PLEASE ADD TO MY LIST OF THINGS YOU'D TELL YOUR YOUNGER SELF

[zina200045]

I have a 3 year old daughter, and it has been the joy of my life to be her Dad. She's just so happy, affectionate, smart, beautiful and well-adjusted. Since, she's come around I've been jotting down the important things I wish I'd or been told when I was younger. Below is my list so far. Dad's of the internet, please add yours.

THINGS I WOULD TELL MY YOUNGER SELF

1. You are not the main character of anybody’s story but your own. Everybody is as focused on themselves as you are on yourself.
2. Curiosity is a superpower and it is your duty to understand the world around you for your own survival and to define opportunities to improve it for others.
3. It’s OK to be selfish in your 20’s so long as you understand that long-term selfishness is a recipe for sadness. In your 20’s your adulthood is in it’s infancy and you are at your most beautiful and able-bodied. Go out and experience the world in every way possible
4. Go against the grain. Most of life’s experiences can be enjoyed better if you go in the opposite direction of the crowd.
5. Ultimately, service to others is the only thing that brings satisfaction.
6. Choose the people you give to wisely but remember that it is better to give and occasionally be taken advantage of than to not give at all.
7. Bring value to your friendships and relationships.
8. Never miss an opportunity to tell someone that you love them.
9. Do things you don’t like to do frequently. Getting comfortable being uncomfortable will serve you well.
10. Cream rises to the top.
11. We cannot choose what happens to us. We can only choose how we react
12. ....

EDIT: THIS POST DID BETTER THAN I EXPECTED. THANKS TO ALL THE INVOLVED PARENTS OUT THERE WHO TOOK THE TIME TO SHARE THEIR SENTIMENTS AND THEIR LIFE EXPERIENCE.

I LEAVE YOU WITH THE QUOTE THAT INSPIRED THE POST:

"Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth."

 

[emokhimy123]

@zina200045 Start stretching

 

[healingprayer1]

@emokhimy123 Literally! And it’s never too early for skin care ie. drinking water, moisturiser, and sun cream daily

 

[jj2]

@healingprayer1 I agree with drinking plenty of water but everytime i drink moisturizer or sun cream i get a tummy ache

 

[alvin]

@jj2 Add it to the list!

 

[temre]

@jj2 You gotta do things you don’t like frequently. Get comfortable being uncomfortable.

 

[bwattz]

@emokhimy123 Stay curious, hydrated, and stretched.

 

[poetricia]

@emokhimy123 Oh god, it can take me hours to go to sleep until I find the right muscle group to stfu in just the right way.

 

[doomsayer2]

@zina200045 It's ok to feel and share all of your feelings, no matter how big or scary they are, but don't let them control you.

 

[prepperoni]

@doomsayer2 this is a big one i have to battle with my wife regularly. she grew up with an emotional abusive single mother and so she swung too far in the other direction of 'feelings matter more than anything'.

feelings DO matter, and we can absolutely talk about them. but you cannot allow them to cloud your judgement and affect your outwardly facing persona, especially in front of your children.

thankfully wifey is getting better about this daily.

 

[doomsayer2]

@prepperoni I get it - my dad had a lot of anger management issues and was a yeller so having a healthy relationship with my emotions is a work in progress for me (with the help of therapy). The work is 100% worth it though to be a better father and be able to model healthy emotions better than my dad did for me.

 

[sweetcr]

@doomsayer2 There’s a children’s book called Go Left that focuses on this. Letting go of worries, doubts, fears, frustrations, but recognizing then.

 

[bill55]

@doomsayer2 And they are TEMPORARY!

 

[katrina2017]

@zina200045 From my dad, "It's all fun and games till someone loses an eye... or gets pregnant."

 

[zina200045]

@katrina2017 LOL

 

[isimba]

@zina200045 Invest early

 

[zina200045]

@isimba Good one. Financial literacy escaped my parents completely and even at 41 I'm still struggling with it.

 

[ploverwing]

@zina200045 So you open an account for her right away and start depositing, even tiny amounts, on a regular basis. She'll be thrilled

 

[zina200045]

@ploverwing Spot on. I did this last year.

 

[ahilla]

@zina200045 From a dad of two now college grads, put that money in YOUR name, not hers. Make sure her name is nowhere near it. It can be a completely separate account, you can call it "her" account, but keep it in your name.

If she chooses to go to college, financial aid calculations treat money in the students name with a far higher regard towards funding calculations than money held in the parents name. I think it's something like 30% to 5% but the formula does change so I could be wrong on the exact percentages. It's never changed that the student money has a huge impact though.

And yes, there are IRS limits on how much you can give your kids, but there are ways around that. For example, the annual gift limit does not apply to payments made directly to a school on behalf of the student when it's for tuition. You could send $50,000 a year to the school to pay for tuition and it simply doesn't count towards that annual limit. And if she chooses to NOT go to school, you can still give large amounts (i.e. like a house down payment) and file paperwork with your tax return to claim it against your lifetime exemption so you still don't pay taxes.

So, keep it in your name. If you're 100% certain about college, you can do a 529, but you're still the owner of that account.