how intensely are y’all playing with your kids after you get home from work? my daughter’s 7 months, so playtime is still pretty chill, but i often wish i was doing more. some days the stars align and i can crawl around with her, read books with alllllll the silly voices, point out objects and chit chat / etc etc. other days it’s all i can do to lay on the floor nearby and let her climb on me - most days it’s somewhere in between. i’m curious about how engaged you’re managing to be after one of Those Days at work and if anyone has tips n tricks on how to be a more present parent when life is wearing you down - im all ears
@j2049 i basically sit in his play pen with him and chuck random toys his way or let him climb on me (8.5 months). he gets great entertainment all day at day care so with the 30 minutes i can chill with him while husband cooks dinner (or vice versa) we just kinda annoy him with love or throw his toys around
@j2049 I have a 7 month old and we are pretty similar. She sits on the floor in the kitchen and she babbles to me as I talk to her while I cook. Then we eat as a family and either me or dad does bath time. Then there’s about 30min before bed where I sit in her playpen with her and she climbs on me and we make funny noises. She laughs and seems so happy to be around us.
She gets “enriching” activities all day at daycare so I’m not too concerned about what we’re doing at home as long as she’s getting attention and I’m off my phone. I just want her to feel loved and important and I think she does so I don’t stress too much.
@j2049 I try to do 15-30 minutes of phone free focused playtime with lots of eye contact. The rest of the night I’m washing my pump parts, making/eating dinner, prepping for the next day. I play with her, but it’s mostly just to fill my own cup because I love miss her so much.
@serina1995 15-30 minutes is super doable, and i like the idea of turning it into hang out time because i like it, as opposed to “oh god we need to be doing developmentally enriching play all the time”
@j2049 Dude at 7 months even staring at a fan is SUPER COOL and fun. Seriously. They’re still so new to the world, just crawling over your body has a million different experiences, new muscles to use, and let’s them feel close to you. Sounds awesome! You are there to be her parent, not her entertainer. Just chilling, maybe playing with some blocks, whatever, is all valuable and builds strong bonds. You don’t have to be “on” all the time.
My kid is now 4. After work we eat dinner, chill on the couch, and do bath and bed time. As they get older and go to daycare/preschool they like to chill after “work” too. Cut yourself some slack!
@raneubb ugh you’re right, it seems like with every new phase i get myself all worked up about what i’m doing vs what i Could be doing if i was an A+ human with boundless energy and 28 hours in a day lol. first time mom syndrome is real
@j2049 So I feel like our current generation gets a lot right about parenting, but I also feel like it pressures parents to always be doing/teaching/entertaining. There’a a lot of that in everyday life things that aren’t special “enrichment” activities. Just chatting while doing dishes, etc.
Also it’s important that kids learn they won’t be entertained by a parent all the time. I’m really bad at this, but my husband is much better. Our kid is 4 and he’s great at knowing how to leave her alone. When I’m home she’s constantly asking for stuff to do/is bored/etc. If he takes over she’s magically doing the holy grail “independent play”— cool and imaginative things by herself!
ETA: I’d recommend reading the book “Hunt, Gather, Parent.” It provided some alternative views of parenting around the world for me that I found less “intensive” in some ways— though naturally still filled with love and care for the child!
@j2049 When my first was that age, my husband and I would play catch with each other while she watched. She thought it was hilarious, and then sometimes she would get bored of us and do her own thing and we'd still be throwing things at each other. Catch is always good at helping me zone out, but everyone's different so YMMV.
