@tims64 Hi friend.
My husband and I are OAD. We originally planned to have two. We have a lot of reasons to be OAD. One reason is that we can afford a much better life for our daughter if we only had her. She would get to travel internationally with us, have help with college tuition (if that's the direction she chooses), have more wants, etc. Pregnancy was relatively uncomplicated however, I did develop pre-eclampsia right at the end and it was very hard on my husband to feel so powerless. Newborn stage was also VERY hard. I have chronic fatigue and I'm not sure I could do it again, even though in my heart, I always pictured a larger family. But probably the most significant reason why we are OAD (at least for me) is because when I got pregnant, we did the NIPT and surprisingly found out that I am a fragile X carrier. With additional testing, it was determined that the risk of mutation was low (especially because I was pregnant with a girl [and she is, in fact, perfectly healthy]), however, if I were to get pregnant with a boy, he could be mildly to moderately to severely impacted by it. My cousin has a son not much younger than my daughter and I am pretty sure he has fragile X. He will be 3 this year and is just starting to walk. There is no telling how many more delays he has or will have or if he will ever be able to do everything a child/adult can do. So a second is definitely out for us. It was a hard thing to accept, especially since my brother had a second (our girls are within 6.5 month of each other). I got the baby fever, but I just knew I couldn't take the chance (as well as all the other reasons we had to just have one).
So I feel you. It's a hard thing to reconcile. It sounds like you are doing the right thing for your family.