Question about herpes and its contagion.

@msavage I have a cold sore right now and the anxiety is eating me that my LO could get it too even though I am constantly washing my hands and cleaning everything. With that said, I have an aunt that never respects any boundaries when it comes to kissing kids. She loves to kiss them on or near their mouths. Doesn’t matter who’s kid. I start to feel chest pains thinking of being around her. I have explained multiple times anyone can have herpes it’s not a shame but please don’t expose my kid. NOPE she said it’s fine because kids need to boost their immune system anyway and getting herpes from kissing isn’t possible because “that’s not how that works.” Sharing because I feel your pain OP.
 
@msavage My (non bio) daughter started getting cold sores at 2 I suspect from grandparents who were very kissy kissy. It’s absolutely heart breaking. My husband and I both have never had them. When our daughter was born (when older one was 5.5) we have a no kissing on the face rule across the board. I think all our relatives have complied. The hardest part is her older sister feels so alienated as the only one who gets them.

Absolutely lay down your boundary and protect your daughter at all costs.
 
@msavage Yes, it is possible to contract herpes via indirect contact. If the your mother’s secretions came in contact with your child’s mucose membranes or via any skin cuts/openings in the skin barrier. Obviously less risk than direct contact so try not to stress until and if it becomes apparent your daughter has cold/flu symptoms or an outbreak.

Sorry this happened, it’s such a violation. It sounds like your mum is asserting her authority by antagonising you. I don’t understand why it’s so hard to be respectful.
 
@msavage Just here to say that while that kind of herpes is possible to majorly injure a child, in most cases it won’t. Even if your child does get the infection, which is very possible as about half of the population has it. It’s annoying more than anything. I have it, and so does my husband. He got it from me most likely as he never had a sore until years after we were together. I’ve had since I was like 5 ish. We avoid kissing our kids and avoid sharing food and drink when we get a sore but that’s it. I’ve never seen my kids get one so far. Although they probably do have the infection. There are a zillion other ways your kid can get it. So I wouldn’t have anxiety about that. But your mom did go against your request and disrespected you so I’d have a major issue with that
 
@msavage I worked in peds BMT and it is surprising how many kids have HSV (there were 6 types we tested for, I believe). The kids with suppressed immune systems had horribly painful looking outbreaks. The parents were usually positive as well even though they never had an outbreak. My co-workers often said even if you’ve never had a cold sore you still shouldn’t kiss kids on the mouth bc there’s a lot of viruses that can get transmitted.

Sorry your mom is a total psychopath! Hope you and your little one stay healthy!
 
@msavage I don't remember exactly but even if your baby got it after 6 mo of age (seems like she is?) the worst it gets is a cold sore. Mine got one and I panicked but kid was old enough it wasnt an issue
 
@msavage Cold sores are dangerous to infants but not for toddlers. The majority of people have the virus in their bodies, so most of us contract it at some point from daycare, school, etc. That said, your mom's behavior is really galling because she isn't respectful of your wishes and it's really best to avoid exposure if possible just because cold sores suck. Fwiw I get them regularly and take valacyclovir as a suppressive, but it doesn't prevent all outbreaks. I try to minimize exposure for my son but he frequently dives to kiss me on the lips, and I'm constantly making food for him, kissing him on the cheek, etc. He's never had a cold sore so far and he's almost 3. I doubt your daughter would have contracted it based on the limited interaction you described.
 
@msavage My toddler got hsv from sharing a water bottle with a nanny. I’ll spare you the details but it transmits very easily especially when baby is sick and has a low immune system. Do not let your mother around your baby again until she agrees to wash her hands religiously. It doesn’t even have to be a full on outbreak to spread. You should be fine because it only spreads with contact with thin skin like lips, nipples or privates.

Our first outbreak was so bad it went to her brain. Now it’s just cold sores but still, You don’t know the hell it is to have a toddler with herpes. The sores take months to go away unless you take an antiviral that messes up their stomach. You have the intense stress of making sure everything is sanitized so it doesn’t spread to your other kids or spread to other parts of the body which is impossible because toddler is always touching her lip.
 
@christian13 Omg! To her brain!??! That’s crazy! Yes I’m absolutely worried. I’ve heard some stories about different types of outbreaks and many are more scary than what many in the comments have personally experienced with “just a cold sore”. This right here is exactly what I’m scared of.
 
@msavage Your mom absolutely sucks. I would cut contact immediately. Her actions are disgusting.

I hope your little one doesn't get sick. I was sick in bed with a fever from a cold sore recently and my kiddo gave me a smooch on the cheek to make me feel better 😭 I scrubbed her with soap. I also kissed the top of her head before I realized a cold sore was erupting. Luckily, no sign of infection. I feel very fortunate not to have passed it onto anyone yet.

I got my infection indirectly. My cousin attended a family dinner with a MASSIVE weeping sore and I still got it from across the dining table without sharing any utensils or food or making any direct comtact.
 
@fender57 Yes, she does. It really angers me more and more thru as the day has went by. I’ll probably feel less and less angry when I feel safe that she won’t have been infected. To add on top of this, she is having a small cold right now, I’m definitely worried about her immune system being compromised and easily contracted this.
 
@msavage It has to be mucus membrane to mucus membrane with open oozing sores- once they have scabbed it’s less likely but not impossible to contract. If she kissed her on the mouth it’s possible she contracted it, but squeezing her cheeks after touching her lip is unlikely since herpes 1 prefers the eyes, nose and lips. It doesn’t get contracted via cheeks etc.
 
@katrina2017 I always had that impression too but I have a friend that got spit on by a patient that had a active outbreak in her mouth and she got infected with it, but her herpes ended up like a rash on her neck and jaw area. This confused me.
 
@msavage People can get herpes even when the infected person **isn't* in an active outbreak. So, your mother may not even have any sores at all, and still be contagious.

It really sucks, but you have to be so so vigilant with your kids health.

I was strict. The person who transmitted the virus edit never had did not have any outbreaks, no sores, nothing during that time period. My son grabbed that person's drink bottle and I think maybe put his mouth on it, before I could grab him or it, and that was enough to contract it. He was a lil less than 2yrs old.

He got very very sick, with sores all inside his mouth, throat, neck, on the outside of his mouth, all in his cheeks. ..he was covered in them.

It is such a shitty thing to happen, and maybe I couldn't have stopped it
 
@gloriabex I’m just curious, if the person who transmitted it never had any symptoms, how do you know they were the one responsible?

Genuinely just curious. It’s so scary that something like that can happen over such an innocent action! I’ve caught my 2yo trying to drink from other people’s water many times before (in fact she caught RSV this way) — I am definitely going to be vigilant going forward.
 
@bigred60 Not "never" had symptoms. Just weren't in an active breakout.

Cos it was during COVID, we were isolating. The options was either me or them, I don't have cold sores, never have, ever. Whereas they have, and have since they were a kid. So, I suppose I don't know for certain, but reasonable guess.
 
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