"So WhEn ArE yOu MoViNg HeR tO cErEaL?"

[finnianvk]

Does anyone notice that the friends/family members/strangers most uncomfortable with breastfeeding always seem to ask the most questions about how soon your LO can be moved away from BF and over to cereal/other foods?

Maybe just a coincidence?

Maybe I'm just venting

 

[katrina2017]

@finnianvk I really feel like older generations feel a bit entitled to seeing the baby do what they want it to do. “It eats the food now because that’s cute!”

 

[alexfrankone]

@finnianvk It's because when they were having babies that's genuinely what they were told what was best for them. Most often they aren't saying it out of malice, they just don't know. They were told that breast milk wasn't good enough and that's actually really sad and horrible. Then when you tell them how dangerous it is to give a 3 month out cereal they feel like you're saying they were a bad mother and they put their infant in danger. A lot of older people probably feel guilty but they weren't to know they were told by professionals it was the best thing for their baby.

Are there older people who simply don't take the info on board? Yes. But sometimes an initial reaction is just that, an immediate reaction to new information

 

[lupo]

@alexfrankone I've started heading off some of those feelings with variations on this statement: "you did the best with what you were told. But now we know better so we do better." I usually relate it to some thing they would agree is best practices (usually seatbelts) and how back in the day cars didn't have them, but now we know they save lives so we wear them every time we get in.

 

[alexfrankone]

@lupo Yes. I do the same. I remind them that they did it right, they did what the evidence suggested was right, but we have new evidence now and that's what we follow, in 50 years there will be even newer evidence and maybe some of the things we do are actually dangerous, we're always learning, just because the evidence was wrong doesn't mean they did anything wrong.

 

[lupo]

@alexfrankone I love Star Trek. Something that hit me as especially relevant and kinda funny is an episode (I think on voyager?) Where the doctor mentions sutures as being barbaric practice. I used this example with my mother bc she also loves star trek.

 

[alexfrankone]

@lupo I love star trek too when you think about, it kinda is though

 

[lupo]

@alexfrankone It totally is! I also love cross stitching and when I learned to do sutures in paramedic school, i was like..."I've done this before."

(For the record, learning and doing sutures can be part of the paramedic scope of practice in the US, but usually only in austere environments. Whoever reads this, please don't call 911 and get all pissy that the medic can't just do your sutures and let you go.)

 

[redbanklee]

@lupo And survivors bias is a big issue too!!!

“Well I did this & my kids perfectly fine”
Yeah Nancy, your kids just fine… but you & your kids doctors got LUCKY & didn’t even know it!

 

[lupo]

@redbanklee My mother said that about giving water to an infant. "Well, I gave it to you and (little brother) and you were just fine." Ma'am, a lot of kids weren't! That's why we don't do that anymore!

 

[darlinerin]

@lupo This is great! I will have to use this next time someone tells me some outdated information

 

[maryam28]

@alexfrankone This is such a thoughtful response. My MIL didnt even know breastfeeding was an option until she was laboring with her 4th kid and a nurse mentioned it. After birth, the Dr. would give her a shot that would make your milk dry up. She didnt even really know or ask what the shot was for at the time. Come to find out that it causes cancer!

I pretty consistently say "thats no longer reccomended" instead of "you cant do that!" because who am I to make her feel bad after everything she has been through as a parent for 50 years. But I did eff up this Thanksgiving when she suggested giving honey to my 3 month old with the sniffles and my jaw dropped!

 

[alexfrankone]

@maryam28 Thank you , the shot thing gives me absolute chills and makes me so angry. And women who didn't get it got absolutely no help or very little help to breastfeed. People act as if older people want to hurt their kids and that honestly makes me so sad. People give a lot of talk about community, empathy and looking to the reason behind what's being said but as soon as it comes to an older person it's just "ThEY WanT To HurT MY BabY".
The honey thing I've had that said, it's not like they're trying to poison your kid, they just don't know.

 

[doris6]

@finnianvk So many questions about rice cereal. Which my baby hates!

 

[brandon505]

@finnianvk I met a boomer woman recently who told me she had her kids drinking milk with rice cereal and did “cry it out” sleeping on the first night home from the hospital. Made me so sad for her babies.

 

[washburn]

@brandon505 Omg those poor babies. They just came out the womb, they need their mom's comfort and warmth. So sad!!!

 

[annlei]

@finnianvk I have family who think it helps fill them up like the baby is hungry or something? It sounds like it genuinely used to be a really common practice.

 

[alexfrankone]

@annlei They were told by professionals that their milk wasn't good enough for babies and that cereal or starting purees early would stop them going hungry. They were doing what they were told was best for baby, the same way we do.

 

[annjro]

@annlei I was given it age 2 weeks old... There's a no nutritional value to it either!

 

[dfgre6y5t]

@annlei Around 4 months my mom was wanting me to do cereal in his bottle before bed, but at that time he was sleeping so poorly I never had time to pump. I now give my 8 month old oatmeal in his 1 bottle before bed just because he's a slow gainer and I'm trying to give him extra calories and it also has iron. I was talking to my mom about it once and she was like "oh! So he's sleeping longer?!" (I could hear the smile in her voice) and I was like "no." Lol