Ridiculous Daycare/Pre-K Policy

[openthedoor23]

My daughter has been attending a local daycare for the last few years, we've had some issues with them, but they've been generally one-off kind of things. They're affordable, they do language immersion in my wife's native language, they give the kids three meals cooked in house every day, as well as snacks of fresh fruit and veggies.

We send her with a snack box. It typically includes berries, carrots, hummus, cheese...and a cookie or 2-3 M&Ms. And that has become an issue.

At first, she came home without eating the cookie, and after several days, asked her if she wanted a different treat.

"My teacher doesn't let me eat treats." and cue they hysterical crying.

We told the facility that she was allowed to eat anything we packed for her (typically, I pack it) with no restrictions.

They continue to restrict, to the point that she now tells us she's "afraid" to eat her snack because "they yell at me."

We reached out to the administration., Instead of responding to us directly, they sent an email about their 'snack policy' which did not exist prior.

Please find this friendly, yet stern reminder about our snack policy. It is in place for the health and well being of your children.

Please remember snacks can include fruits, vegetables, baked crackers, cheese, and/or yogurt. Please do not send in cookies, chocolate, gummy snacks, chips, or any other junk food. We provide healthy meals and snacks, so snacks from home should also remain healthy.

We called and spoke to management. They told us that because some of the kids aren't allowed 'treats' they have enacted this policy that affects all students.

This is not an allergy issue. They believe that these specific children having 'refined sugar' treats will affect their behavior. I agree with the allergen restrictions. This is not a health issue.

After the (angry) verbal conversation my wife had with them, they sent us a direct email. It contained this gem:

The only items we do not allow are chocolate, cookies, gummy candies, and foods of that nature. We cannot allow one child to have it while the rest of the class does not.

Again, not a health issue, not an allergen issue, just their unscientific opinion driving this policy.

I need to know how to counter this ridiculousness.

 

[mimmy96]

@openthedoor23 No judgement, but how come you send a snackbox, when in your words the nursery offers 3 home cooked healthy meals, and snacks of fruit/veggies? My boy goes 0730-1730 every day, and all I send him with is a bottle full of water.

It does sound like a ball ache, but from the staffs point of view it is easier to restrict all than some, just as it would with an allergy. You, as her parent, wish your daughter to eat her snack. Another parent does not wish their child to eat "unhealthy" snacks. Rather than explain to one child why they're not getting a cookie, they just ban all cookies.

I dont disagree with the policy personally, and if the nursery is great in every other sense, maybe not time to rock the boat over this. But I would take the administration to task over your daughter being "yelled at" and feeling unsafe eating her snack. End of the day though, your kid, your rules, full stop. If the nursery environment isnt allowing the choices you'd like, then you'll need to move your daughter.

 

[elianatan]

@openthedoor23 Dude just give her a cookie at home

 

[dwaynehbrown]

@openthedoor23 I mean, the real policy here has nothing to do with health, but rather that if one kid has a cookie then all the other kids want cookies. My eldest's Pre-K had a similar policy, but they didn't try to disguise it. Made sense, everyone went along with it. As they got older and could better handle feelings of wanting what the others have, the rule ceased to exist.

That said, sounds like the daycare didn't do the right thing at all as far as communicating this information and properly enforcing it.

 

[hischildami804]

@openthedoor23 Would it kill you to go along with the policy even if you disagree with it? I don’t think it’s a crazy policy tbh.

 

[openthedoor23]

@hischildami804 The policy is less of an issue than its enforcement amidst another parent bringing in donuts weekly, a class party every other week. They just did Dr. Seuss week, and the photo of the classroom looked like Wonka's kitchen table.

 

[hischildami804]

@openthedoor23 Nothing you’ve said here makes the daycare sound unreasonable or unfair. So they have a party every other week when every kid is allowed treats. That sounds like the perfect “out” to give your kid a soft landing from getting a treat every day.

I think you’re letting your kid pull at your emotions too much and not taking a second to think about it from the perspective of the childcare workers. The last thing they need is a parent going to battle over cookies.

 

[sweetestroseofall]

@hischildami804

So they have a party every other week when every kid is allowed treats.

Reiterating this part, this is the entire point OP seems to be missing.

It's one thing to send in treats for the entire class, its another for one kid to have special treats and eat them in front of everyone.

 

[andrea0601]

@sweetestroseofall But he also said schools justification was that some kids aren’t allowed treats. So, are those kids allowed treats on just these occasions? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against the policy, just a little hypocritical to say no treats for snacks because others aren’t allowed treats and then to have treats every week.

I don’t mind rules if they make sense and are consistent.

 

[sweetestroseofall]

@andrea0601 It's possible they gave OP some BS explanation hoping it would satisfy them, but from everything OP has said they do seem to have a pretty consistent policy from everything they've put in writing.

 

[hischildami804]

@andrea0601 I’ll just speak for my family. We don’t regularly give our kids processed sugary foods. When they go to a birthday party or holiday celebration, we let them eat what all the other kids are eating.

So if my kid was in OP’s daycare, I’d be fine with them having cookies or whatever during the school’s party every other week. I don’t think there’s any hypocrisy or inconsistency here.

 

[durk]

@openthedoor23 My daughter's preschool is the same way. They ban "treats" in lunches, but still have kids birthdays with cupcakes or donuts pretty regularly. They try to couch the policy as a "healthy habits" kind of thing, but I'm certain it's more that they don't want to deal with some kids having treats and some not.

 

[lelalodavis]

@durk Right, this is an "everyone gets something" vs "my child gets something" issue.

Kids can get mean and/or upset if they see one kid with a "treat" and they don't get one.

IIMO: Either follow the policy, pack enough for every kid, or get a new daycare (which will likely have similar policy to keep the peace in class).

 

[gdriggs]

@openthedoor23 What the original post reads like is that they try to restrict individual snacks. One kid will have something, others won't have it and will make a fuss. If somebody brings donuts for all or if they have an event with snacks for everything that is not an issue?

 

[rotan]

@openthedoor23 If I had a classroom full of kids, and one kid had a cookie that none of the other kids would be able to eat, no way I hell would I let that one kid eat that cookie in full view of all the others. Talk about inciting a child riot.

You’re being kinda silly.

Edit: I’ll add—we also go to a daycare that provides all the meals. It strikes me as pretty crazy to be sending in more food on top of that. Pretty sure my daycare would be like “no sorry, we give all the kids the same food at the same time, we don’t do additional special snacks for individual kids, that’s not feasible because we have an entire classroom to be dealing with.” And that would be a completely reasonable response from them.

 

[ambassadorofgrace]

@openthedoor23 If you really think this policy is silly, arrange to watch eight kids yourself for a few hours and then give one of them a cookie and see how much of a shitstorm it causes.

 

[woodsie91]

@openthedoor23 Policy sounds more than reasonable, thought this whole post was a joke at first. Maybe homeschool your kid if you disagree and you can fill them with as much sugary crap as you want.

 

[dizstiguy]

@openthedoor23 The policy is fine, not my preference but I wouldn’t have an issue with following it.

However, if they really did make up a policy on the spot and tried to make it seem like it was a “stern reminder” of the policy they just made up then that would piss me off.

 

[marcspencer]

@openthedoor23 Researchers have found that, contrary to popular belief, sugary foods do not impact the behaviour of children. Source: https://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/busting-sugar-hyperactivity-myth

That doesn't make it healthy of course, and they might not listen if you point it out, but worth a shot.

 

[woodsie91]

@marcspencer So fill your kid with cookies at home then, don’t send it to kindergarten where the teachers are forced to deal with the fallout of a select few toddlers bringing candy.