Stop f*cking telling me I’ll change my mind

[i_love_you_lots]

I just had a call from my realtor to update me on some stuff. In the background his daughter was laughing and screaming and he apologized, I said ‘that’s okay, I’ll be hearing that next year anyways’, he was surprised and asked when I was due. I said March, that this was my only and I couldn’t wait. And here comes the “Oh no you’ll change your mind”. I laughed it off awkwardly and just said ‘probably not, I’m so freakin tired already’. His response? “Oh don’t say that, you’ll have another, trust me”.

STOP TELLING PEOPLE THAT. I don’t care how happy you are with 2 or 27 kids! If someone mentions that they’re one and done, or even just done in general, stop telling them they’re going to have more. I thought I was ready to be unaffected by these comments but I keep hearing it and I’m close to just spontaneously combusting. Why is this something forced on mothers? Just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean I want to be pregnant again, doesn’t mean I want to have kid after kid. This pregnancy has riddled me with sickness, pain, my mental health is the worst it’s ever been, you have no idea what I’m dealing with.

Just respect people and leave them be. F*ck. Rant over!

 

[godsdaughter]

@i_love_you_lots My response: why is it ok for someone to say they want 2 or 3 or even 5 kids, but it's not ok for me to say I want 1? Am I not a responsible enough adult to know my own mind? I've lived independently for 16 years, paid all my own bills, gone to college, served in the military, owned a home, and had a baby, but I can't be trusted to make my own decisions? (Insert your own things here)

Usually they get flustered and shut up

 

[i_love_you_lots]

@godsdaughter My new response is going to be “Why do I need to have another? Explain that to me”

Hopefully that shuts people up

 

[godsdaughter]

@i_love_you_lots Hopefully. I always get told "so they have a sibling/friend" (neither me nor my husband are close with ours) or "so they aren't alone when you die" or some other crap

 

[gloryholler]

@godsdaughter My mil was like "if you dont have a second one your child will have depression". Yeah, great no pressure at all. I just answered with "uhm, i have 4 siblings and I'm depressed. What do you say about this?"

 

[willieosgood]

@gloryholler My MIL tried to convince me my daughter needed siblings also. I know she means well. But you know what my husband remembers about childhood? Always having to share everything and never being able to get in the bathroom. As an only child, I didn't have these problems. Lol. My daughter has friends and a ton of cousins. I think she will be fine.

 

[chrisc17]

@i_love_you_lots My daughter is 7, I could build a brand new house for the amount of times I’ve heard “you’ll change your mind…” It’s been SEVEN years I’m infertile and I really really don’t want to go into the fact my uterus is broken and that it’s by choice we stopped at 1. There’s a whole story but I’ll leave it at that

 

[chrisc17]

@i_love_you_lots It’s really hard. I’m on continuous birth control just in case I got pregnant again. It’s also for my endometriosis as it’s the only thing that keeps me from constant bleeding. I beat the odds after losing 3 in miscarriage my husband and I were completely shocked when after trying 4 1/2 years I got pregnant with our now 7 year old. It took a miracle to have her and I love her so much. Life is perfect with having her, she’s my wild child and I cannot imagine adding another one to the mix.

 

[i_love_you_lots]

@chrisc17 I’m so sorry I can’t imagine what youve gone through because that sounds so heartbreaking and hardCongratulations and a big hug for your miracle baby mama

 

[chrisc17]

@i_love_you_lots Thank you so incredibly much!

 

[bcraig_6973]

@i_love_you_lots Lol my mil hates having two but tells me the same thing “ you will change your mind.” Yet all she dose is complaint about how hard bil is. My husband was emotionally neglected so there is that. I swear half of these people say that so you can suffer with them

 

[i_love_you_lots]

@bcraig_6973 That must be what it is and I want no part in that suffering!

 

[thoushaltnorkill]

@i_love_you_lots That sucks and I 100% agree that this behaviour needs to stop.

Devils advocate: a realtor probably wants all his clients to pop out a bunch of kids because more kids = need for bigger houses = more money in the bank for him.

 

[i_love_you_lots]

@thoushaltnorkill You’re probably not wrong but man I’m tired of hearing that. Especially when people persist after I politely say no/probably not/we’re sure we’re just having one. That’s what bothers me. Just respect me saying no

 

[lordismyshepard]

@i_love_you_lots Had a woman pregnant with her first born complain to be about how tired and sore she is from pregnancy. In the same breath she told me I would want more babies in the future and to not limit myself. Like…what? I don’t owe an explanation to anyone about my choices, but it’s annoying to repeatedly have to even have the conversation.

 

[pearl24]

@lordismyshepard "Oh, you don't believe in limits? Are you thinking eight kids? Ten? You probably don't have enough good years for more than ten. But I guess we'll see, right? No limits! Shoot for the moon!"

 

[lordismyshepard]

@pearl24 Hahaha next time for sure!

 

[lovejesus3]

@i_love_you_lots I don't understand how its so hard for some people to grasp that it's possible to have just ONE child and be totally happy. Not only is it annoying to hear, but also how about mind your own business as to why people choose to not have another.

 

[jean777]

@i_love_you_lots I feel this.. we went through years (YEARS) of IVF to have our super baby and I knew I couldn't and wouldn't do IVF again. Yet, people can't help but tell me I'm going to want another baby. It's really inconsiderate and gross that people shove their opinions in my face. Especially with zero knowledge of how incredibly life changing IVF is and the recovery takes a heavy toll on the mother's mental and physical health.

 

[i_love_you_lots]

@jean777 And congratulations for making it through that tough path! You’re a very strong mama and you’re right, it is inconsiderate. I wish those comments would just disappear but that’s asking others for respect and we all know how difficult that is to get