Single mom who wants to introduce my boyfriend to my young son who is autistic

[deeproots]

@annythinkstoomucj That is a great plan!! I’m sure it will go well!!

 

[annythinkstoomucj]

@deeproots I’m hoping, as well. I’ll update this tomorrow once everything happens.

 

[carmen2569]

@annythinkstoomucj Where do you live? My eight year old son loves wolves and was just diagnosed as well. Your boy sounds amazing and you sound like the best mom. I wish you the best.

 

[annythinkstoomucj]

@carmen2569 Oh my! Ha ha what a small little world, it seems like most people I know love wolves, though one friend of mine has a daughter who loves bears.

And thank you, he is the best to me, and I’m simply doing the best for him. You’re the best as well dear

 

[katrina2017]

@annythinkstoomucj Do you have a park or restaurant you frequent? Maybe find a place- take S there alone a few times to get him comfortable- and then bring G once S had time to get use to the place you’ve got this, mama

 

[annythinkstoomucj]

@katrina2017 I’ve spoken more with S and he agrees he wants to meet him at a park nearby our house. G loves the idea as well and told me he can’t wait. All we need to do is figure out a day where we’re not working and S being ok for that day.

 

[thatguync]

@annythinkstoomucj Autism aside, just make sure you’re sure about it.

Has it been enough time? I assume you plan on easing him into a more serious and stable role in your sons life based on your sons acceptance of him. I think that would be the best course of action in my opinion. Please remember that it will take time for bonding to occur, and if it doesn’t work out, it will be difficult on your partner as well.

I went through this recently (she has 3 kids. None with autism, but I got close to the kids. They’re fucking awesome actually.) and to be honest, it was like dumped twice. Once by her, and once by the kids. It really sucked/sucks. It came out of nowhere too.

Just be mindful even when your mind is full, because these scenarios can fill up your plates quickly, and things can get intense out of nowhere. Just remember that this can hurt your partner a great deal as well. Best of luck!

 

[annythinkstoomucj]

@thatguync I do believe it’s been a good amount of time, and yes, if this relationship goes further I will be talking with G about being a parental figure for S. That talk will be for later though. If you’d like, I could post an update, if that’s allowed here.

 

[thatguync]

@annythinkstoomucj That’s great! Best of luck. I’m sure it’ll work out. My situation was definitely a little too close to the divorce for it to have worked out. Feel free to reach out directly if you’d like.

 

[annythinkstoomucj]

@thatguync Thank you so much, I genuinely appreciate it all

 

[thatguync]

@annythinkstoomucj No thanks necessary at all. I hope this all goes the way you’re hoping it will. I’m sure it will. Just out of self preservation, try to avoid having any expectations. They serve more harm than good. I know that may sound pessimistic, but I recently got swept up in the whole thing and didn’t notice myself allowing them to develop.

 

[annythinkstoomucj]

@thatguync I understand, I’ll do my best not to. I see it as good advice, as it is true. Giving too high of expectations can hurt you in the end.

 

[thatguync]

@annythinkstoomucj Awesome. Thanks for not taking any of that personally. You seem really cool and open. I’m sure everything will go as planned/hoped.

 

[annythinkstoomucj]

@thatguync Of course dear, I keep an open mind for a lot of things. And thank you

 

[fredbelieves]

@annythinkstoomucj I would meet at the park you said you go to a lot in another comment. The zoo or a restaurant might be over stimulating, especially with the added stress of meeting a new person. I would also ask your son what he thinks.

My daughter has some autistic traits and likes meeting new people but doesn't like attention/people making a big deal of her. I have not gotten her assessed but she is dx with ADHD. If it were me in this situation with my child, I would choose somewhere familiar and calm where she can safely run away and play if she felt like she had had enough. I also would not want to feel on the spot or like I was in public in case of melt downs, so a park would be perfect.

 

[annythinkstoomucj]

@fredbelieves I spoke with S and he agrees with the park. S is so excited to meet him, he keeps asking me if the day is here. To be honest I’m shocked how well and eager he is to meet G, but it warms my heart to see him so happy.

G is just over the moon to meet him, but he knows to be slow and not overstep anything. I’m happy I posted here, this whole thing has helped me so much. I could never thank you all enough

 

[fredbelieves]

@annythinkstoomucj Aw that's great

 

[katrina2017]

@annythinkstoomucj I am so happy for you all, honestly wishing you the best.,

 

[annythinkstoomucj]

@katrina2017 Thank you so much dear I’ll post another update soon

 

[katrina2017]

@annythinkstoomucj as a special needs parent who is single I root for you all