Reddit put me off flying with a toddler but y’all were wrong

[johnd]

I scrawled through reddit searching for tips on flying with a 21 month old for 16 hours total (2 flights plus a 4 hour layover). I was scared shitless after basically being told by reddit posters that it will be soul destroying.

I wanted to reassure any parents of a toddler that REFUSES to sit still that you can do it. We only had 45 hard minutes in total where he fought his sleep and he slept about 8 hours total.

My only tips - don’t force sleep, he was running around the airport at 3am when he’d normally be fast asleep. I just winged it and let him do his thing.

He travelled on my lap WITHOUT a car seat or his own seat and got a bit frustrated sometimes but who cares, it was fine. In the first flight he slept across my lap and on the second flights he got a couple of seats to himself with there being a lot of space.

Moral of the story; don’t be scared, go on holiday.

 

[tony717]

@johnd I think the moral of the story here is it can be terrible or not. I would also imagine some of the horror stories actually helped some of your experience not feel as awful as it may otherwise. I would personally consider 45 ‘hard minutes’ of fighting sleep on a plane or in an airport pretty awful overall, but you winged it, you’re someone who can.

 

[qzxcvbn]

@tony717 So true what you said about the horror stories likely helping her experience. Expectations can affect experiences so much. It’s like going in to watch a movie, if something is hyped up one way, you’ll likely leave feeling the opposite or at least not feeling it as extreme as what you expected

 

[theriversedge]

@tony717 I guess 45 hard minutes in a 16 hour travel day isn’t too bad. 45 hard minutes on a two hour flight means you’re stressed out and everyone hates you.

 

[tony717]

@theriversedge I think that depends on who you are and who your toddler is. 45 minutes in a 16 hour or 24 hour travel day seems terrible to me.

 

[samuelc]

@tony717 Soooo your toddler is just well behaved 15.75/16 hours on a normal day, so that’s why 45 minutes would seem terrible?

 

[tony717]

@samuelc Oh no, he’s not well behaved 15.25/16 hours on a normal day, that’s the point, the whole thing would be a day of stress and so that day is already elevated which makes the 45 minutes of terror that much worse and something I personally couldn’t handle. My point being that 45minutes is worst because it’s on a travel day.

 

[fkjg]

@tony717 Yep, and having flown many times with my toddler, some flights were terrible and some were great!
I agree with OP’s last line for sure though. Just know you might want to cry, but it will be okay!

 

[bbwjule]

@fkjg agreed! i also fly multiple times a year with my kids, and sometimes have been a breeze, other trips have been a disaster.

a lot of things can factor in-- length of flight, time of day, whether the flight was delayed, etc.

 

[tony717]

@fkjg Well sure, you’ll manage to get through it, but how worth it that is, is individual.

 

[gracefulsongonfire]

@tony717 My one year old screamed the entire flight from Alaska to Hawaii, total of 5 hours. 12 days later, he slept the whole way back.

When my now three year old was about two, he screamed and thrashed for one leg of a flight, and the second leg he was chill watching blippi on his iPad. Literally two flights an hour apart, different kid.

 

[davidixoye]

@johnd That’s great for you! I wish my experience had been the same
I’m planning out next three hour flight for when she’s nearly three and hoping it’ll be somewhat better…..especially as she’ll have her own seat.

 

[mackied]

@johnd I think your kid might be a unicorn. The plane would have had to have made an emergency landing if I tried to sit my 21 month old on my lap for 12 hours of a 16 hour travel experience.

 

[godisdead69]

@mackied Same. We travelled with our kid last October (he had turned 2 in July) and it only was a 3 hour flight and he was super "good" but I was exhausted. 3 hours of entertaining a toddler (who had his own seat luckily) was hard work when you only have 1m². He didn't scream or cry or annoy the people in front of him so I call it a success, but I don't want to do a long flight like that damn. (And I was super happy he slept for like 1,5h of our flight back home)

 

[butterscoth]

@mackied I think it’s kid and parenting dependent. My toddler loves to be held and we have always bed shared so the lap infant thing worked out great for us.

Also things like flying red eyes and getting appropriate seats on planes make a difference!

 

[crutchfield23]

@mackied Then I’m a unicorn too lol. My daughter loves to cuddle and sit in my lap. We did 10 hour flights and while she had her own seat she was in mine the entire time!

 

[nearu]

@johnd We have a lot of family cross country so we’ve done this several times. It’s doable, but can be miserable. For example, I have spend several entire cross country flights holding my daughter in the back of the aircraft bouncing her to avoid her screaming and kicking the person’s seat in front of her. There was one flight where there was turbulence and we couldn’t get up and she just screamed on my lap at the top of her lungs for an hour before passing out on my lap. I was so scared of waking her up I didn’t move the rest of the cloth and my arms both fell asleep. It also has gotten easier as she’s gotten older— at 2.5 she mostly watched movies and the only drama was a sudden fear of the airplane toilet.

 

[sban]

@nearu I’m flying with my daughter who will be 27 months in October to Europe, and your comment is giving me so much hope!

 

[noah0135]

@johnd I mean, everyone’s kid is different? There all just little people. I can do pretty much anything with my first that doesn’t involve a stroller because he’s basically just an angel.

I’m not holding my breath on that for the second.

 

[nancymsl]

@johnd Hooray! I’ve only taken shorter flights with my toddler and some of them were just her and me alone. I think there’s something about being in a really unfamiliar environment that makes my three year old actually listen and pay attention better. It’s not terribly overstimulating either, the white noise of the plane is pretty calming or something.
We’ve had to RUN through customs and baggage checks and I’ve been amazed at how well she listens.