Should I find a new daycare?

[luckyduckydoo]

Should I find a new daycare?

I’m not sure if this is normal, or if I just have really bad luck with daycares.

My son’s first daycare seemed ok at first, but after a while we became concerned with one of the teacher’s behaviour. His teacher told me that he wouldn’t lay down for a nap, so she physically had to hold him down to get him to nap. I wasn’t comfortable with this, and asked her to not do that again. A few months later, my son told me “teacher grabbed my arm and yelled sit down!” I asked him if it hurt, and he said yes. After that, I found a new daycare.

He had his first day at his new daycare yesterday, and I stayed with him for the day. Within the first 15 minutes, a boy around 4 years old ran and pushed my son who is 3, and he went flying. The boy refused to apologize. Later on, 2 boys in the daycare got into a physical fight and one yelled “you f*ing idiot, I’m going to kick your f*ing ass”. I was shocked to hear this from a 4 year old. These 2 boys were terrible the entire day. The teachers didn’t engage with the kids, and we’re all texting on their phones. I’m concerned about my son being around those kids.

My question is… is this normal for daycare? Should I look for another daycare?

At this point, I seriously feel like just quitting my job.

 

[princeadewale]

@luckyduckydoo This is not normal at all! Find a new one! The teachers should not be sitting on their phones all day, they should be interacting with the children and stopping fights not ignoring them. This is disgusting!

 

[eyeh8yahweh]

@luckyduckydoo Find out what the cell phone policy is. They should not be on their phones in program, but address that with the director first.

The swearing is awful obviously but that's the world we live in now where parents allow their child to watch Walking Dead and the like. That's not the daycare's nor the staff's fault. You can still bring it up with the director, but they won't be able to do much about swearing or pushing behaviours.

 

[paparazi257]

@eyeh8yahweh This. The phone thing should be a no no and the fact that she was just letting the chaos happen. But how the kids speak swearing wise I would say is likely more a parental issue and could happen at any daycare. It’s how they reacted to it by just ignoring it that is the issue.

 

[biblebeliever70]

@eyeh8yahweh Letting kids watch the walking dead sadly isn’t even an exaggeration. My friend let her almost 4 year old watch The Last of Us with her. Like… what??

 

[aquietvoice]

@biblebeliever70 It baffles me how some kids can even watch some of that stuff. Our oldest is 5 and we recently tried to watch a kid's movie where a step mother is mean to the main character. We couldn't even continue watching because he was so upset. I know that my oldest is on the sensitive side, but I'm surprised that some kids seem to be able to sit through anything scary (regardless of whether they even should be watching it at all)

 

[churchstumblingblock]

@aquietvoice I had no clue my parents let my 4 and 5 years watch Longmire when they babysat…. Until my daughter explained to her teacher that heroin came in bricks.

 

[aquietvoice]

@churchstumblingblock Yikes. I bet that conversation made you feel like parent of the year

 

[churchstumblingblock]

@aquietvoice I waited for CPS or the Sheriff to show up for WEEKS. Everytime the doorbell rang I peed a little.

 

[juco]

@biblebeliever70 Omg! I love zombie shows/movies, but The Last of Us gave me nightmares with those creepy fungus people. I can’t imagine watching that at 4!

 

[justfortoday]

@eyeh8yahweh This can’t be right. No matter what language and behaviours the kids are used to at home, the daycare should have rules against verbal and physical abuse that need to be followed so it can be safe for everyone.

 

[katrina2017]

@luckyduckydoo Not normal! I worked in childcare, and 4 year olds would never get away with saying things like that in front of me if I were teaching them. Nor would I be on my phone, besides to check for a quick minute. The teachers’ literal job is to engage with the kids. Maybe talk to the director about your concerns… could these be floater teachers just taking over while the regular teacher was out sick?

There are wonderful daycares out there… it does just sound like bad luck the first two times.

 

[inquisitive_0n3]

@luckyduckydoo This sounds awful. I can understand the pushing, but the teachers should have intervened in that situation. The swearing is absolutely not okay and should also have been addressed. If you have the option to leave I would. I can understand the teachers occasionally checking their phones but they shouldn't be on them all the time. I've never seen a teacher on their phone at our daycare.

I'm sorry this is going on, I know good care is so hard to find. We had to pull our child out of her first daycare because we were unhappy with a lot of things that were happening. We are in a much better fit now. I hope you find something too.

 

[inquisitive_0n3]

I forgot to add that your daycare might have a rule about giving 30 days notice before withdrawing. Our old one did and our new one does too. With the old one, I had had some concerns that I shared with them with no resolution. The following week another incident occurred and I pulled her out immediately and sent them an email with bullet points of all my concerns and the times I'd sought support from them to resolve the concerns. I let them know that I wanted them to waive that policy and they did waive it.

 

[mbl92212]

@luckyduckydoo And they knew you were observing? What's it like when you're not there?

 

[davetl]

@luckyduckydoo Nope, not normal. I’d find a new daycare.

 

[afonso]

@luckyduckydoo Ugh why is finding a good daycare like winning the lottery? We’re super lucky to have a ton of options in my area. We paid a lot of attention to the teachers attitudes during the tours. We’re the on their phones looking checked out or playing with/monitoring the kids? We also asked about teacher turnover and benefits/vacation. I’m so glad we switched my younger kiddo and have major regret about my oldest and not changing her.

 

[jimlye2008]

@afonso I also find daycares based on education tend to be better. You know your kid is busy making art and being read to etc. Also no tablet and TV policies for more private or in home daycare is important, because again you know they are being occupied by actual activities.

 

[pj76]

@luckyduckydoo Yes another daycare is what I’d do … that sounds awful they need to be caregivers not complicit to toddler violence and ignoring it

 

[pierrefromchristianity416]

@luckyduckydoo If you’re in the US, your state likely has an agency that is responsible for licensing/inspections/handling complaints. I’d look into that, even if you decide to go somewhere else.