Terrified about my 13w scan on wed

[jillybean736]

I had a MMC seen at the 12 weeks @spiritualtranscendence 2 years back, so I’m panicking. I can’t stop myself from imagining the horror scene when I’m at the ultrasound and I take a look at the screen and know that everything is not good (I had enough fetal ultrasounds in my life to know what’s expected at 13w). I can def see myself having a breakdown there. What should I be doing to prepare myself mentally? My husband can’t go with me so I’d be alone.

Edit: I have seen a strong heartbeat at 7w. But during my mmc, I saw the heartbeat at 8w.

 

[anonymousgal7]

@jillybean736 I had a MMC also discovered at a 12w scan, so I feel for you. I’m 6 weeks now and not looking forward to any of the first trimester scans. I don’t have any advice but just wanted to say I get it, and I hope it goes well for you. Maybe it would sensible to rearrange so you can have support in the room (or explain you need a support person for mental health reasons — I can’t see how they can justify allowing your partner but won’t allow a substitute person. How do they even know your friend isn’t your co-parent? You could be a non-hetero couple).

 

[jillybean736]

@anonymousgal7 I just managed to get my appointment rescheduled to the afternoon when my husband will be there!

 

[skyguy8068]

@jillybean736 There’s no way for your husband to go with you? What about another loved one? I also had a mmc at 12 weeks, and for the next pregnancy I used a Doppler from 10-12 weeks to get me through that time. It might cause more anxiety though if you can’t find the heart beat, which could be perfectly normal as it can be tricky. Can you ask them to tell you right away if there’s a heartbeat?

 

[jillybean736]

@skyguy8068 He’s not available at the time slot I was given so I’m going to see if I can reschedule it. Or my friend will come along with me, but she can’t go in the room with me (leftover rules fr Covid) so idk…
I do have a Doppler but I’m hesitant because I don’t know how to use it.. any tips?

 

[skyguy8068]

@jillybean736 Look quite low. Listen to YouTube sounds so you know what you are looking for. Don’t freak out if you don’t find it - it can be quite hard to find. If I were you I’d try once today or tomorrow if you think that if you find it you will feel better and if you don’t you won’t feel worse. If you do find it don’t try again because if you can’t find it once you have already found it it will be more stressful, I think (although still perfectly normal - I couldn’t find it once at 15 weeks and freaked out because I found it every day up until then, but there was no issue).

 

[jillybean736]

@skyguy8068 I psyched myself up to try the Doppler and I think I found the heartbeat!

 

[skyguy8068]

@jillybean736 Yay!! Fingers crossed for your scan!

 

[martinly]

@jillybean736 I had a very similar situation with MMC found at 12 wk scan last year. When I went in January for my 12 wk scan this year, I was very upfront with the ultrasound tech about my prior experience. She was super understanding and talked me through the entire ultrasound. I feel like it really helped both of us to be prepared for anything we saw on the scan.

 

[eileen88]

@jillybean736 Hi friend, I was In your shoes last spring! MMC diagnosed at my 13 WK scan, a chemical in between and then a 12.5 week scan with my longed for double rainbow baby!! I was terrified.
Personally, I used a Doppler and found baby from 10 wks on. I'm also an OB nurse so I knew how to use it. If you try go really low like at the bikini line. There are some videos on YouTube that can help you. It sounds like a horse galloping. But don't worry if you can't find it either, it can be really hard to find early on (at work I've had trouble on people and baby has been fine)
I will tell you the moment you see your sweet baby moving on the screen will be one of the best moments of your life! But that doesn't mean it doesn't totally suck waiting to get there. For me I was able to see instantly that baby was alive and well bobbing around as soon as the scan started, it's a lot easier to tell at 13 wks vs 8 weeks: it really looks like a little person!
Deep breaths, take it day by day can you do something fun every day to help take your mind of it? For example trying a new coffee shop every day, going to a new bookstore, exploring a new park or whatever you like to do?

 

[jillybean736]

@eileen88 Omg i got myself to try it after your message and I think I found it! It says 135bmp on the Doppler so I think that’s ok?

 

[eileen88]

@jillybean736 Yes! But the numbers aren't super accurate so if you see 70 or whatever don't freak out. Is more what you hear. You can count out the sound of the beats