Question about herpes and its contagion.

[wrm11]

@wobblybobbly56 I’ve had it since I was a toddler. I likely got it from my dad. He was very careful, but I still ended up with it.

 

[wobblybobbly56]

@wrm11 Yes… and it can be fatal for infants and some toddlers. Not everyone is as lucky as you.

 

[msavage]

@wrm11 I’m sure it’s not that bad, it’s just that she is 3 years old and it could have been completely preventable. And I have heard a couple of
Stories about contracting it at this age that scares me. Anyway, yes I went no contact with her from the age of 19 till 30 when I had my LO, she seemed very engaging towards becoming a grandmother. However she keeps going over every boundary I have made for her. I have less and less contact with her. I really wish for it to go back to none. I really got that feeling confirmed today when she was being careless towards my daughter.

 

[dueungkall]

@msavage I feel like a lot of these comments sound like when moms/dads get shamed for being careful around covid exposure. Sure, my baby/toddler/child will probably be fine, but they might not be…??? If I can avoid my baby getting covid (or flu or RSV or HFM) by not being around others when they’re sick, I will! Like why risk it if you can avoid it?

Your mom sounds like my mom so I empathize so much with you. Mine keeps kissing my daughter despite me asking her not to over and over and over. It’s so damn exhausting and infuriating, they care about their own “needs” more than our children’s. I just want to scream.

 

[wrm11]

@msavage I was also no contact for years and we finally started doing video calls when our son was 2. She’s only allowed to have my husband’s phone number and we always call as a family. My husband is always there to shut down the bullshit.

 

[msavage]

@wrm11 Wow, u are brave standing up to a family member. It must have been hard. Can I ask what happened to make you cut ties? It’s ok if not.

 

[wrm11]

@msavage My mom is mentally ill. She’s verbally abusive. (And physically when I was a kid.) I will be honest with you. I couldn’t do it on my own. When my husband and I were first married I told him stories about her. He thought I was exaggerating, until he met her. (We eloped and he didn’t meet her until after we were married.) One day he said to me, you know you don’t have to talk to her if you don’t want to, right? It was like a lightbulb went off in my head. Until then, I thought I just had to deal with it because she’s family. We went and got my phone number changed. I can’t even begin to tell you how much better my life got after that. When we had our son we started talking about reconnecting with her. But we set very strict rules. Every time we talk to her, she asks if she can have my phone number. My husband always tells her no so I don’t have to. (She’s old fashioned and thinks men should make all the rules. So it works out for us.) It’s a super hard decision, but sometimes you have to do it if it’s best for you and your family.