School lottery blues- I guess we messed up!

[deano1]

Our 4yr old starts kindergarten this fall and we were disappointed to learn that we lost our lottery shot to attend the nearby highly rated but very small (340) public Montessori school that all the neighborhood kids attend and instead have to travel farther to the public STEAM school with a much lower rating. This is our only child and I essentially phased out my consulting business for the last 4yrs to seize the opportunity to spend time with and teach this girl personally prior to school. The pandemic demotivated us for pre-k (due to all the remote learning which we were basically doing anyway). The end result of our whole situation is that we have a brilliant and social little girl with broad and uncommon experience in engineering & prototyping of every sort who is also very advanced in her scholastic pursuits and soaking up new skills & knowledge like an eager little sponge. Beyond the ratings, I really believe the Montessori plan is the best fit for her odd learning approach and lifestyle, and I think she's really going to be bored at the alternate school, nevermind missing the friends and neighbors already at the Montessori.

Evidently the best strategy is to enroll in pre-k at least for a half day and once you're a student you can stay a student. So I missed that opportunity.. and getting in at kindergarten or above requires the lottery with slim odds, but there is also a list of alternate enrollment policies, for example if you live even closer to the school (I'm already less than a mile) you can get in due to proximity. If you have a sibling enrolled you can get in... there are more I can't recall but I was hoping there'd be more options someone might suggest. I'm not looking to bribe anybody or hassle anyone too much but I really feel like while skipping pre-k was best, it was also shooting myself in the foot with this arrangement. Is there a merit-based system I could apply for? What if I taught at the school? What if I enrolled her in Pre-k? I wonder if there's a policy there? I'm in Charlotte,NC if it matters. Nationally NC's schools aren't great but I'm at least fortunate in my particular neighborhood.

 

[stronglady]

@deano1 Why not spin up your consulting business again and use the money to send her to private school?

 

[bluebird12]

@stronglady When I lived in Charlotte, NC, about ten years ago, Private School tuition for a good school was roughly $15K per year. I’m not sure what it costs now, but most of the kids who were enrolled came from families with serious bank. If OP can swing it, that would be ideal, but admissions can also be tricky for those academies.

 

[deano1]

@bluebird12 I looked into private schools and yeah, there was surely some sticker shock. I don't have serious bank and the consulting business was ok, but yielding more hassle than profit. I'm weighing a broad array of employment options moving forward but trying to arrange something where I have enough time to still spend with her rather than try to maximize earning so that we could afford a private school. It would be a big deal for us to swing that financially. Finally, we'd have to factor in a substantial daily commute increase instead of walking or riding the mile to school.

 

[diananwshiro]

@deano1 I'd look into getting her into prek now part time for the rest of this year and see if you can then stay for K.

Also find out about a waiting list. Where I am waiting lists move quite a bit, so it's always worth a try!

 

[deano1]

@diananwshiro I did this. PreK is filled as well. In retrospect I should have (if possible) tried to sign up for both Prek & K at the same time. I'd kind of be surprised to learn that was an option though.

 

[toohuck]

@deano1 I understand your concern, but don't stress too much. I'm sure the local STEAM school will be ok. Most importantly every school has good and bad programs within the school, and as an involved parent you can find the best programs for your daughter. Whatever school your daughter attends, look for volunteer opportunities so that you can learn what works well at her school and she will be successful.

For example my daughter's school has very good robotics and music programs, and the fine arts programs are just ok (used to be great but the teacher who was the driving force quit). Our school also had four teachers for each grade, and you could request a particular teacher. Talk to other parents, meet the teachers, volunteer, etc. and you will learn a lot about the school.

 

[589sv]

@deano1 It sounds like she may be young for her class- you could enroll her in Pre-K this year, to enter K next year as one of the oldest children in her class. Or you could continue to homeschool, and try for the lottery in first grade (there are fewer applicants and more people decline spots the higher grade you look to get into, as they are already established in other schools--its still certainly not a sure thing).

