Shocked and Confused by 15yo Child’s Revelation

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jeff98682

New member
My (15f) daughter approached me this morning, very nervous and fidgety. She said she had something really important to tell me and it would take a moment for her to collect her words. Then she said, “Mom… I think I might have worms.” I (40f) was in disbelief at first, thinking it’s too uncommon… to my knowledge, no one in my family has ever experienced a parasite (husband, 3 kids, siblings, parents, etc.) I asked her what makes her think she has worms. She said, “when I go to the bathroom, they look like white little inch worms.” I said, “but there are other things that can look like that though.” I started panicking inside but was trying to reassure her it may not be as bad as she thinks. I asked, “but do they move?” “Yes.” YES!!! For goodness sake, my daughter has tiny little worms inside her! I am horrified and nauseated, but keeping my composure so that she doesn’t panic.

Worst Part: I asked her how long she has known about this. “A long time.” I asked, “how long is a long time??” And she said….. “about five years.”

What the F***!!! How has this child gone five years without telling me this?!? I am just shocked. She is an open book with me about everything else in her life and we are very close. Maybe I need to reevaluate that actually.

I went to the store and bought Reese’s Pinworm Medicine right away and gave it to her. The reviews suggest it works really well and right away. Thank God. She begged me not to tell anyone but the directions suggest everyone in the home takes the medicine too. She asked if she could try the medicine first before going to the doctor, and from what I’ve read online, that’s what many people do, so I agreed.

I’m just reeling from this news today, and I can’t fathom how she could have lived with this for so long without telling someone. I am extremely concerned that this is an indication of something very severe going on mentally or emotionally. I don’t know if this situation warrants counseling but I’m leaning toward it. I’m not sure she would even open up about it. Any suggestions or insight about a similar experience would be very welcomed… even if it’s just a shared experience about the worms!

TD;LR My daughter revealed that she has had intestinal worms for possibly 5 years!
 
@jeff98682 Pinworms are extremely common and, aside from the embarrassment, not a big deal.

Follow the directions on the OTC stuff and it should be fine.

There is no need to explain to the rest of your family exactly why you're making them take the medicine. You could say that you hear it is going around school or you could take the fall for it and say you think you have pinworms (and honestly, you might) so everyone needs to take it

Don't forget to wash clothes and bedclothes extra dilligently while you're giving your family the treatment.
 
@jeff98682 Intestinal worms aren't that uncommon. Living in places where you may have exposure to animal poop (e.g., dog park, farm etc) even if the poop has been picked up, can mean that there are worm eggs in the soil. Little kids playing in sandboxes, folks who like to garden, and pet owners are all potentially carriers of intestinal worms.

My family lives out in the country, and we do an annual deworming of the whole household just in case.

It can take years before you would notice if you have worms. Often it just feels like an itchy butthole. If you aren't aware of the possibility, then you may just think it's time for a shower. If she was embarrassed about it, then I wouldn't be surprised that she took so long to come talk to you about it. That it's distressing you this much, may add to her hesitancy. I would just approach it matter-of-factly, give her the dewormer and a follow up dose in a few days. Tell her to let you know if she has any other concerns, and move on. Don't make a big deal of it. I wouldn't put her in a position that amplifies her embarrassment by making her see a counsellor about it.
 
@emeryz Thank you so much for the perspective. Personally I had never encountered this so I didn’t realize it was so common until today. I am a little relieved!
 
@jeff98682 No worries. The main thing is to see if you can get a good look at them. Nematodes (round worms) and Platyhelminthes (Flat worms, like tapeworms) are different biologically. Roundworms are more common, and the dewormer you picked up should do the trick for them. Seeing a doctor is a good idea, but be aware that they may prescribe a really expensive prescription medication that is no more effective than the over-the-counter option. (We had a great pharmacist who called the doctor when we tried to fill the prescription. $4 instead of $400 was a relief!) The software that listed the medication options for the diagnosis from the doctor listed the most expensive options first!)
 
@emeryz Yes! The reviews for the OTC medicine were full of similar stories about the expensive Rx. I’m hoping it will work for her and this will be the end of it! Thanks again.
 
@jeff98682 These are actually pretty common. It doesn't surprise me she caught them at 10, especially if she is or was a nail biter. The medicine is over-the-counter because it's so common. Just normalize it and thank her for coming to you.
 
@ohageman5 She is a nail biter! And she also stayed with my MIL for a few weeks over the summer that year, and her two small dogs (which my daughter adores) are ALWAYS infested with worms. After putting two and two together, I am not surprised anymore. Thank you for the perspective!
 
@ohageman5 At this point I’m only presuming that’s what they are. I haven’t seen them myself, she only described them to me.

EDIT: Thank you! You’re right and especially with her being a nail biter, she could have gotten them anywhere. Those dogs were my first thought… probably just so I could blame my MIL for this subconsciously.
 
@jeff98682 I’m glad she has worms. Because when you said your 15 yo old daughter came to you all nervous I was afraid she was pregnant or had been molested or was suicidal. Worms are practically a GD blessing 😄 Just reassure her that she did the right thing asking for help and that you want her to know you’re here for her and there’s nothing she can’t come to you with.
 
@jeff98682 My middle some loved putting things in his mouth. That kid had pinworms every few months at one point.

Locally the medicine only comes in family size. They says if one person in a house has pinworms, everyone has them.

In the future if you find yourselves with a grand kid/s whoo loves eating dirt - just give everyone a shot of pinworm meds every few weeks. Trust me on this. LMAO!!
 
@nadeemsagar It sounds like we have been lucky to avoid it up until this point!! Comments like yours have made me feel much better about it. She told me this afternoon that she didn’t tell me about it sooner because she thought I wouldn’t love her as much because she’s “dirty, disgusting and gross.” I guess I have given off that vibe.

So we’re putting it behind us, I told her I know I overreacted, and we’re moving on! Thanks so much for sharing about your experience. It has helped.
 
@jeff98682 You’re not a bad parent and your kid
Is not defective. You are one of billions and billions of people who have dealt with pinworms.

Your child’s reaction is pretty common too. My son didn’t even tell us. We found “rice” in his bed.
 
@jeff98682 I don’t think this is a sign of a serious problem- how you react will determine if they bring future uncomfortable or embarrassing issues to you. So I hope you focus on how glad you are they came to you.
 
@jeff98682 Hiya .. u need to treat every1 in the house .. and hit wash the bedding on your daughters bed .. does she bite her nails? If so she must stop doing that .. that is 1 way of them getting into your system.. clean the toilet seat .. that's another way .. it happens .. but it can be sorted .. best if luck xx
 
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