@jesusismysavior I got court next week. She wants a 2-2-3 schedule when she doesn’t work or go to school. I need a 3-4-4-3 schedule to accommodate my job and school schedule. She even has a domestic violence charge from the police getting involved where she hit me in front of my kids. I just want to be able to provide in the best way possible for my kids and I don’t want either of us to lose time with them. They need us both. And just because we didn’t work out don’t mean our kids need to lose out any more than they already are. Keep fighting man. It’s worth it.
@jesusismysavior Going through the same thing right now. I have proposed multiple 50/50 plans that she won't even read before dismissing them. She told me last week that anything less than 100% time for her was too big of a sacrifice for her to make. Makes it impossible to try and negotiate a settlement to get this over with.
@jesusismysavior She only wants you present financially, I'll guess. You've called it right, she's making this super difficult, hoping she'll win the war of attrition be getting you to give up your child. She's willing to ignore every single stat out there that proves that children that grow up without dads are at a disadvantage in our society....all to satisfy her own selfishness. Oh, and I would speculate that she's well aware that the more time she has the more money she gets. There are also likely friends and family in her ear, egging her on.
r/Divorce_Men is full of men who are going through this exact same thing. It's very common, and you aren't alone in this journey.
@johncarlo That's a lot of assumptions about a person you don't know. Divorce is hard and so are custody fights. I'm sure you've behaved perfectly through all of these things....
@jesusismysavior If this goes to a judge or mediator, they will figure what is in the best interests of the child especially with respect to holidays. Fairness to both parents is important too. The simple solution is to alternate holidays every year. One parent has one holiday one year, the other parent has that holiday the following year. Make a full list of holidays that you wish to alternate. Spring break, Easter weekend, Victoria Day (CA) / Memorial Day (US), Labour Day, etc.
Mother's Day or Father's Day, are usually assigned to the mother or the father, respectively, without alternating.
@jesusismysavior Don’t give up that fight. I’ve seen it with other moms, pissed that the father wants to be present. It’s weird to me but don’t let her frustrating you deter from the proposed schedule. Esp since 1. It’s been working just fine and 2. It’s reasonable. Hopefully the judge and mediator can see right through her bullshit and rule to maintain the 50/50 you’ve had.