Or you could continue your homeschool journey indefinitely- with COVID a lot of things stalled out and shrank down, but there are typically a lot of homeschool groups with weekly meetups, or even small co ops. Find a homeschool Facebook group in your area and ask about other fb groups for smaller interest areas or active meetings. Social concerns are typically far overblown compared to the actual experience of homeschooling.

 

[katrina2017]

@deano1 Where I live there are strategies where you just show up the first day of school (or 10th day of school) and hope that a spot has opened up. You can look into that.

This is basically my worst nightmare and my daughter is 18 months and I still have no idea where to send her for preschool. I feel very unable to deal with the intensity of this process.

 

[deano1]

@katrina2017 Thanks! I think there are a lot of details like this that aren't listed anywhere. (which is why I'm posting on reddit! haha). I wouldn't quite call it a nightmare, and honestly I'm super happy I chose her over work- it's been pretty awesome helping her build this foundation and I'll never have the chance again. She's so excited about school, and is going to do great wherever she goes but the feedback I get from other parents is that she'll have nothing to do at the rate she's going. Most of the kids she hangs out with are all older too, so all of that plays into the Montessori plan to meet her where she's at.

I'm still fortunate to have the plan B STEAM school nearby which isn't terrible, but all this work to build her foundation while keeping her out of pre-k (she's actually never been to daycare either) and then to have her miss this opportunity due to inexperience and also what amounts to a technicality is kinda painful. At the end of the day I'm not really depending on school to raise her for me, we'll still be learning at home regardless of where she ends up but still feeling some increased regret that I didn't learn the ropes earlier.

 

[katrina2017]

@deano1 I think millennials need to get over their fear of the telephone and call - schools are very old fashioned that way

 

[randiseeks]

@deano1 You left the workforce to be able to homeschool for pre-K. Why not continue if you’re not seeing the school as a good fit?

 

[deano1]

@randiseeks My career is invention & product design so that's quite a bit of what we learn. It's surely an improvisational effort at home schooling, but whatever it is has resulted in lots of the usual scholarly stuff (eg. Reading/Writing, Math, Science) but also crazy stuff (for a 4yr old) like CAD/Prototyping/Tig welding/Coding so I'm not quite sure what the school will do with her.. anyway, part of the answer to this is that I also love what I do and am myself excited to get back into my career. The other half of the answer is that I think she will enjoy a more structured approach deliverd by real actual teachers! The final bit of answer is that I could be totally wrong about the school/fit. It seems like the Montessori is the right choice but I'm ignorant about the big picture here.

 

[randiseeks]

@deano1 My wife homeschooled our kids, so I could be biased. :/. Ultimately you know your kids best and better than anyone on the internet. I just throw out there that homeschooling is an option. Especially for kindergarten. (Here in NY school is t compulsory until 1st grade, so no paperwork for homeschooling kindergarten.) It could be either a going forward plan or a one more year and try to get in the school you want next year.

You may also want to look into financial aid for private schools. It may not be as much of an expense as you think if they offer enough financial aid.

 

[deano1]

@randiseeks Honestly even if I was going to go full homeschooling this year we're too far committed to school and she's too excited about attending. She'd be crushed to learn that we changed that trajectory. In my view we'll always be homeschooling to some degree and conventional school might be considered supplemental to that. I guess it's just a matter of perspective.

 

[randiseeks]

@deano1 Do they have a playground? We considered enrolling my oldest one year and didn’t get in the neighborhood school but the one slightly farther away that was even further away while their building was being rehabbed. So they didn’t have a playground for recess.

I honestly thing she just wanted to go to school for recess because she saw it in Arthur. She wasn’t so disappointed to continue homeschooling when she found out there wouldn’t be recess.

 

[deano1]

@randiseeks Haha.. that's pretty funny, but yes, they have a playground and there is another city playground nearby that is our usual as it's so close. But, its definitely not the playground specifically that appeals to her. In fact, a recent quote from her is: "I want go to every school in North Carolina so that I can learn everything!" She's a regular quote machine!

 

[randiseeks]

@deano1 It’s not usually what’s the motivation for attending school, but worth checking.

My youngest just entered high school this year and is attending the private school I work at. So my wife got to retire from homeschooling this year.