 39 in April. There are VERY good reasons I'm just now trying for my first (abusive marriage, thank Cthullu I was never able to reproduce with him) but it's still a bummer. I'm panicking that I waited too long. Every BFN is made larger by the chiming of the imaginary clock in the background screaming YOU DON'T WANT TO BE AN OLD MOM. Even though I will be already. Solidarity, friend.
hasanali147
New member
@lander Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that you've been through that... I'm so so glad you got out of that relationship. The BFNs are hard and I don't know about you, but I'm always on the hunt on the weekly BFP thread for people in a similar situation to me. I'll be thinking of you in April & sending big hugs.