Pressure to breastfeed

[davexpression]

7 weeks ago I had my first born via c-section because he was large, posterior and I couldn't dialate past a 5 and he was in distress after 23 hours of trying to get more dialated. Anyways, that was traumatic on its own, then I tried to breastfeed in the hospital and he just wasn't getting enough colostrum so we supplemented, I breastfed 80% of the time, and formula for the remainder 20%. He still eats ever hour and a half to 2 hours if I breastfeed and only going 2 1/2 hours with formula.. My husband constantly pressures me to breastfeed, so does everyone else.. I don't like it. It still hurts to get him latched on, now I breastfeed probably 50-60% of the time.. I feel like it is good bonding for my son and I, but I don't want to do it anymore. I know it is good for his health and I'm very fortunate that I can breasfeed...I just feel so guilty every time I bottle feed. Has anyone else had this issue? Do I just push through it?

 

[dbellpreach]

@davexpression A close friend of mine described breastfeeding similarly (it hurt, she didn’t really like it). Around 6 weeks it stopped being as much of a struggle and she stuck with it. However in my [not at all professional] opinion a relaxed and happy mom and a fed baby are what’s important. Do what works for you.

 

[godsman82]

@dbellpreach I 100% agree! Happy mom and fed baby are the number one priority. I hate that there is feelings of shame regarding feeding babies and parenting in general.

 

[manoah]

@davexpression You do what you feel comfortable doing. It’s not your husbands place to pressure you into doing something with your body that you don’t want to do. If you want to FF completely, do it. There are an abundance of studies that show absolutely ZERO long term benefits of breastfeeding vs formula feeding. Did you know that? So there’s no reason to feel guilty for not doing it. Fed is best! FWIW I have a great bond with my son and he’s been sick one time in 17 months (adding that because people love to go on about the health benefits of breast milk). He’s never had a drop of breast milk and is developmentally ahead of most kids his age.

 

[knotlikeyou]

@davexpression r/FormulaFeeders

This sub has been really helpful for me personally. Ultimately you have to do what feels right for you and your baby... anyone else really just doesn’t get a say when it comes down to it.

 

[loveforever8]

@davexpression I’m sorry you’re feeling so much pressure from your spouse and others. That’s really frustrating when you’re still trying to recover and adjust to parenthood.

Find what is the most sustainable choice for you and your family for the long term. What is good for the mom is good for the baby!! (A formula fed baby with a happier mom is preferable than a strictly breastfed baby with an exhausted and frustrated mom). Sacrificing too much time, causing more anxiety or frustration, feeling trapped, or anything else that makes breast-feeding feel like a dreaded burden is never the right decision.

Does your husband have specific reasons for pushing you? Or generic “it’s good for the baby”? He needs to be able to articulate why, AND be 100% supportive of you if he thinks breastfeeding is the right choice. He should bring you meals, water, nipple cream or soothing pads, burp the baby, call the lactation consultant if needed, and help set up a relaxing and comfortable environment for breastfeeding. Telling you what you ”should” do without offering full support is garbage.

Still. He’s got useless nipples and it’s your final choice since you can’t delegate breastfeeding.

I’m two weeks post partum and still trying to get the hang of breastfeeding. Overall I prefer it because it’s “free” to make my own milk vs pay for formula but it is work to calculate feeding times vs pumping, eating and drinking enough to make milk, sore nipples, etc. also I HATE washing bottles so it’s great that my boobs require minimal prep or cleanup. And I think my baby is less gassy than the times we’ve done bottles? But it’s my choice and if I wanted to stop today I would and tell the nagging presences in my life they can come breastfeed any time they want.

 

[davexpression]

@loveforever8 Granted, I'm 8 weeks pp now, but he (my husband) doesn't wake up for the feedings throughout the night, which, while breastfeeding, takes 30 minutes, then I can't go back to sleep for another 30 minutes, then baby is awake an hour later.

He does say that it is good for the baby, but he does a ton of research, constantly. I have also been in car wrecks that have caused a lot of back issues, so I used to smoke weed (I live in WA state) of course I stopped the moment I found out I was pregnant, and now only use CBD, that my midwife OKed. I also had a c-section, so recovery has been fine but I still have a lot of pain if I do too much.. I'm just ready for my body to be my own.

I appreciate you're understanding. I wish more people were like that. It definitely is more cost effective to breastfeed, and in the beginning it was a bonding experience with my son, and I definitely don't mind the loss of calories either.