gottliebe1865ch
New member
submitted 1 hour ago by qnofclean
I was in a very controlling relationship for several years. We never married (which was a blessing in disguise) but we did have a kid together. Through the support of friends and family I was able to break free. However I was pregnant. When I finally got away (mostly just out of his house, still same town), he started to become much nicer to me. Wanting to go to appts and "be" a part of the child's life. He was never really physically abusive towards me (only smacked me a couple times), just always needed to be in control of who I could see, what I could do, so I thought it was ok.
Fast forward to the delivery date, some promises were made and broken, about a week before hand threats were made and I didn't really want him in the hospital with me. He came anyways. I had my daughter and for the two days I was there, he did a 180. I thought maybe that was what he needed finally. He had arranged for me to come stay with him (my family was out of town). So we pack up and get ready to go and that's when I find out he has a new girlfriend. Which is fine, we were broken up. But she's living with him. So I tell him I'm not staying with him. Instead I go stay with my sister. He flips shit and doesn't come around for the first few weeks. But he keeps insisting on a paternity agreement.
During this time a few things the reader should know, I'm a poor college student living with family, working as a waitress. I didn't intend to get pregnant at all, though I love my daughter. Her dad is a professional that makes decent money, has no other kids or responsibilities and can pay for most anything within reason. He kept hounding me about the paternity test and custody agreement and that he would file one without me if we didn't agree to one and then I would be screwed. I believed him. So we sat down and did an agreement. I wasn't happy with the arrangements, but I figured it was better than not having any say at all. I really regret signing it.
Now fast forward 6 months. He's being inconsistent with the agreement. Changing pick up times, not showing up to get her, tried a few times to send his gf over to get her (I refused). I really don't know where to go from here. I feel like I'm trapped and I hate that. I feel like he still has control over me because of my child and I don't know how to break that. I really want to go back to court/lawyer and fix the agreement but I don't know if what he's been doing is substantial enough. I can't really afford a lawyer right now, but income tax is right around the corner and I might then. So do any other parents out there have any helpful advice?
Some things to add - Our agreement (I believe) is 50/50. I do not receive child support. It was done with a lawyer (not in front of a judge) who submitted it to the courts.
I was in a very controlling relationship for several years. We never married (which was a blessing in disguise) but we did have a kid together. Through the support of friends and family I was able to break free. However I was pregnant. When I finally got away (mostly just out of his house, still same town), he started to become much nicer to me. Wanting to go to appts and "be" a part of the child's life. He was never really physically abusive towards me (only smacked me a couple times), just always needed to be in control of who I could see, what I could do, so I thought it was ok.
Fast forward to the delivery date, some promises were made and broken, about a week before hand threats were made and I didn't really want him in the hospital with me. He came anyways. I had my daughter and for the two days I was there, he did a 180. I thought maybe that was what he needed finally. He had arranged for me to come stay with him (my family was out of town). So we pack up and get ready to go and that's when I find out he has a new girlfriend. Which is fine, we were broken up. But she's living with him. So I tell him I'm not staying with him. Instead I go stay with my sister. He flips shit and doesn't come around for the first few weeks. But he keeps insisting on a paternity agreement.
During this time a few things the reader should know, I'm a poor college student living with family, working as a waitress. I didn't intend to get pregnant at all, though I love my daughter. Her dad is a professional that makes decent money, has no other kids or responsibilities and can pay for most anything within reason. He kept hounding me about the paternity test and custody agreement and that he would file one without me if we didn't agree to one and then I would be screwed. I believed him. So we sat down and did an agreement. I wasn't happy with the arrangements, but I figured it was better than not having any say at all. I really regret signing it.
Now fast forward 6 months. He's being inconsistent with the agreement. Changing pick up times, not showing up to get her, tried a few times to send his gf over to get her (I refused). I really don't know where to go from here. I feel like I'm trapped and I hate that. I feel like he still has control over me because of my child and I don't know how to break that. I really want to go back to court/lawyer and fix the agreement but I don't know if what he's been doing is substantial enough. I can't really afford a lawyer right now, but income tax is right around the corner and I might then. So do any other parents out there have any helpful advice?
Some things to add - Our agreement (I believe) is 50/50. I do not receive child support. It was done with a lawyer (not in front of a judge) who submitted it to the courts.