Pregnancy and weight Rant

[newbie2016]

Long ago, I (F, 26, 354 lbs, 5 ft) went to the doctor about my PCOS, and then I asked about future pregnancies, just so I know for the future. The doctor said to me that at that time, I would need to lose about 10% of my weight (estimately 354 lbs, not entirely sure) if I ever want to have a chance to become pregnant. Due to the medical standard weight and height scale, I am considered morbidly obese and that I would need to be at least 130 lbs. It's possible.. but that could take years! And I'll soon be on a time limit once I'm in my 30s. I've seen many plus-size women have children, especially around my size. To this day, I still don't understand why I had to be different when others were told they were able to do so.

Any words to share on this subject of matter?

 

[marktoo]

@newbie2016 I was diagnosed with PCOS years ago, and around the same time, I had a gynaecologist tell me that he couldn’t “ethically help me get pregnant until I lost 20% of [my] body weight. I was about 250lbs, and 5”6.

Last year, I asked my GP to refer me to a fertility clinic, and NOT ONCE did my weight get brought up. Oh, and at the time I was 280lbs - go figure. We were so lucky, and prescription pills were able to regulate my cycle and get us on track.

I’m 18w pregnant now and I’ve only had doctors tell me that there are some increased risks given my BMI, but we’ll monitor and not to worry.

Obviously there are risks, but if being a mom is what you want, find a doctor that will treat you like a human being. If they bring up your weight, ask them “Would we be having the same conversation if I was 150lbs?”. There are plenty of women who suffer from PCOS that are ALL different sizes and some doctors forget that.

Go for what you want, be kind and patient with yourself and be your strongest advocate. Wishing you the best!

Edit: made a sentence make more sense

 

[kevinkret86]

@newbie2016 The single greatest factor that affects egg quality is age. At a certain point, it's negligible... there probably isn't much quality difference between a 25 year old and a 27 year old. Taking the time to lose weight or improve lifestyle could be worth it. But for most people, it's not. You're young and you have that going for you. The biggest fertility issue with PCOS is irregular or no ovulation, and meds can often solve that problem. Egg quality can be an issue too, and is why I ended up doing IVF with embryo testing. But again you're young and should have great egg quality!

 

[ayanda]

@newbie2016 I am currently 350 lbs, 5'2 and 30 years old. I was at my heaviest 480- and have been yo-yoing between 390-350 since. I also have PCOS. No amount of weight loss has helped me get my periods to be regular. When I was first diagnosed as a teenager I was maybe 160? 180? And my periods were never regular. Also in that diagnosis I was told "you will never have kids."

My OB sent me to a weight loss specialist after I was told I would never have children at my size and I was put on wegvoy for over a year so I could "finally have that baby". Lost some maybe 40 lbs. Then I was "allowed" to go to a fertility specialist by my OB. They told me the same thing "lose 100 lbs and then we'll treat you, have you tried weight loss surgery?" I was in the same place as you, pissed and annoyed. So I found another clinic that did not use weight or BMI in factoring my care. I started with them in March 2023 and I am currently 12 weeks pregnant after 2 medicated IUI cycles. First checkup with a new HAES OB I was told "you and baby perfect, you might have some complications but everyone has different levels of risk. keep active, eat nutritious meals, drink water."

Don't listen to the doctors saying you can't have children. Using BMI is outdated old bullshit. If you can, try to call around to different clinics and see if they have any BMI/Weight requirements. From my research I have found that IVF does have a BMI requirement, but in other places they don't. It's all about the individual practice policies. I'm sorry you were told this by your doctor but you are not alone and you have options!

 

[wiseguy451]

@ayanda The fact that doctors recommend weight loss surgery before trying to get pregnant feels like malpractice to me. The amount of complications that can arise, not to mention what losing so much weight so fast can do to your body, isn’t a good idea for right before conception.

 

[phillnb25]

@newbie2016 I think it has something to do with the weight loss that sometimes triggers a more consistent menstrual cycle? I know that when I lose weight my cycle becomes more regular, and I’ve never been in a healthy weight range. Just losing a portion of my weight triggers my cycle to regulate. Maybe that’s what the OB meant by losing 10%?

Either way I think it’s shortsighted to tell you that you can’t get pregnant without the weight loss. People at all weights have healthy babies.

Edit: spelling

 

[fireheartis1]

@phillnb25 My OBGYN told me that even if we lose as little as 3-4lbs, our brain assumes that we're getting healthier and things start regulating themselves.

 

[fireheartis1]

@newbie2016 I just want to say that, you are not different. If any of the plus sized ladies been to the doctor's they heard the same thing. We all did. Where I live, I don't even qualify to get IVF.

What doctors won't tell any of us is that, pregnancy is possible for us. A healthy pregnancy is possible. Maybe they don't have the statistics, maybe they try to follow the best practice. It's harder but not impossible.

To paint you a picture, I was at your goal weight when I was told that I can't get pregnant and I have to lose weight by 3 doctors. My BMI was showing stage 3 obesity. And I was turning 34. So I thought to myself, ok better late than never because I'm overall in good health, I was already working out and eating healthy without goal of losing weight. So I started my weight loss journey with my endocrinologist. Turns out when we started, I was already pregnant. I found out 2 weeks in and we stopped the program.

Now, if I was 26, I'd certainly stop thinking about the time limit. New time limit is at 40. I'd take a year or two to shread down as much as possible then go for the baby project. Your ttc journey will be much less frustrating, your pregnancy experience will be much easier. You have so much time ahead of you to try and fail and try again. I also respect your choice if you don't want to do that, but that's my advice as someone going through it as an obese person.

 

[married2aliar]

@newbie2016 I don’t have PCOS so I can’t speak to that side of it. But I am over 300lbs (though 5’9”) and had a successful pregnancy despite my first OB telling me I’d need to lose at least 50-75lb before even trying. She also said I’d be automatically high risk because of my BMI. Luckily she moved so I needed to find a new OB and I searched for one that was more body inclusive. My new OB didn’t mention weight until I brought it up. Ultimately I did get gestational diabetes which made me high risk but I still had a healthy baby with no sugar issues. I also was lucky enough (in part due to my gestational diabetes diagnosis) to not gain any weight during my pregnancy and I actually lost weight.

If it’s something you want, definitely work toward losing weight because it will help when you get pregnant but look for another opinion if you need to. Good luck!

 

[cicion]

@newbie2016 I am currently pregnant with PCOS! I did have to lose a bit of weight (started 288) in order to bring back my cycles because otherwise I was not having periods for months on end. I was 260ish when my periods returned and became more regular with metformin. I conceived shortly after right before starting medicated cycles with my fertility clinic.

As PCOS symptoms range from person to person, if you are having periods semi-regularly and are actually ovulating you should be able to do it without losing weight. If not, losing some weight might help just get your body regular again.

 

[yoli24]

@newbie2016 I was struggling to get pregnant and had started to look into fertility testing/treatment. I started with my ob and they did some initial testing, but my Dr also brought up the losing 10% body weight. My Dr. explained it (to the best of his ability). Basically that losing somewhere in the ballpark of 10% body weight (if you're overweight) increases fertility. They don't know why this happens, its not a specific weight to hit, or BMI, but something about losing some weight improves fertility. So, the Drs don't know why this happens, but there is a correlation. My Dr. didn't say I should stop trying to get pregnant while losing weight.