One and done because my partner will never carry the same mental and physical load when it comes to taking care of this child

[kerithravine410]

My child is reaching a year now and I’m so dissatisfied in my relationship with my SO since EVERYTHING FALLS TO ME.

Weaponized incompetence doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of where we are. I have to ask him to do everything, and when I do, there is a MILLION follow up questions. Ask him to take her for a walk to get some air? Well, where do we go? What should she wear? What should I bring? Where’s the stroller? What happens if it rains?

Even down to when he watches her so I can work. I have a cushy work from home job and realistically I can work steady about 5 hours in total in a 7 hour workday. Right now she’s at home because we’re still trying to find daycare and I can afford to deal with it for the time being. In my seven hour workday I am still feeding her breakfast, entertaining her, rocking her to sleep, feeding her lunch, doing diaper changes. When he watches her, he sits on his phone and lets ms rachel do the job cause fuck being an actual parent, right?

I go and do my meetings in the afternoon and when I’m done the work day? I’m feeding her supper, I’m entertaining her, I’m getting her ready for bed. Oh and also, I’m still the one to get up with her in the night because she “comfort nurses” and he can’t “get her to sleep”. If she wakes up at 5 and stays up? It’s on me and I still have to punch in at 8.

When we fight it’s “oh well, ask me if you need anything” but Jesus Christ just fucking step in dude.

One and done for sure because I’m pretty sure if I had to juggle two babies with this much incompetence and lack of support I’d go to jail for manslaughter.

 

[cookiedough7177]

@kerithravine410 Does he work? I couldn’t tell from your post if you’re the sole earner, childcare, maid, AND cook.

You definitely have a partner problem. Try the fair play book and game. Go to counseling.

If nothing changes - leave. life if short.

 

[kerithravine410]

@cookiedough7177 Basically all of that. He’s been laid off since January, which made me have to short my mat leave and go back to work a month early because we would have been destitute if not - so earner, childcare the majority of the time, maid and cook. Things will be sorted one way or another because if this rant is any indication, I’m tired of sugarcoating my demands. If he doesn’t want to be a parent, sign over the parental rights and go live at his mamas house because I’m fucking done.

 

[kelleybee]

@kerithravine410 You make it clear he’s a burden to you at this point and you no longer have positive feelings toward him, you literally haven’t said a single redeeming thing about him, so why haven’t you left or, to your point on having him sign over parental rights, asked him to leave yet? There’s not an ounce of love, gratitude, empathy, or any positive sentiment of any kind toward him in anything you’ve written, he’s clearly a net negative in your life, get rid of him. You only have a short time in this world, don’t spend it with people you despise.

 

[kerithravine410]

@kelleybee Agree wholeheartedly. Logistics are quite the bastard to iron out at the moment. It’s on the horizon if circumstances don’t change after being addressed.

I don’t know if you’re a Taylor Swift fan but to summarize - “baby love I think I’ve been a little too kind”

 

[ralphz28]

@kerithravine410 You are basically a single parent. I think it's time to make it official.

 

[happygoluckymann]

@kerithravine410 I literally gasped out loud. I think you already know what you have to do and how you feel. Document as much of his incompetence as you can. I just got out of a two year custody battle and it is ugly, and expensive. But the freedom is worth it. I’d rather be doing all this alone than doing it alone while my partner watches or doesn’t even try. That feels way worse.

 

[paul3993]

@kerithravine410 You are a saint! I'm so sorry. He really needs to get with the program.

 

[barcosmo]

@kerithravine410 I’m sorry, but if he is home then he should be doing 90% of the parenting. I’m a SAHM and my husband works from home, but I never bother him while he’s working. Because he’s doing his job and I’m doing mine, which is taking care of our baby. In the evening we take turns.

Sorry your husband is being so shitty, that’s really unacceptable.

 

[salonequipment]

@kerithravine410 I divorced a man child just like this. I'd rather be a single mom to just my child than have to take care of her AND a grown ass man. No thank you!

 

[ponygals]

@kerithravine410 God, all of that and he doesn't even work?? OP, I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I'm not giving any advice here on whether you should leave, but it feels like you are a single parent anyway without the freedom of being a single parent. This sucks so much, I really hope you can find a way through this shit.